Update

dotti34

Nori Brick
Tackler
After my earlier blog, you might be wondering how things are going with us, so here’s an update. My old bloke saw the Oncologist on the 27th November. We knew by then of course (as per my previous blog) that he had lung cancer but were hoping that the prognosis wouldn’t be too bad and that treatment could be offered him to extend his time left with us.

Well we can hope these things but they don’t always turn out the way we would like them to.

The Oncologist confirmed what we knew but unfortunately had to tell us that without treatment my fellow might expect to only have 3 to 6 months of living to do. Have a feeling though that this is the standard prognosis given to most in this situation.

He was told chemo could give him an extra few months but it might be at some cost. Not monetary cost but at the quality of life. Being the man he is he said he would do anything to stay around as long as he could if it was only to torment me! That is the sort of torment I can take.

Following this meeting he had a biopsy to ascertain the type of cancer before treatment could begin. The Oncologist had shown us images of the chest and lungs and sure enough there were big problems by now on both sides.

Well he had the biopsy and today we went for the result to be told what we already knew – my Accrington bloke is a mystery man. My heart skipped a beat when we were told that the biopsy had shown no cancer cells whatsoever which is the mystery. However, I quickly came back to earth to be told irrespective of that finding the big C is there and there’s a lot of it.

By the way, our own doctor was more than a bit shocked and upset when we told him the prognosis – he’s kept us well for many years – and said to stay positive and that in his opinion Oncologists are inclined to be pessimists.

The Oncologist suggested that my man waits until after Christmas so that we can have a really good day with the family (just in case he has a bad reaction to the chemo) – he can’t promise him another Christmas but who knows. I said we are looking forward to having a good Christmas, then a good anniversary, then a good Easter, then a good birthday, and another, and so on. Positive thinking, and then more positive thinking.

We know he’s had a good innings but this man is not out yet. He’s still got a few runs under his belt – might even hit a boundary or two. He’s in there fighting.

So the chemo journey begins on the 29th December. A journey we never thought we would be taking (‘it only happens to other people’) but we’re in it together and somehow I am sure we will get through – and yes, we just might have another Christmas together. Then he really will have earned the mystery man moniker.
 
Hope is the thing that sings in the dark...and yes I have been wondering how you were going.
Like you I was hoping that you would get information that would lift you.
Dotti, this is going to be a tough old challenge.
Chemo is like trying to push a piano up a big hill...a real struggle, hard tiring work.
Do not listen to what anyone tells you(that includes me) everyone has their own experience and they are all different.

When my daughter was diagnosed we were left to watch a video of people who had supposedly made this 'journey'....they painted it in very unrealistic terms.
So what hit us was like a sledghammer.We were in no way prepared for the wretched experience.

You get through by taking a day at a time...by accepting any help that is offered, by sleeping when tiredness overcame us...by eating whatever would stay down(sometimes this consisted of a nothing sandwich.)
Stay strong Dotti and every good wish and hope that you can keep the old guy going.
a big hug for both of you ((((((((((Xx))))))))))
 
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Margaret is spot on Dot, just do yer best to enjoy what time there is.one day at a time, I got the tea-shirt, my first wife went nearly 13 months when they gave her 6, so it can be done. good luck and god bless.
 
Your Doctor is right about oncologists, they are invariably miserable pessimists.
My daughter hates hers with a passion (that sounds horribly ungrateful, but you can only speak as you find) but he is the only one who serves our area.
 
Many thanks to you all for your kind thoughts and support. Much appreciated. Am sure the old man will keep on keeping on. He'll do his best anyway.
 
As Margaret says chemo is a challenge, but not everyone has the same experience. My mam was 84 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, this had also spread to other parts. The nurses of the oncology unit told her, that older people usually take to it well, not reacting to badly, and she was lucky because this happened to her.
She died when she was 87, not from cancer, but pneumonia.
she could have lived for a lot longer had it not been for the Doctors on the general ward deciding not to treat her.
What I am trying to say is, go with your own gut feeling over treatment, if you are not happy, say so, and make sure they have listened. Doctors are not always right, we are testament to that. Have a lovely time this Christmas Dotti, I will be thinking about you...Bea
 
Thank you, Bea, for your encouraging words and good wishes. We are certainly looking forward to Christmas with our family - no doom and gloom or long faces allowed on that day (or on any other come to that!).

Here's wishing you a lovely Christmas also and a bright and happy New Year.
 
Thank you johnenglish, sorry this comment is a bit late in being made but have only just checked into my blog. I do appreciate your kind thoughts.
 
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