When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

When is the 2nd Coming of Christ coming? I thought it was supposed to be year 2000? But it hasn't happened - is it going to happen if so when? If not will once and for all Christians stop believing in the Bible?

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

of course the answer is.......

never

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

To you it's of course - never - but not to the Christians!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Give me a couple of minutes then we can perhaps try again, you got me over-excited at the first time I came!
:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

If were are being pedantic -- Lets not leave out other religious people and what they believe...

Muslims for an example also believe that he will return

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

He'd make us all happy if he didn't come on here at all:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Don't get drawn in, treat him like the bored/boring poster he really is.

All he wants is reaction.
:)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I thought he was already here....working in the Kebab Shop with Elvis, you know the place, it's next to the Mini Cab firm that employ Lord Lucan

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Who doesn't want a reaction it's why we post isn't it to get feedback?

Idiot :jimbo: it's not about being drawn in this is a genuine question! Surely if Jesus doesn't come back by a specific time then it's proof that the bible is baloney and the guarantee is proven - null and void - except God won't be giving out refunds!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

If Jesus isn't coming back why are they all still flocking to see the new pope and why are the bible bashers in the USA banging on about this and that and so on - :( Why do they carry on believing something that doesn't exist?

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Then again he can only comeback, if he was here in first place.:confused:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Where are you on the Spectrum Of Theistic Probability?

1. Strong theist. 100 per cent probability of God. In the words of C.G. Jung: "I do not believe, I know."
2. De facto theist. Very high probability but short of 100 per cent. "I don't know for certain, but I strongly believe in God and live my life on the assumption that he is there."
3. Leaning towards theism. Higher than 50 per cent but not very high. "I am very uncertain, but I am inclined to believe in God."
4. Completely impartial. Exactly 50 per cent. "God's existence and non-existence are exactly equiprobable."
5. Leaning towards atheism. Lower than 50 per cent but not very low. "I do not know whether God exists but I'm inclined to be skeptical."
6. De facto atheist. Very low probability, but short of zero. "I don't know for certain but I think God is very improbable, and I live my life on the assumption that he is not there."
7. Strong atheist. "I know there is no God, with the same conviction as Jung knows there is one."

I would say I am around the 6. Perhaps a 5.8

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Na never heard of a date either BG, but this guy has to provoke controversy, its the only reason he comes on here in the first place, thank god its not often these days

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Restlessamte, 4.5 to 5, i think

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I had two preachers on my doorstep yesterday-I always am quite abrupt with them, which isn't like me at all-whatever they believe I don't think trying to shove that down other people's throats is right -it's not as if non-believers are doing them any harm so being disturbed from whatever I am doing so they can try to convert me is annoying.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I used to hate it when they dragged me to the door, they still knock even though I had a sign on the door saying my Alsatian loves Jehovah's Witnesses, but he can't eat a full one. These days I don't have to bother going to the door, I've an intercom system and I can tell um to sod off from the comfort of my chair:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Can't see it happening any-time soon if at all, it's this whole "Virgin" thing. Their timetable is shocking & as to the prices! Ol' Beardy Branson has got some explaining to do! :s_aim1:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I needs me one of those! :D
I do too, I think it's really rude to disturb someone in their home to try to inflict your beliefs.
Love the sign lol- I should have invited them in-we're doing the house up at the moment and there's so much junk and rubble hanging around it looks like a crackden-and himself likes 'Gothic Memorabilia' should I say swords and knives would probably give them a good impression :D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Mrs P tells me the AA have been knocking on doors up here in Clayton trying to sell breakdown cover. (true) For a moment when she mentioned it I thought the men in white coats had come about my drinking ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

When they come a knocking it's quite simple you say,

"Oh hello are you the Morons or the other lot ? Never mind, the agency did tell you to bring old clothes & aprons didn't they, these sacrificial slaughters can get pretty messy & you wouldn't believe the problems we have trying to find virgins round here so we usually have to make do with one of the old dears from the home instead." ;)

Funny they don't want to hang about.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Was n old Priest at St Josephs when i was in me teens n older (Father Rimmer) He told me this when i went fer wedding instruction, He said, i was talking to these Jehovas Witnesses this afternoon fer oer 1 hour, n after they had just left, a elderly woman approached me going nuts cos i was listening too em, I said listen i woulda talked fer even longer,if they hadn't give up, Whilst they were talking to me, They converted no-one.:D:D:D:D:D Cracked me up big time.:alright:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Last time I had bible thumpers at my door,

I said 'You can't sell religion here'

She said 'We're not selling anything'

I said 'You can't give it away here either'

...and shut the door.

I sleep a lot in the daytime, and got really peed off by hawkers etc so I got a custom made type of Do not Disturb sign made for me on Ebay. It says 'I NEED TO BE ALONE BUT WILL TAKE IN PARCELS'.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Lol morons I like that one. My cousin is a Mormon. I was upset when he converted, if I'm honest.

Good one-I might invite them in next time and just pretend to listen for a couple of hours whilst going about whatever I was doing before.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I'm often asleep or resting during the day too so unless I've invited someone or am expecting a delivery it's especially irritating to have people knocking on the door, disturbing me and winding the dog up lol
When I answered the door they said 'Oh sorry is it not convenient'..
I'm not sure why they said that-maybe they say it to everybody.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

fantastic- What every home needs

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

The wolf was sniffing about behind me when I opened the door lol I should have told them she's not a fan of their god so they have to go

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Project Bluebeam has plans to project the image of the 'second coming' in the sky.

Project Bluebeam - A Holographic Rapture and the Prophet Hologram 1/2 - YouTube

Project Blue Beam

Now you are aware that such deception is possible - you won't be duped.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Bet that had the lace curtains twitching! ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Nailing my colours to the mast here and saying that I'm a believer. I'm not a door knocker and hate it when the Jovies or LDS knock on my door too. The stuff they believe makes some of the Old Testament tales seem positively mundane. There's quite a lot of historical evidence for a Jesus figure living sometime between 9BC and 30ish AD and probably even more circumstantial evidence. Whether he was the Christ is less easy to prove and everyone must make up their own minds on that one. The problem with resenting people trying to convert others to Christianity is that it's part of the faith. I don't think that anyone ever got converted by being screamed or shouted at in the street (people do this in Leeds every blinkin Saturday) but the folk doing the screaming really do believe that they are doing it for the good of those in earshot. I'm a very poor Christian in this respect and will offer my opinion but will not go out of my way to persuade others that I'm right. I look upon it as being like having found a really good restaurant where the food is free, the wine is great and the waitresses are gorgeous. I recommend it but am not going to drag people out of KFC if that's really what they prefer.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Sure is Rob, didn't realise just how handy it could be until after the disciples of the lord god Jehovah paid their first visit:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I never was before that Margaret;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Just wondering. Since this is a Question that cannot be Answered should it really be in the Q&A section ? :p

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Nah but we aint got n Aesops Fables section, so this will have to do.:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

had to google Aesops.... nice reply :D k award!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Yeh that too - but if you think about it clearly Jesus worship is basically sun-worship except the sun has been turned into a man = a personification of the sun! The main festivals such as Easter and Christmas are linked to the sun and Pagan festivals, the Sun is reborn at Christmas which is his supposed birthday and starts to increase in light after dying.:hothothot

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Only for those that want to believe, for myself and many others, they are bank holidays.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Was that with a 2 bob hooker:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

There are some that worship the sun... try telling them that the sun is really jesus.....

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Ya David Dickinson is a sun worshiper, or is that a sunbed worshiper :rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

i was forced to be a christian against my will when i was a baby so as an established christian i can confirm the whole lot is bullcrap not just the second coming

hope this answers your question :D

the only second coming that i know to be true is the one after a 5 min rest and a fag break or these days a e-cig break

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Dreaming again accyman:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Don't worry Jay, I don't think he was flirting with you, you won't be subjected to a fag break!
:eek:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Just a slight interjection with regard to the bible. At the start of the thread the bible was held up to be the word of god, it is far from that, it is in fact comprised of contributions from 40 authors.

The bible came into existence when the council of Nicaea set about compiling gospels to unite the Christians with a single book. Emperor Constantine (274-337) (emperor from 306-337) ordered it to search out and include all the gospels that supported and professed to be the word of god. Its interesting that the gospel according to Judas wasn't included.

So the bible is 66 gospels by 40 authors, compiled and turned into one book in the year 325 ad, that is 325 years after the man called Jesus was walking the earth. So it is not the word of god, but the word of 40 people who wrote gospels over a period of 1500 years, hence the old and new testaments.

I write this not to say definitively whether god exists or not, just to correct the statement that the bible is the word of god, and if people knock on your door saying it is, then they are starting with a lie.

Right thats all I can manage for now, all this serious stuff gives me a bout of giddiness

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Was Bob Dobson one of those 40?:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I doubt it. Bob wouldn't be interested unless God was born in Accrington.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

fantastic post. Never known

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Its handy to know when you get an Evangelist knocking on the door, incidentally it is a personal record that I have never stopped talking to a Jehovah's Mormon at the door, they have always said they must get on and made their excuses and left.

A question they wont or can't answer, when they say, in the beginning there was nothing, and god made the heaven and the earth. Well who made god ?

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It would be even handier if i could remember it all.:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Print the thread out and stick it on the back of the front door.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

This thread could become a classic,

Or heresy

You never know :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Uuhhmm, Myleene Klass & Kym Marsh :s_aim1:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

First dibs on Myleene.:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Another un thats not fussy.:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

And just in case Michelle Keegan comes available, put me down for her as well.:)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I'd not climb over her to get to you. ;) :D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

The stuff we were taught about the bible, when you look into it, turns out not to be true, or the subject of the many translation errors from Hebrew, Aramaic, ancient Greek, Greek new testament and King James translation.

Just a few things to ponder over as I am going off line shortly.

Jesus was not actually called Jesus, he was called Yeshua (Hebrew) which translated to Joshua in English.

Jesus was probably not a carpenter, he was described as being a "Tekton", this was the name given to trades in general, and if you think about it wood was a scarce commodity.

We all have a mental visual image of Jesus, yet his description is not stated in the bible. So how have we got the image of a young man with long hair a beard and a kindly face.

my comments are not to disprove the almighty, just to make you think that religious teachings down the years have been massaged to present an image that never existed.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Well of course he wasn't, that was his owd fella. The long haired layabout was a scuzzy student, sloping off first chance he got & was out getting bevvied with his mates, probably studied philosophy / psychology (dabbled a bit in event catering too from rumours) or some such but never finished the course. ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

question I ask my dad and then he asks the rather silly question about the chicken/egg

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

At this stage you usually go and lie down in a dark room Dave:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

If you ask that question then you haven't understood evolution, but that is a whole new thread.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Thats when I get a full head of steam up along with my dander, it hasn't occurred yet on this thread.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

In the churning, bubbling, seething, mass which was the primordial soup of life, the early pondlife ganged up together to produce the first proto-amphibian, who decided that swilling round in your own muck was pretty yucky & as such growing a pair of legs & getting out of the gloop seemed like a damned fine idea.

So it came to be that the first homunculus set foot on solid ground, going forth & meeting other like minded homunculi & thereby forming loose social groups to better advance their cause, proliferate the species, exchange ideas & just generally evolve (all the while staying dry & far from the cess pool that spawned them) .

As with any gathering tales are told & myths exchanged & when asked about origin rather that admit to being the result of pond life getting a life so to speak, an omnipresent & omnipotent super being was credited as being the source of all creation. Thereby early man was learning to pass the buck & inaugurate the rise of the political classes, leaving behind those less inclined to lies & perfidy to become the common folk (which by the way are further sub divided into other groups, but that is a lecture for another day.) ;)


Did this answer help you? :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It wasn't really a question I wanted and answer to, more a thought provoker for those inclined to knock and evangelise on my doorstep, but thanks for the effort.
I have questioned the religious things that are taught and people have accepted without thinking if they are true, or just indoctrinated into. Religion has had over 2000 years to get its story right, but still bases its foundations on information that is not correct, I think lies is not the right word, as a lie is saying something that is not true, whereas repeating what you have been told is true is not directly a lie.
Emperor Constantine, who was Roman, started the foundation for religion and its teachings that are present today, and it is no surprise that the Roman empire did not cease to exist, it merely morphed into the Catholic Church.
But I like the thoery that I started my journey as glob of goo.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

a dog walked past a mirror and thats how god was created :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Yeah, me too, there's something inherently basic, honest & earthy about being a dollop of something unidentifiable. :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

When you think about it that's pretty much how you'll end it as well.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Well yeah, as long as some nuclear rocket owning loony doesn't get there first, because then it'll be more a sort of crispy, crunchy, frazzled experience if not outright vaporization. ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Evolution explains it, but how did the potential for evolution come into place - how did that come about - there are massive gaps in our knowledge about this? Some Christians believed that the earth was created by the Devil and it was the devil who created sex and animals and so on - and the way to get back to god was to thrash yourself on a daily basis.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

For you there are plenty of gaps and very little knowledge!

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Some people feel the need to employ Mistresses like Cynthia Payne or even some of Heidi Fliess's girls to administer beatings

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

If there's ever a day you don't feel up to it give me a shout- I'll gladly help out.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

But I don't believe in god mate - so I don't partake in such activities! :rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Isn't he the one that became a Christian for political reasons as an attempt to unify the Roman empire?
I seem to have read/seen a documentary, his mum was keen on the idea as well, let's get everything under one roof it will be easier to rule that way.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Even worse for thee mate - Jesus Christ actually means Joshua (Yeshua) the annointed one as Christ meant Annointed One! ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It depends how far back you want to go, if you go back far enough you reach a point that starts off with the big bang theory, and an ever expanding universe, at this point the potential for the creation of life started, so we are all made from the dust of stars and the universe.
The search for the Higgs Boson particle was supposed to answer the questions not yet answered. this remains to be seen.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

What makes you think I didn't know or hadn't read an earlier post?

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Aren't there some that reckon that it won't be an ever expanding universe but that it will get to a certain point then collapse in on itself?

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Nah thats Dingles.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

According to the Local catholic priests would result in you being cast into the pits of hell suffering eternal damnation, the wailing & gnashing of teeth amongst the sulphurous gasses fire & brimstone. (Sounds like a Saga weekend outing in Clevelys if you ask me :D)

But according to the Sprout Master (Brownaler or whatever he was called) it would result in hairy palms & bad eyes! :eek: :D

Shaving helps, but I can't be doing with the contact lenses, so gegs it is then! ;)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Yeh but I bet you didn't know that - Jesus was a mushroom!?

Jesus Was a Mushroom - YouTube

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

He could be the fairy on top of a Christmas tree so far as I'm concerned, you really shouldn't think everyone else is as thick as thee.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I watched Prof Brian Cox and he explains quite alot about how evolution works and it makes much more sense than the Christian concept of "A grey haired old man!" sending down his only son (sun) why not a daughter? Which makes Christianity inherantly sexist and biased particularly in the Catholic faith.

One thing that Charles Darwin said swayed him to the theory of evolution as he too was of Christian faith, that why if there was a God would he create such a waste of life and so much life is wasted - but eventually decays and goes back into the system. We are basically just complex animals and when we die - like animals decay and rot - why should we be any different - when it's proven we are made of the same basic substances in DNA - surely we are then are under the same rules as any other forms of life and there is no Afterlife for us and not animals.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It will at some point, however before that happens we will be long gone as our sun will have gone nova by then, the sun has used up half of its energy potential. No need to panic just yet, but the ultimate fate of mankind will be obliteration if we haven't the means to leave our universe.

So remember book early to get the best seats on the spaceship.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

You is as thick as what comes out of pigs! :rolleyes:;) Low on the scale when brain DNA was given out...

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

It can't start with the big bang, there must have been something there to go 'BANG'.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I've got seats booked for the restaurant at the end of the universe.
I can't afford them but by then I won't be worrying about bailiffs.
:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

And pray it ain't run by Ryan Air. :D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

You get in the queue, there's a lot before you for that job, in fact people are actually paying to do it:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Well to say the Thread Starter don't believe in god he certainly knows a lot about the subject, maybe he's just a disgruntled monk who was kicked out for filching the communion wine:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Google, what a marvellous invention, can make even the most brainiacally challenged amongst us appear knowledgeable. :)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I don't believe, but can't avoid watching the documentaries about how religions evolved.

Very interesting history programme's showing for example how closely linked each of the Christian religions are, and take a fair part of their ceremonies from the Jewish faith.
As I say interesting, yes, believable?
Throw another bucket of coal on the fire mother, my bath waters going cold.
Sorry got carried away, I meant primitive.
:)

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I can Less, its call the off switch:rolleyes:

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Even better some get paid to do it. I didn't say it was a free offer.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

With knowledge comes power, because I don't dismiss the documentaries about religion I gain a better knowledge than those that believe but don't think.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

You'll be turning into a Margaret clone next:D

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Well thanks for that, I bet Mick a tenner you couldn't tell bullshine from real bullsheeeite!
:(

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

I did say it "depends how far back you want to go" my knowledge cant go further back than the bang. I will of course entertain other theories.

Re: When is the 2nd Coming - Coming?
 

Well hello other theories, welcome to my pad, if you notice I'm here to entertain you, now, shall we start with your persistent belief that there is a God, or shall we cut to the ultimate question?

'If after a lifetime of searching you finally discover and therefore recognise a woman's clitoris, when you've finished, will she at last be satisfied?'

:eek: