what would you do?

K

KiTChener

Nori Brick
Tackler
advice needed!

My wife is currently in RBH, & will be for the near future, (IE, over Christmas).

My daughter is insisting that I join her, hubby & g'kids for C'mas day lunch. I know she means well, thinking of me,

Yet I feel, & want, to spend the day with my wife of almost 52 years, I cannot bear the thought that I will be apart from her at anytime at C'mas for the first time ever!

I obviously don't want to upset my daughter, but, my wife comes first.

Anyone been in similar circumstances who can offer advice?

Thanks,

Gerard
 
Sorry not been in that position however I hope your Wife is better soon and I think you should do what you feel is the right thing for you.
 
Just divide your time, spend a couple of hours with your Missus in the morning, scoot off for dinner with your daughter & family I'm sure your wife will understand (probably even encourage you to go) then come back later on & spend the rest of the day with your missus.
 
DaveinGermany said:
Just divide your time, spend a couple of hours with your Missus in the morning, scoot off for dinner with your daughter & family I'm sure your wife will understand (probably even encourage you to go) then come back later on & spend the rest of the day with your missus.
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Thanks, DinG, was what I was thinking, nice to know someone agrees.

Thanks for your comments, you & Shurm

Gerard
 
Just tell your daughter what you have told us, I think she will understand and may even take the g'kids and go with you. All the best.FM.
 
KiTChener said:
Thanks, DinG, was what I was thinking, nice to know someone agrees.

Thanks for your comments, you & Shurm

Gerard
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"Great minds" & all that, then again there's always "Fools seldom differ!" :)
Either way, enjoy it the best you can & hopefully next Christmas the whole gang will be together.
 
Good plan splitting your day and you'll be able to have all the rest of the afternoon and evening with her. Don't they relax visiting hours on Christmas day?
On top of which your wife will be pleased your having a good Xmas lunch!
 
ferret man said:
Just tell your daughter what you have told us, I think she will understand and may even take the g'kids and go with you. All the best.FM.
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Thanks, FM, appreciate your comments.

They are all going to visit RBH anyway, it's just that I don't feel like leaving to go & 'enjoy' myself at theirs, without my wife, her Mum, & their Nan!

Gerard
 
Gordon Booth said:
Good plan splitting your day and you'll be able to have all the rest of the afternoon and evening with her. Don't they relax visiting hours on Christmas day?
On top of which your wife will be pleased your having a good Xmas lunch!
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Thanks, GB,visiting hours are relaxed over C'mas, however, I am currently going in at 8am, & staying all day, leaving at 7/8pm! I am putting in more hours than some of the nurses! They've actually offered me a 'clocking in' card!
As for the Xmas lunch, I am told that the kitchen is of Michelin standard on C'mas day!

Gerard
 
It must be a difficult decision but I think the idea of spending time with your wife in the morning then having lunch with your daughter and going back to see your wife in the afternoon seems the best but ofcourse it is your choice. There is always something going on in hospitals on Christmas Day so your wife if she is not too ill, which I hope she isnt, should enjoy the entertainment while your away for a little while. On the other hand you might want to enjoy it with her. Whatever you decide I hope you and your family can have as good a Christmas as circumstances allow and that your wife is back home with you very soon.
 
Rowlf said:
It must be a difficult decision but I think the idea of spending time with your wife in the morning then having lunch with your daughter and going back to see your wife in the afternoon seems the best but ofcourse it is your choice. There is always something going on in hospitals on Christmas Day so your wife if she is not too ill, which I hope she isnt, should enjoy the entertainment while your away for a little while. On the other hand you might want to enjoy it with her. Whatever you decide I hope you and your family can have as good a Christmas as circumstances allow and that your wife is back home with you very soon.
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Thanks, Rowlf, I am so grateful for all accywebbers comments on here, but what I am finding difficult will be to leave my wife, after a couple of hours, to then go to my daughter's home & not bring down the mood of their celebrations, then to rejoin my wife, without feeling that I have 'abandoned' her!
If there is any entertainment in RBH, I would rather share it with her, than be away from her, despite my daughter's best intentions.
BTW, as far as I know, my daughter is not a member on here!

Thanks again!

Gerard
 
Wynonie Harris said:
Yep, that sounds a good solution...then later on, you can break it gently to your missus that you're going to Carlisle on Boxing Day! :D ;)
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I wish!!!

Won't even make Saturday's game!

I know we are at home, but don't even know, or at the moment, care, who our opponents are!!!!

But your post did raise a much longed for smile!!

Cheers

Gerard
 
I am so sorry to hear that your wife is poorly and will be in the big house on the hill over Christmas.
My thoughts are much the same as those already expressed.
If you are spending all that time at the Hospital then you need a break for your own sanity.
If it were me, I would visit and see what the lie of the land is during the morning.
I would visit Daughter and her family for Christmas dinner.
They will not be expecting you to be the life and soul of the party with what is going on.
Then go and spend the evening with your lady.

As for the Christmas grub at the RBH...I don't know who told you it was Michelin standard...(unless of course they meant it all tastes like remoulds)
It fills in a hole in the same way that cement does.
Hope that things turn a corner for you soon Gerard.
 
Trying to do what's best for all in these circumstances (and don't forget - what's best for you, too) is a bit tricky but some good suggestions have been made.

My suggestion, for what it's worth, is that you are with your wife in the morning, then organise a visit to her from your daughter and most importantly your grandkids to really brighten her day. By then I would think she will be feeling tired and needing a sleep, so that's when you can go to your daughter's and see what the bearded man has brought the kids. Share the Christmas with them, play with them for a little while and then spend the rest of the day with your wife again. That way you have split yourself up as best you can - and given a bit of yourself to everyone, but most of you to your wife.

I do hope your wife recovers well and that 2018 is a good year for you.
 
Margaret Pilkington said:
I am so sorry to hear that your wife is poorly and will be in the big house on the hill over Christmas.
My thoughts are much the same as those already expressed.
If you are spending all that time at the Hospital then you need a break for your own sanity.
If it were me, I would visit and see what the lie of the land is during the morning.
I would visit Daughter and her family for Christmas dinner.
They will not be expecting you to be the life and soul of the party with what is going on.
Then go and spend the evening with your lady.

As for the Christmas grub at the RBH...I don't know who told you it was Michelin standard...(unless of course they meant it all tastes like remoulds)
It fills in a hole in the same way that cement does.
Hope that things turn a corner for you soon Gerard.
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Thank you, Margaret, the Michelin bit was meant to be 'tongue in cheek', but, whether 'greasy spoon', Mcd's, KFC, or whatever, I would rather eat that with Yvonne,than anything that could be conjured up from Northecote, or any other 5 star establishment in the area!

Love the 'remoulds/Michelin' joke, obviously one from your time in the NHS!

I know my d'tr & s'i'l will not expect me to be l&s, but, g.kids are 13 & 10, they don't understand the same.

Can only look forward now, & hope Yvonne home in time for NY eve!

Gerard
 
dotti34 said:
Trying to do what's best for all in these circumstances (and don't forget - what's best for you, too) is a bit tricky but some good suggestions have been made.

My suggestion, for what it's worth, is that you are with your wife in the morning, then organise a visit to her from your daughter and most importantly your grandkids to really brighten her day. By then I would think she will be feeling tired and needing a sleep, so that's when you can go to your daughter's and see what the bearded man has brought the kids. Share the Christmas with them, play with them for a little while and then spend the rest of the day with your wife again. That way you have split yourself up as best you can - and given a bit of yourself to everyone, but most of you to your wife.

I do hope your wife recovers well and that 2018 is a good year for you.
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Thank you, Dotti, really appreciate your comments & suggestions, from you & others, will take them all onboard, & hope that I can get through the day without upsetting one or the other!

Thanks again to all!
Gerard
 
You are welcome Gerard.
Yes, the food Up there is not the best.
The grand children at 13 and 10 ARE old enough to grasp the basics of what is going on and are probably(secretly) worried and upset.
Another option for you all to perhaps consider is postponing YOUR celebration of Christmas...and perhaps doing a Christmas style meal once Yvonne is back home and things are more settled.

As for hospital entertainment at Christmas...that has to be a laugh of similar proportions to the Michelin grub joke.

Carol singers used to come round at some ungodly hour, but the only other entertainment might be some confused elderly person getting out of bed and showing a bare bum to the world.
Pay TV would be the only other bet...expensive too
 
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