It was last Wednesday when the Thing flew in. Nik was just coming in through the front porch, it was about 6.30 p.m. and dark outside, and she hadn't switched on the porch light.
I was in the kitchen and she scurried in, shaking her shoulders and saying, "Ugh" as she did so.
"Oh you've got to come and look at this, Mum," she said. "I was in the porch, had my key in the inside door, when there was a very loud buzzing noise, like a motorbike, and this Thing hit me on the head and dropped on to the floor." She followed me down the hall and out to the porch watching, very carefully, over my shoulder.
"It's there," she squeaked, pointing to the carpet behind the glass porch doors.
I put the light on and bent over to have a closer look. The Thing was huge (by Thing standards). It was jet black and shiny, nearly 2" long and almost as wide, and I could just make out some short legs. It was obviously some sort of beetle but at least twice as big as any I'd ever seen before.
"We need to get it outside," I said. "I don't know what it is but I don't want to hurt it." (I was also thinking I didn't want it roaming my home in case it was some kind of black cockroach acting as a scout for its tribe and ready to send signals saying, "Good pickings here, lads. Their cat drops its food on the floor and they've got a girl that wanders round the house eating the odd biscuit."....but I didn't voice that).
"Well, I'm not picking it up," Nik whimpered. I sighed, one of those 'harrassed mother' sighs (yes, you can still do them when your child is 33).
"Go and get a piece of paper," I said in that 'I'm a very patient, harrassed mother' voice you perfect before your children reach 11. "And get one of those clear plastic tumblers I bought at Christmas (and forgot to use)". She went and got them and, my being a bit shaky in the bending over stakes, I instructed her to place the paper under the Thing and the cup over the top, like you do with spiders - well, I do.
The first go just knocked the Thing over on to its back. I was able to see that it was fawn coloured underneath, had the regulation 6 wiggly legs but didn't seem to have a head, though it must have. The second go got it back on its feet and under the cup. I would have loved to take it in the house to examine it but Nik was holding it at arm's length, pulling a face and saying the equivalent of "Bleeeaaaagh" so I let her take it out to the front wall and deposit it there. It promptly took off into the night with a loud whirring of wings.
My next task was to start googling beetles to find out what it was. I looked at dozens of pictures, read umpteen descriptions but none of them matched the Thing.
Being completely flummoxed I put a post on a local website, described the Thing and asked if anyone knew what it was. I got a couple of replies but they weren't right then a member of the forum who doesn't post very often saw my thread. I know him very well, as I worked with him until I retired in 07, he's just a little older than my son and he's a very keen angler and always on some river or other.
He came up with what looks like the Thing, pointed me towards google images and, yes, it looks the same. It's a Great Diving beetle - apparently very rare these days and it looks like this:-
I was in the kitchen and she scurried in, shaking her shoulders and saying, "Ugh" as she did so.
"Oh you've got to come and look at this, Mum," she said. "I was in the porch, had my key in the inside door, when there was a very loud buzzing noise, like a motorbike, and this Thing hit me on the head and dropped on to the floor." She followed me down the hall and out to the porch watching, very carefully, over my shoulder.
"It's there," she squeaked, pointing to the carpet behind the glass porch doors.
I put the light on and bent over to have a closer look. The Thing was huge (by Thing standards). It was jet black and shiny, nearly 2" long and almost as wide, and I could just make out some short legs. It was obviously some sort of beetle but at least twice as big as any I'd ever seen before.
"We need to get it outside," I said. "I don't know what it is but I don't want to hurt it." (I was also thinking I didn't want it roaming my home in case it was some kind of black cockroach acting as a scout for its tribe and ready to send signals saying, "Good pickings here, lads. Their cat drops its food on the floor and they've got a girl that wanders round the house eating the odd biscuit."....but I didn't voice that).
"Well, I'm not picking it up," Nik whimpered. I sighed, one of those 'harrassed mother' sighs (yes, you can still do them when your child is 33).
"Go and get a piece of paper," I said in that 'I'm a very patient, harrassed mother' voice you perfect before your children reach 11. "And get one of those clear plastic tumblers I bought at Christmas (and forgot to use)". She went and got them and, my being a bit shaky in the bending over stakes, I instructed her to place the paper under the Thing and the cup over the top, like you do with spiders - well, I do.
The first go just knocked the Thing over on to its back. I was able to see that it was fawn coloured underneath, had the regulation 6 wiggly legs but didn't seem to have a head, though it must have. The second go got it back on its feet and under the cup. I would have loved to take it in the house to examine it but Nik was holding it at arm's length, pulling a face and saying the equivalent of "Bleeeaaaagh" so I let her take it out to the front wall and deposit it there. It promptly took off into the night with a loud whirring of wings.
My next task was to start googling beetles to find out what it was. I looked at dozens of pictures, read umpteen descriptions but none of them matched the Thing.
Being completely flummoxed I put a post on a local website, described the Thing and asked if anyone knew what it was. I got a couple of replies but they weren't right then a member of the forum who doesn't post very often saw my thread. I know him very well, as I worked with him until I retired in 07, he's just a little older than my son and he's a very keen angler and always on some river or other.
He came up with what looks like the Thing, pointed me towards google images and, yes, it looks the same. It's a Great Diving beetle - apparently very rare these days and it looks like this:-
