Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

You have a misunderstanding that I have a belief in an almighty, I lean both ways, its called hedging my bets.

As for a womans bits, well I worked from the manual, and after dismantling and re-building it again, I had three screws left over. Plus she wants the ceiling peach.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

A nice reply unfortunately I had left it wide open for you to say, 'satisfied they are never satisfied', that's were the idea of a second coming originates from.
;)

plus it wasn't your idea of God it is that damned theories idea of God I was getting at.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

My woman never says she is not satisfied..........she does however say you can start when you are ready............to that I reply, I finished 10 minutes ago.

Also to be converted on the doorstep would suggest that people are easily talked into things, they could just as easily have got double glazing, praise be the Everest.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Just to get back on message for a moment, the title is "when is the second coming-coming". This would pre-suppose that the first coming had occurred, and you believe it had occurred, otherwise you would have asked when is the first coming. missing out all the double entendres ......or any other French bicycle

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Well I've read some books on the subject - also could say I was a childhood Christian :rolleyes: till I started to question what I'd been taught!

One book I recommend I bought over 10 years ago...

The Jesus Mysteries The Jesus Mysteries - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that there were other

The Jesus Myth - Timothy Freke - YouTube

Fact is; religion is one factor that is keeping people fighting.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Since we are recommending books..... I'll suggest "The god delusion"

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Who's recommending books:confused:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

kes was...

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

you was suggesting I knew a lot about the subject so I informed you what I'd read.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

That explains it, gave over reading his crap a long time ago

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

There is always a Judas somewhere and I guess your it!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

The God Delusion is a brilliant read :)

The Oatmeal isn't my usual form of internet entertainment but I do love this.

How to suck at your religion - The Oatmeal

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

But is it Fact or Fiction? Thats the real question.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

"None fiction" lol

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

:o:o:o:o:o:o

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

No probs this one---He will be back on the 34th June 2081 second time around ( after the next big bang ) so a long time to go yet.....you have to go through the big fold up first....after the comming (First ) Geo Osbourne cock up...OK solved now ??

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It's written by the deluded Richard Dawkins whom many serious atheists find an embarrassment , and I suspect would put the book he writes into the fiction categeory .
Atheists Say Richard Dawkins is an Embarrassment... and Troublesome - YouTube

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

The only book you need to read in order to find out that the Bible is bs is the Bible.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Nah, I remember having to go to church then Sunday school before I could actually read, so some prim and proper vicar or teacher would read passages at me.
I was too young to use or even understand the term BS but even at such a sensitive age, I knew when something didn't smell right.
:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

do you really care?
For those who have no beliefs it doesn't matter...and for those who have faith...well, they have faith...and that is all that is needed.

It is whatever gets you through the night...be it Jesus or Jack Daniels.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Make mine a double, if it's JD shame that I have to pay for it.

If it's JC I'm offered so much more poison than I can use for free!

I know which I'd rather get too much of.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Well.. Its you asked the question. It isn't fiction. Fiction is from the imagination of a person. His books are just interpretations of what he believes to be Facts so therefore it is None Fiction.


Something like that :p (where is the smiley for digging hole)

make mine a Jim Beam

• (red stag)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

And I'll have a mug of hot sweet tea....:)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Oh I am happy with that too.... just as long as it is strong tea :D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Well no Margaret he doesn't really care that's why he started the thread:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

But look at the amount responding, isn't that what forums are about? Someone puts up a point, argument or consideration, then folk get involved, pro,contra, indifferent or just for the sake of it. :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

don't start he'll only bring the drugs thread back up again;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Again that's the lads prerogative, you don't have to respond, no one does, but if you choose to, well, you've only yourself/s to blame when it drones relentlessly on. :rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

don't bother me he's been on my ignore list for 6 months;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I've always found this interesting ... at least, a snack for thought.


The Grand Inquisitor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

By the way, I'll take the Jack ... and maybe a bomber to wash it down;):D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Someone's words recorded in the Bible are : " It is not for you to know the times and dates . "

So what's all the fuss about ?

If you believe in Jesus the answer to the question is that we do not know .

If you do not believe in Jesus the question is irrelevant .

If any claiming to be Christian claim to know the date , then go and tell them to re-read their Bible .

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Thats assuming they have read it in the first place? yeh don't have to read to be Christian.;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Very true , but the biggest culprits in all this "Second Coming" hullabaloo , whatever "Second Coming" means , and it's a term never used in the Bible by the way , are in my experience the members of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society . They knock at the door with Bible in hand and give the impression that they have a good knowledge of the Bible . What the members of this cult have is a good knowledge of certain verses of the Bible , often taken out of context , which fit in with the weird pronouncements that come from their headquarters in Brooklyn .

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Me too....and not teabags either...it has to be 'proper' leaf tea.

Oh, and I like a snack with my tea too!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Usually I use two tea bags. Yeah I like dipping a few biscuits :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

So what you two are basically saying is that, when the second coming does happen you are prepared to put the kettle on and invite him for a brew?

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...PUK8norRlNyPwF

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

As long as he likes tea brewed on the leaves...he can have a brew with me.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I always have a tin of biscuits close at hand myself Rob:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Those wouldn't be Corpus Christi bikkies would they?;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Do you use a strainer jobby? growing up my friend's mum used them and he always forgot to remind me and I almost always choked on them :D

I walk past margaret's street most days(to get to the horrible place that is near by)... invitation not open yet hahah

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

if god creates all things then why did he wait so long to creat NO NAILS glue he could have saved his son a lot of pain

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Anyone ever noticed that the sound of the word Bible is actually; Buy - Bull! Think that is significant somehow! :D:alright:

Another book worth while reading is The Christ Conspiracy by Acharya S

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsaRQDxmLqY

Christianity and the Bible don't explain why millions starve each year - what God would allow that? What God would allow wars etc Evolution does explain why there are too many people on the planet and a system that allows millions to starve.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

No Rob...I don't use a strainer...isn't that why God gave us teeth?

With my life the way it is at the moment, you'd be very lucky to find me in!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Before the time tea bags were invented, 'loose' tea was the only sort.

In war time and just after, the tea contained bits of twig which floated.

I recently read that tea bags are treated with some chemical or other to prevent them breaking up in water. The hot water converts the chemical to become toxic - loose tea looks more like the 'healthier option'.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

If there was a God - don't you think he would have "given the early Christians" tea and biscuits as a catalyst to Good Christian behaviour and charity functions.

Funny I never feel poisoned after a cup of PG tips! ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Loaves and fishes were more nutritious :rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

No Eric, just get one of them once a week, around 11am on a Sunday:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I think water would be the healthiest option for you Margaret, but only after boiling it first to be on the safe side:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Unless of course you are muslim- then you believe that Jesus wasn't gods son and that he was never was crucified- he ascended to heaven and is set to return to rule for 40 years at some point.... hmm (something like that)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I heard once that the moon was made of cheese :eek: :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Tea Bags Made of Paper: Are They Harmful to Your Health? - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com

"Many tea bags made of paper are manufactured with a chemical known as epichlorohydrin, a compound used in the manufacture of plastics and used as an insecticide. When this chemical comes into contact with water it forms a chemical called 3-MCPD, a known cancer causing agent."

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

jesus never did perform the miracle of walking on water after his crucifixion which i think would have been more impressive to do with holes in his feet

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

We're all doomed, I tell you! We're all doomed(well, all except MargaretR).

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

If you step of the kerb without looking you could also do some serios damage to your health too:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Me too. And I remember a poem that my gran used to quote:

If all the world were apple pie,
And all the sea were ink,
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
What should we have to drink?

According to Marg P., a few posts ago, Jack Daniels is always an option. Beats the hell outa tea, loose or bagged.:alright:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

dynamo walked on water - Mythbusted!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Opened a bottle on Saturday Eric:alright:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

And there's still some left? Get it drunk, what are you waiting for, the second coming?

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

No Saturday Night:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

One of my brothers, older than me, at University talked down his lecturer, (it was just before the moon landing).

The Lecturer was telling them what the moon was made of, my brother interjected that although he was inclined to believe what this guy said, until someone landed on the moon and could prove what it was made of, it may well be made of cheese.
A few days later (So far as everyone except mags believes), they landed on the moon found it wasn't made of cheese and both my brother and his lecturer were happy with the result.

Therefore like doubting Thomas, I won't give religion too much thought until Christ appears and tells me in some smug fashion,


"I told you so"!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Although not to my tastes, at least it's a spirit that's real. :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

In the book she shows that she does not know the difference between the teaching of the Immaculate Conception and the teaching of the Virgin Birth of Jesus .

One would expect something better from someone with a Bachelor of Liberal Arts degree in Classics , Greek Civilization .

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

As the moon cropped up ... there is some excellent Tennessee whiskey ... I think it's called "Shine".:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

if some scruffy urchin with a beard approaches you in accy claiming to be jesus its more than likely a smack head from maundy so be sure to double check ;)

Re: Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Or if he is spinning around with a phone in the air it's very likely me :p

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Shine on me:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Its always handy when you know just what your looking for when your looking for AccyWebbers:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Please elucidate! :confused: It's about 10 years since I read it. :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

That depends who's made the loaves and where the fishes where fished from? I.e. a oil slick! ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Haven't you ever had sardines/pilchards/mackerel in oil?
(ewww, the thought of it makes me gag)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It's like I said . In the book it shows that she does not know the difference between the teaching on the Immaculate Conception and the teaching on the Virgin Birth of Jesus . How do you understand these teachings after reading D.M. Murdock's (aka Acharya S ) book ?

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

To me anyone that buys the "Immaculate Conception" story, is dafter n me n that does take some achieving.:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

What about the one "A supernatural being gave a chunk of the Middle Eastern desert to the being's favourite group of people, as their home forever"
Or
Men who scrifice their lives in battle for the religion will be carried to a heaven populated by beautiful virgin women.
Or
On a hilltop in Western New York state the Angel Moroni appeared to a man named Joseph Smith and revealed to him buried golden plates awaiting translation a lost book of the bible.

My real favourite is the belief by the Azande of the Congo.
To determine whether a person accused of adultery is guilty force feed a poisonous paste to a chicken. If the chicken does not die that means the accused is innocent.

http://faculty.washington.edu/stevehar/Witchcraft.pdf

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

So what did they do to the accused if chicken died?:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

The Azande socio-political system is an intricate admixture of feudalism, traditional, political and administrative authority and witchcraft, charm, etc. After the destruction of their kingdom, the Azande now have chiefs, mostly from the royal clan who combine judicial and spiritual prowess.
The chief invokes witchcraft and oracles, for which the Azande are renowned, to determine and administer justice on those suspected of crimes including adultery, murder through bewitching or evil eyes. In the old days, thieves had their ears cut off and their backs scored with a knife leaving large permanent scars.
Another punishment was to break open an ant-hill and tie the offender on the top of it, intense pain being caused by the armies of soldier ants that would swarm over him. Men suspected of witchcraft, and also occasionally thieves, might be confined in their house and burnt alive. Men accused of committing adultery, especially with their Chiefs’ wives, if not killed outright were emasculated and in addition had their hands, ears and lips cut off.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Cashy it is about faith....and faith is the acceptance of something you cannot see or seems to be illogical.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It's also about thinking for yourself and not believing in hell and damnation just because it was drummed into you at an early age.
If I'm wrong and there is a God, he's a bit of a mean bastard if he sends me to hell after giving me free will!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I tried that one on the Father-in-law many years ago, he didn't buy it either:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

if only they had jeremy kyle back then this imaculate conception could have been cleared up within an hour and had time to spare to deal with who stole my donkey stories or lie detectors to see if there really was room at the inn :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

hang on this god chap is a bit of a slutt if you ask me.He knew mary was with joseph yet still impregnated her with his child

what a man whore lol

even worse is mary wasnt aware she wa simpregnated so is this the first recorded rape incident ?

lol that wouldnt look good in the bible would it with john the baptist and god the rapist

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

“Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.”
― George Carlin

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Oil slicks 2000 years ago??

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

You are in good company , Cashman . ;)

Saint Thomas Aquinas , regarded by many as the greatest of all Christian theologians and philosophers ,and within the Catholic Church one of the small number to be classed as a Doctor , Teacher of the Church , did not believe in the teaching of the Immaculate Conception

He did , however , believe in the teaching of the Virgin Birth of Jesus , which is a different matter altogether .

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Wish someone could explain to me,what or how can yeh have a "Virgin Birth"?:confused:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It is possible using artificial insemination.
Even a DIY method can work using a 'turkey baster'.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Parthenogenesis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cue MargaretR and her David Icke book of famous lizard people ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

What makes me smile more than anything is this thing that Muslim martyrs believe, that killing themselves in the name of Allah, the reward is 72 virgins and Rivers of honey, that should tell any would be candidates its a bit of a misnomer especially the 72 virgins bit:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Aye i know,but thousands of years ago,reckon that would be a non-starter.;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Using 'David Icke' as a means to ridicule is a bit outdated.

Even Wogan has apologised
:rolleyes:
David icke on Wogan Now and then. - YouTube

Some of his views may appear extreme to some, but who are you to say that all he says is ridiculous. He was the only one who openly outed Savile years ago, which was 'incredible' then.

More people are realising that much of what he says has worth, or he wouldn't be able to fill Wembley area like he did last autumn.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

If that's the case I'm up for conversion . :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Yeh would be behind me, i can push in if necessary.:D;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Was just a bit of gentle fun...but since you opened the can..

Wogan (who himself is a lightweight 'luvvie' interviewer and really should be taken with a pinch of salt), apologised for publicly taking the mick, not for disbelieving him.

Hitler filled halls and stadia, so did Take That, the Spice Girls and Justin Bieber are you seriously trying to argue that because someone can fill a stadium it means they have something worthwhile to say? :eek:

He's charismatic and knows how to work an audience..this does not mean that he has anything worthwhile to say, it just means that he knows how to get applause and the occasional cheer...then again so can an average comedian at a dingy working mens club on a saturday night.

Who am I to say....I'm a free thinker who uses logic and rationality, as opposed to the muppets and sheep who blindly hang on to his every word...which is kinda ironic since he himself claims anyone who doesn't agree with him are sheep following the populist ideals.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I can only assume that gents who prefer virgins are the ones whose technique is so abysmal that they do not want to be compared unfavourably with others who 'came' (sorry - pun :rolleyes:) before them.

There is a trend amongst younger men to prefer older women (cougars) who can teach them the ropes.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I prefer one that's well used, you don't have to 'push in' as hard.
;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

There are a lot of naïve people in and around the conspiracy theory brigade, but ha ho, so long as they keep there thoughts and ideas within the law, stops um getting bored I suppose :rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Ah but i didn't say i prefer em, but i do like the novelty which around here it certainly is.:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/lol-045.gif http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/lol-045.gifhttp://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/lol-045.gif

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Weii, After watching the Wigan clip of David Icke I think I'm now a Belieber !!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Sorry, slip of the hand, should be Wogan. Damned predictive text again.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Think you'll find that it's more a case of gullibility than rope handling, knowing their looks are fading some older women will buy the BS spouted by some young lothario if only to feel needed & wanted, were as to our mattress matador it's just another one to boast about in the Pub.