Why do parents do that??

cherokee

cherokee

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My daughter asked yesterday if her mate could stay over tonight and of course I said yes. So in they come tonight and have a girly night having fun and enjoying themselves when all of a sudden at 11.15pm the lass gets a phone call from her mam who incidently is having row with stepdad whos kicking off about her not being home and her stepdad is on his way to get her.:mad:
So my daughters mate rings her stepdad who then tells her to meet at spar...:mad: By which time im really not happy.. Not only have parents come home from pub pi**ed but they are bringing a 15 yr old into argument and expecting her to walk 5 mins down the road at 11 .15pm.
I then get on the phone to stepdad and A.. asked if hed had a drink .. he says no. ok hes driving and B ... asked if she could stay .. he says no ive got to take her home.. I then insisted that he come to the house to pick her up as I wasnt prepared to make her walk down the road for no one.
I havent met her mum yet but when i do i will be having sober words with her . I think its disgusting that parents allow kids to stay out only to go pub and then come home and bring a child into an argument then expect to get them up and bring them home ..
sorry gripe over ..
 
when you have your chat with mum, i am guessing that he is a control freak, and mum will probably be as unhappy about it as you are, legally by the way, he cant force his stepdaughter to go home at 15.
 
Thats terrible Mel, unfortunately it seems (from my experience) that the control freaks always get their own way and its everyone else that suffers-usually in silence.
I left home at 16 because i was in a similar situation.......controlling step-dad and my mum wouldn't do anything about it (obviously it goes further than that).
Lets hope this situation gets sorted because its really frustrating for everyone.
Control freaks think only of themselves and people need to fight back.Easier said than done,i know.
 
My daughter had a friend who came with us once on an afternoon out. Her Mum knew where she was and what time we would be back, roughly depending on traffic. The Mum's boyfriend meanwhile turned up and decided he was taking them all out for the evening. Of course we were unaware of this and as we arrived back a little earlier than we'd originally said we called in at the chip shop down the road as the girls were hungry and hadn't eaten since lunchtime. (yes Blazey I know chips are fattening. :D This was about 7 years ago - I don't often eat chips!) The boyfriend who had no doubt been getting steamed up about one of the family being missing when HE wanted to do something, spotted our car parked outside the chippy and came racing down shouting and bawling about people who take children away from their families when the families have plans and then can't be relied on to bring them back! He grabbed hold of the poor girl by the hair and dragged her out of the car then shoved her up the road, repeatedly thumping and pushing her all the way back to their house! The Mum was obviously not happy as her daughter wasn't even late home by the originally agreed time, but she didn't argue with the boyfriend. She just stood by and let him rant and rave!
 
Oh Willow, that story made me weep ... poor kid... bet she didn't enjoy her evening out at all after that.

Sounds very similar to Cherokees story, doesn't it ? Hate control freaks, they always pick on the weaker ones; is some sort of mental illness I reckon.. :(

How brave of you Miss Kitty to get away from that situation, and at such a young age.
 
I’d be tempted to report the parents for mental abuse. The only trouble is that I would worry as to whether I made things worse for the child. You can imagine the backlash she might get the next time the parents got drunk. :(
 
Oh willow reading that almost makes me wish I should have kept the lass here now. Just to think that it could have been like that makes me cringe.
However my daughter has spoken to her mate this morning and it turns out she has been grounded for back chatting so it sounds to me like the lass has tried to fight her corner and got herself in more trouble.
Im still angry at the fact that she was given permission to stay out and then dragged home esp at that time of night, they were in bed. Sorry but her mam should have put her foot down, But then again im only going off what I would do:mad: Dont suppose its that easy in that situation. I even told my daughter that we couldnt get involved.
 
It's all out of order, (yould think the parents would be grateful for a night off lol, I know I would), but to treat the lass like that was terrible,
 
THAT IS AWFUL! I can't belive someone would do that!!! If that was my mum, I certainly wouldn't be coming home!
 
What a shame bet the girl was well embarassed. As for her being grounded for back chatting what did they expect? Not only have they gone back on their word they have shown the poor girl up, just can't understand women who stay with men like that.
 
if i had a man other than the father of my kids i woundt let him take control of my kids, i dont care how long we have been together, they are my kids not his
 
Yolanda25 said:
if i had a man other than the father of my kids i woundt let him take control of my kids, i dont care how long we have been together, they are my kids not his
Click to expand...


Many of todays families have a situation where one of the parents is not the natural one. That would be an impossible situation for many households if the step-parent had no authority of the kids
 
lancsdave said:
Many of todays families have a situation where one of the parents is not the natural one. That would be an impossible situation for many households if the step-parent had no authority of the kids
Click to expand...

I agree with Lancsdave on this, however, can understand Yolanda's thoughts. These step-fathers being discussed are in the minority and extreme cases of 'cruel' control. You have to let step fathers have control over your children, otherwise, you get into the situation where a child will state "You are not my real father, so not taking any notice of you, etc". The mother has to be united with her partner on this too, and the children's paternal father.
 
Yolanda25 said:
if i had a man other than the father of my kids i woundt let him take control of my kids, i dont care how long we have been together, they are my kids not his
Click to expand...

You best staying with the man you currently have then yolanda, because this philosophy is not grounds for a solid relationship with any future partner, I have step children, and would not stay if my partner did not allow some say in the childrens welfare. thier paternal father is not known to them as he doesnt give a monkeys, they see me as 'dad', so why should I not have a say in how they behave, dress, eat, learn etc?
 
I have 2 step parent and have lived with both of them.. They need to have some say in what the children do and like all parents, need to be in agreement in how the children are cared for.. i can say that my step mum still treats me like a daughter even though she hasnt been with my dad for 7 years. If the step parents arent a allowed a say then what happens when other children come along? the step children will be treated differently and may be left feeling outside of the family. My step mother has never made me feel like that and i know she loves me just as much as she would if she was my real mum.
 
Yolanda25 said:
if i had a man other than the father of my kids i woundt let him take control of my kids, i dont care how long we have been together, they are my kids not his
Click to expand...

Dont quite agree with that one sorry. If I had a man living with me who was treating my kids as his own in that sense then I would accept him having some authority over them. Not to the point of the man in the main topic of the thread but I would not have any issues with him asking / telling them what to do, telling them off when there naughty etc
 
Thank you to whoever deducted karma from me for my post in this thread "for trying to stir up trouble" I DID NOT START THE THREAD.

One minute I'm agreeing with Emamum that AccyWeb is a great place and then I look at that and I wonder why I bother.

Whoever you are, and you haven't got the guts to sign it, DID YOU DEDUCT KARMA FROM THE OPENING POST OR ONLY MINE?

Yep, I thought I was sick of this place and this reminds me why.
 
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