[Mick]

1lb of diced or chicken fillets
fresh ground salt and black pepper
120g plain flour
1 pinch salt
2 eggs
210ml milk
90ml/3fl oz water
1 tbsp sunflower oil

1. Mix the flour and salt together in a large bowl.
2. Make a well in the centre and crack in the eggs.
3. In a separate bowl mix together the milk and the water.
4. Beat the eggs into the flour with a wooden spoon and gradually beat in the milk and water mixture to get a smooth liquid the consistency of single cream.
5. put the chicken in a food processor and blitz for a few seconds
6. put some flour on hands to stop chicken sticking to fingers
7. take chicken out and form into nugget size pieces
8. place in some flour then in the batter
9. walk over to cooker dribbling batter all over the floor
10. put chicken in a medium hot frying pan
11. go back to step 9 and repeat making sure you dribble more batter over worktop floor and cooker
12. forget to put more flour on hands so chicken and bits of batter now stick to fingers
13. go to step 9
14. with sticky fingers wipe them on fresh towel
15. spill batter all over worktop and down the units onto floor
16. take the now burnt chicken nugget out the hot fat you forgot to turn down and throw in bin
17. go to shop and buy chicken nuggets
18. leave all washing up for wife to clean up including the mess on cooker worktop and floor
19. clean hands on another fresh tea towel go and sit in front of telly until the wife See's the mess then go and hide
20. this was me yesterday