[Phil Whalley]

It’s been an historic season with a happy ending – but I really hope that we don’t treat Saturday’s game as a dead rubber, because if there is one team that history tells us to send packing, it is Milton Keynes. There's nothing wrong with aspiring to a place in the Football League, but there is an established way of going about it. This bunch of shysters decided that the rules didn’t apply to them and set about blagging and bribing their way into the Football League. The real disgrace, of course, was that the League let them get away with it, and at the expense of a club who had made it to the Football League in the honourable way. So there’s an even more glorious manner in which to end the season than sending Ince and his cloggers on their way, and that’s to deny this lot any chance of automatic promotion and to put a smile on the faces of those fantastic people at AFC Wimbledon (keep an eye on the Dons, in the Ryman play-offs now, success would leave them just two promotions from a return to the Football League).

Two problems with the above scenario – we don’t get to go to Swindon next year (where the locals were great company and the beer was glorious) and we instead face the dirty possibility of two more meetings with Milton Keynes, where the concept of decent beer is only marginally more abstract than that of integrity in the board room.

For the real alers among us, there are a couple of Lloyds/Wetherspoons on Midsummer Boulevard in the centre of town. The Secklow Hundred is at no.171 (MK9 1EB) and the Wetherspoons at no.201 (MK9 1EA). However, neither have picked up glowing reports, with some suggesting that drinking in the cheap central places as a visiting fan can be asking for trouble. Don’t be deceived by these London satellite towns – property prices might be high but IQ levels do not necessarily reciprocate – so please take care if you’re out and about in the town centre.

With this in mind, can I suggest that we give the Wetherspoons a miss and go to a village about a mile north out of town called Bradwell (not to be confused with Bradwell Common slightly to the east). There are a couple of smaller boozers in Bradwell that have a much better reputation. For beer, go to the Victoria Inn on Vicarage Road (MK13 9AQ). Keeping it royal, the Prince Albert across the road (MK13 9AG) has a more modest selection of real ale but apparently a very good menu. I’m not 100% that they serve food on a Saturday dinner, but my guess is that they probably do given the reputation they have as a good food pub.

The only other local boozer of any note I can find reference to is The Cannon, on the High Street in Newport Pagnell (MK16 8AQ), which might be a possibility if you’re coming off the M1 at junction 14, though it will take you a mile or two away from the direction of the ground.

My plan is to get to the Prince Albert for around 12.15, have a bite, and then dig in at the Victoria until its time to leave for the game. As always, the more the merrier.

Phil