Especially when they approach you uninvited!
So there I was having a smoke break outside a pub where I was approached by some chap that at first I thought was about to try and scrounge a fag. However After introducing himself as my 'mate' (a complete stranger calling me mate is a sure way to ensure they get a cold reception), he went on to ask if I would like to buy some cheap tobacco. It being a Thursday I try my best not to swear at strangers so I informed him politely that I had no interest in his merchandise as I only smoke filter tipped.
This did not stop his sales pitch, he informed me he had packs of two hundred pucker fags. I could tell he was going to be hard to get rid of and having finished my smoke I wanted to return to my pint.
Desperate times call for desperate measures so I decided to lie.
"I'm sorry
mate, but my works contract forbids me from buying tobacco products from anywhere except legal establishments, I would get the sack".
'Wow' said he, 'what sort of employer puts such restrictions on it's workers?'
I replied in a low whisper as if confiding a tremendous secret, 'Customs and Excise'.
I have never seen two carrier bags and their owner disappear from view at such a great speed from a standing start, hopefully when I go out today and stand in the same place I will only have to put up with our local beggars!
