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Fact The Website for MI5, (yes our secret service actually does have a website you can view it here if you don’t believe me), announced that from the 1st of August 2006 they would have a new terrorist-o-meter on their web pages. This would let us know when it's safe to go onto the streets.

Fact Within days of this happening our security forces uncovered a plot to destroy thousands of lives by blowing up airliners, (this caused the terrorist-o-meter to go up from serious to critical).

Fact Within hours after this disruption, airports were gridlocked, security checks stepped up and the only hand luggage to be taken on board in clear polythene bags.

Conspiracy theory number One There was no terrorist plot it was just a web master somewhere trying to prove that all the money invested in work he had put in to the terrorist-o-meter was worth spending.

Conspiracy theory number Two There was a terrorist plot but using liquid chemicals to blow up the ‘planes was a bluff, they had already sold the airports the plastic explosives disguised as cheap clear polythene bags so that innocent passengers could smuggle the explosives on board for them. This must be true because otherwise where would the airports have got so many bags from at such short notice?
(Whatever you do don’t squeeze the handles too hard that’s where the detonators are hidden).

If either of the above conspiracy's is of interest to you then please copy and paste them to any other site you like, but will you please ensure that any royalties for the above stories comes to me.