For the last month I have been having problems with cigarette lighters, whenever I pause from the key board to light up I reach to my usual place and either.
1/ My fag lighter has disappeared, (no it's not the budgie knicking them I've checked his cage).
2/ The flint or the gas has run out.
3/ the flint, flints (you know does that sparky thing) the lighter being clear plastic shows that there is enough gas to cause panic on board the Hindenburg but still it won't light!
I mentioned this problem to Mick while we were in the stag,
"Er Mick can you Give me a light? Oh, and while your reaching into your pocket for your lighter you may as well get your baccy out and roll me a fag, in fact pass the baccy over I'll roll my own while you get the beer in Cheers!"
When Mick got back from the bar he told me that he knew a place in town that sold lighters 12 for a pound he said he'd get some for me next time he went out.
Sure enough the following day Mick turns up with a poly' bag full of lighters, I must confess though I haven't even used one of them, since going home that day everywhere I look there is a lighter, it's magic the lighter fairy has gone into full production, it's getting to the state were I'm frightened to open a cupboard because I know that yet another lighter that I haven't seen in years is going to pounce on me! I'm even finding them in the fridge (It was just lying there on the shelf behing that shrivelled mouldy thing that came with the fridge, you know that thing that is now so mis-shapen that even a DNA test would not reveal what it is!).
But let me tell you, that packet of twelve brand new lighters has pride of place on my mantel piece because I know that as soon as I think that I have more lighters than any-one will need in one life time, those damn fairies will be back and pi**ing themselves watching me in the very near future as I search desperately for something to light my fag.
