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forceten 11-01-2008 22:59

My Mum
 
I think many of you know now that my mum is seriously ill.

I had to call an ambulance out to her on 8th December as she was unwell, turned out she had a blockage of the bowel for which she had an operation for.

Whilst she was recovering, some low life scum stole her purse from her locker at the side of her in hospital. In her purse, along with a small amout of cash was her bracelets which she had had to take off as she had drips on.......these bracelets were given to her by her late husbund (my stepdad) and can never be replaced.

The day after the purse was stolen Mum had a heart attack, and the day after that a stroke.

She has been in Intensive Care all over christmas and new year, but is now back on a ward.

Her kidneys are now failing, and she is very very poorly.

I go up to see her several times a day and give her her meals as she is now unable to feed herself. Some days she doesn't even know who I am, others she does.

So apololgies if I'm not around as much as I used to be, but things are just getting to me a little at the moment. If I snap at you I don't mean it.

Thanks

harwood red 11-01-2008 23:01

Re: My Mum
 
Really sorry to hear about your mum and don't think I have come across you snapping at any time on here.

I hope she starts to improve soon and the low life scum gets there commupence...karma n all that

take care of yourself too

xxxxxxx

cashman 11-01-2008 23:05

Re: My Mum
 
ya can snap all ya want at me forceten,;) its a terrible time for you, just hope for the best,n hope she recovers.

forceten 11-01-2008 23:07

Re: My Mum
 
Thank you. It's not been an easy time for us as a family but my husbund has been a rock to me. So have my children

cashman 11-01-2008 23:10

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by forceten (Post 515860)
Thank you. It's not been an easy time for us as a family but my husbund has been a rock to me. So have my children

thats good, support is essential in these things, i always try to find a positive in any crap, n 1 is= some aint got support.;)

Bonnyboy 11-01-2008 23:10

Re: My Mum
 
Sorry to hear of your troubles. Snap at me anytime you want, no problem with that at all. The scumbag thief will get what’s coming to him “what goes round comes round”

garinda 11-01-2008 23:13

Re: My Mum
 
I'm so sorry to read about the sad time you're having.

Try and stay strong, and I'm sure your mum does know that you are there, and that you love her.

grannyclaret 11-01-2008 23:13

Re: My Mum
 
I hope the thief gets all they deserve "BASTARD,,",keep your chin up Forceten,,,:(

forceten 11-01-2008 23:14

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnyboy (Post 515864)
Sorry to hear of your troubles. Snap at me anytime you want, no problem with that at all. The scumbag thief will get what’s coming to him “what goes round comes round”

I so hope so!!!! All I got off the police was a crime number!

nikkival 11-01-2008 23:14

Re: My Mum
 
Sorry to hear about your Mum and I hope that her condition improves soon.

The thief will get what they deserve in the grand scheme of things.

Bonnyboy 11-01-2008 23:18

Re: My Mum
 
At the risk of hi-jacking this thread, which I do not want to do, was there not any CCTV in operation or did they have the damned cameras pointed at the car park

WillowTheWhisp 11-01-2008 23:58

Re: My Mum
 
I left a message for you elsewhere about this but just to add again that it's awful anyone can do such a thing. Take care of yourself and don't worry if you get snappy, we'll understand. Hope your Mum improves. You have been going through an awful time :(

shillelagh 12-01-2008 00:11

Re: My Mum
 
Sorry about your mum forceten and if you ever want to shout and scream at someone i'll listen. Hope she gets better soon.

lettie 12-01-2008 07:54

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnyboy (Post 515874)
At the risk of hi-jacking this thread, which I do not want to do, was there not any CCTV in operation or did they have the damned cameras pointed at the car park

What a dreadful thing to happen, I hope the lousy thieving pond life gets what he/she deserves. CCTV is not allowed in ward areas only main areas like ward corridors. This is to protect patient privacy during examinations etc.

derekgas 12-01-2008 08:11

Re: My Mum
 
Very sorry to read this, I hope things improve for you and your mum, but not for the thief!

Wynonie Harris 12-01-2008 08:55

Re: My Mum
 
Really sorry to hear about that, Forceten. Hope the low-life gets what's coming to him/her. Please feel free to snap away if it helps.

Yolanda25 12-01-2008 09:49

Re: My Mum
 
Really sorry to hear that your mum is not well, my mum is not either and its difficult to think what's gonna happen next, i hope she gets better soon as for the thieves, hope they get what they deserve

Margaret Pilkington 12-01-2008 10:25

Re: My Mum
 
Forceten, I am sorry to hear of your Mum's illness. I am sure she knows that you are doing your best for her........and as for the low life who stole from her, well, it has already been said hasn't it?

take care of yourself, and let your family give their support to you.
You are in my thoughts.

mallard 12-01-2008 12:47

Re: My Mum
 
Iam very sorry to here about your mum with the illness i hope she gets well soon,and the scum bag,s that stole of her are the scum of the earth and i hope you find out soon who did it,god bless you all.

firth_dawn 12-01-2008 12:50

Re: My Mum
 
hi forceten, sorry to hear of your mums illness hope she gets better soon. hope they catch the scumbag who stole her belongings and put them in prison for a long time.

howarth 12-01-2008 13:39

Re: My Mum
 
so sorry hun, my mum spent several weeks in icu, its not a very nice place is it, but they know what there doing, they work wounders, just try n keep pososssssssssssstive hun and i do hope your mum is better SOON, As for the b*****d who took your mums purse, will get whats comming to them i assure you, you do take care of your self luv keep us all posted on tyour mums progress xx

howarth 12-01-2008 13:41

Re: My Mum
 
sorry for the spelling mistakes and dogie typing lol

Stanaccy 12-01-2008 13:51

Re: My Mum
 
Best wishes to you and your mother.

I need not say anything about the inhuman git who was responsible for pouring more upset on an already dreadful situation. However, I will. As I have said on earlier threads the whole thing comes down to respect this lowlife obviously just looked at the situation took no concern for the distress that was happening just decided to line their own pocket. I sincerely hope that they get caught and are made to pay for the heartache they have caused.

One word (that has been used previously) SCUM!.

forceten 12-01-2008 15:36

Re: My Mum
 
Thank you all for your good wishes.

Been up to see mum this afternoon, and she has now been moved to a side ward which is much better for her. It means that we can play her favourite cds to her now without disturbing the other patients.

Time for a quick bite to eat now and a brew before I'm going up again for the night time visit

Ber999T 13-01-2008 08:43

Re: My Mum
 
Hope your mum gets well soon and really hope that the scum that stole off your mum get their comeupance soon.

forceten 15-01-2008 15:14

Re: My Mum
 
Quick update

Thank you for all your good wishes, means alot

We nearly lost Mum on Sunday. She is a diabetic as well, and her blood sugars dropped really low..........went down to 1. If it wasn't for the expertise and knowledge of the lovely SHO who is absolutely brilliant with us she wouldn't be here now. He allowed me to stop with her whilst he was treating her and hold her hand. He really is lovely.

Yesterday she was quiet, and today she is just nodding her head when I ask her something, but she has allowed me to put some make up on her after she had her dinner. I put some lipstick and eye make up for her and then gave her a mirror to have a look. Wasn't perfect............it's harder than it looks to put make up on somebody else lol. But mum always wore make up and she looks more like mum to me now.

Mum also approved of my efforts as she smiled at me.

I also got a kiss of her, and with her lipstick on it was more of a kiss from my mum if you know what I mean.

Thanks

FT

cashman 15-01-2008 15:17

Re: My Mum
 
really hope yer mam makes it through this, good luck n best wishes.;)

beechy 15-01-2008 15:29

Re: My Mum
 
snap away forceten
thats what friends are for
hope your mum gets well soon
and dont forget what goes round comes round:cool:

kathleen_firth 15-01-2008 15:53

Re: My Mum
 
hi i dont really know you but i hope your mum is feeling better soon.

forceten 31-01-2008 17:01

Re: My Mum
 
We had a meeting at the hospital yesterday, and we have been told that there is no chance that Mum can ever return to her home. She is simply not fit.

Deep down I suppose I knew that, but to have it spelt out to you is really upsetting.

She has now to go into a nursing home. Not sure how I feel about it to be honest. I know that she wouldn't like it, but the way she is at the moment she doesn't understand.

I always said that I would look after her myself, but this is impossible now with all the complications that she has, and I know that she would be better off in nursing home, as she would be looked after.

Suppose I'm a little numb about it all at the moment

derekgas 31-01-2008 17:10

Re: My Mum
 
That is a shame, you of course know in your heart it is probably the best thing, especially as you wouldn't be able to manage yourself, try not to worry too much, your mum will come round to the idea.

lancscat 31-01-2008 17:11

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by forceten (Post 524773)
We had a meeting at the hospital yesterday, and we have been told that there is no chance that Mum can ever return to her home. She is simply not fit.

Deep down I suppose I knew that, but to have it spelt out to you is really upsetting.

She has now to go into a nursing home. Not sure how I feel about it to be honest. I know that she wouldn't like it, but the way she is at the moment she doesn't understand.

I always said that I would look after her myself, but this is impossible now with all the complications that she has, and I know that she would be better off in nursing home, as she would be looked after.

Suppose I'm a little numb about it all at the moment

chin up,your doing your best.you keep smiling and your mum will keep smiling with you.xx:):):)

shillelagh 31-01-2008 17:26

Re: My Mum
 
sorry about that forceten. It is hard to look after someone when they are ill and probably better for her going into a home - they will look after her and will be there for her 24hrs a day.

harwood red 31-01-2008 18:14

Re: My Mum
 
Look deep inside yourself and ask the question, have you done everything you could for her?? have you been there for her?? Have you visited her at the hospital even though it has put pressure on your everyday life??

From reading your posts I think you can safely answer yes to all of the above...

So for once you will have to concede that you have done everything possible for your mum and you will have to let others do the work...

Be proud for all you have done and continue to do and regardless of where she lives I am sure you will still be there for her, every step of the way

take care xxx

jaysay 01-02-2008 09:47

Re: My Mum
 
Sorry to hear of this latest set back with your Mum forceten, I followed your mums progress with your regular upates on Blakburn 247, I'm sure everything will turn out for the best, at least your mum knows she has some one who really cares for her

grannyclaret 01-02-2008 12:46

Re: My Mum
 
Just try to keep your chin up , as best you can ,,,I hope that thief is happy now,

forceten 29-08-2008 22:23

Re: My Mum
 
I didn't want to start a new thread as I knew that there was one somewhere on here.

I apoligise that I haven't updated it. But I was a member on blackburn 247 and that is where it was updated.

Mum went to a nursing home. They decided a few months down the line that they couldn't cope with her and her needs.

So Mum has now moved to another nursing home. One that is alot better than the one she was previously in.

I can't go into much detail here to be honest as there is probably going to be a legal battle going on.

Social services are on my side, and are bringing the safeguarding of adults into it, it was previously the adult abuse act. So you can appreciate how serious this issue is.

This is for a lady that can do nothing for herself. She can't feed herself, can't speak properly, can't read anymore, is doubly incontinent, can go tachocardic, amongst many other medical problems since she had the stroke. Mum can't walk anymore, and can't even sit in a chair if it's not specailly adapted for her.

But social services are acting for me, and Mum is ok where she is. I say short of her being happy, as I know that she will never be happy until she is home, but that is impossible. I've even offered to have my house adapted and have nurse in, but I have been told no, she needs to be in nursing home where her needs are met.

It's broke my heart all this. And the final straw was what the old nursing home did to my mum and myself whilst my mum was in hospital.........only a full week after I said that there was something wrong with Mum............but hey, who am I?

I'm confident now that I have got the nursing home for mum right. Infact they only rang me last night asking me to go up and sit with her as she was upset and they couldn't settle her. Something that I had told the previous home I was prepared to do, but they never did

I have found out since that they just shut the door on Mum and waited until she stopped crying

Sorry, can't say much more at the moment, it's a legal battle, and one that I will take all the way.

Thanks for reading. I know that i'm rambling

Bonnyboy 29-08-2008 22:36

Re: My Mum
 
Ramble away as much as you want love, not that I see what you have said as being a ramble.

You fight your mothers corner tooth and nail, hope this thread offers a little outlet for your frustrations.

The very best of luck regarding any battles that lie ahead, keep your chin up.

WillowTheWhisp 29-08-2008 22:39

Re: My Mum
 
Oh how awful. I'm so glad to hear she is settled somewhere decent now but what an awful time she must have had and how terrible for you too to know that. How anyone could be so heartless as to just shut the door on her when she was upset is unbelievable. I'm lost for anything else to say at the moment. :(

Lilly 29-08-2008 22:41

Re: My Mum
 
I see what you meant the other day now when you said you wanted justice for your mum. :(

It makes me really sad to hear how some vulnerable people are treated in some homes.

Glad to hear she is in a good home now.

I wish you and your mum the best of luck in your battle for justice.

BERNADETTE 29-08-2008 23:24

Re: My Mum
 
You know my feelings on this, have been with you all the way. As I have said before take care of yourself because where would your Mum be without you battling for her??

jaysay 30-08-2008 09:24

Re: My Mum
 
I've followed forcetens thread about her mother on 247, and I think she is a wonderful carring person who will not be trodden on or allow her mother to be mistreated in any way whatsoever. You keep fighting your mohers corner forceten you deserve all the help you can get, and we can only hope that our kids look after our well being in the way you have with your Mum

mad_eye_moody 30-08-2008 11:30

Re: My Mum
 
iam glad you have found her a home that cares at long last. my mum nursed my nan when she had a termnal illness mum looked after her for about a year in the home untill she got really bad and needed 247 medical care and she had to go into nice home near the ymca in blackburn. keep us updated ft i know i dont really replay that often but i allways read and like to know hows your geting on.

Loz 30-08-2008 11:35

Re: My Mum
 
Glad to hear she is in a better home now.
That is terrible,leaving her to cry and ignoring her,hope karma comes back to bite them in the ass.
My grandad is in a home at the moment and luckily it is a good one and we have peace of mind that he is being well looked after,hope you have the same peace of mind now.

derekgas 30-08-2008 12:04

Re: My Mum
 
You know forceten, the way you have been there for your mum all the way through this is in itself, to take time out of what must be a horrendous brain tormenting schedule to keep us updated is nothing short of admirable, i am very glad you seem as contented as could be expected with your mums current situation, i looked through the thread to see if I could find the name of the home that treated your mum so badly, I dont have relatives in care homes, but think some here may have, and may pm you to find out which home warrants being pointed out so that tohers can avoid it, good luck, and good health go with you god willing!

forceten 30-08-2008 16:10

Re: My Mum
 
I'm sorry I'm not prepared to name the previous home on this thread. That's because I don't want to jeapodise any actions that Social Services may bring against them. But I think at some point it may be made public, such as the papers, as I would hate anybody to go through what I am going through now.

There is another big thing that happened Mum, one that I can't go into but that's the reason why social services are heavily involved.

Thanks for all your well wishes and support. Your also right in that by writing about it, and putting my thoughts down helps me to deal with it.

forceten 31-08-2008 21:52

Re: My Mum
 
Been up to see Mum. Either myself or my sister goes up everyday so she sees one of us.

Something isn't right with her. Can't put my finger on it at the moment, just know that something is wrong.

Mum is crying all the time, but there are no tears. It's like she is making a noise. Then she will stop for a few minutes, then realise that she is not making a noise and start again. I've asked her what is wrong and she can't tell me.

I can't pacify her anymore. It doesn't matter who is with her. My sister has said the same.

Mums eyes are dead. She knows who I am as she says hello to me and I can see that she recognises me. But other than that I am getting no conversation from her.

I've told her something this weekend, that normally she would have reacted to and spoken to me about and smiled. But nothing.

Her right hand is also more of a claw now. She had left sided stroke which affected her right side. I'm wondering if she has had another stroke, or is having lots of mini strokes?

I'm going up to see her tomorrow, and I'm going to speak to the nurses that are looking after her. Thing is, they don't know her well as she's only been there a week, so they probably won't notice this like my sister and I do. But they do listen to us, and I think they may call the Dr out if we ask.

BERNADETTE 31-08-2008 22:00

Re: My Mum
 
Can you not just ring the doctor regardless? Seems to me you would know your Mum better than anyone given all you have done just lately. Why wait? If it were me the doctor would be called.

Bonnyboy 31-08-2008 22:00

Re: My Mum
 
Tell the nursing staff that you would like a Doctors opinion, don’t assume they will do it if you ask, ensure that they will do it. Tell them to document the request.

Royboy39 31-08-2008 22:07

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnyboy (Post 625539)
Tell the nursing staff that you would like a Doctors opinion, don’t assume they will do it if you ask, ensure that they will do it. Tell them to document the request.

Is not your local Gp involved?
Why not tell your own doctor of your concerns?

forceten 31-08-2008 22:12

Re: My Mum
 
I will ask that they call Mums GP out tomorrow. I will also ask that they phone me when he is due to go to Mum, so that I can be there when he sees Mum and voice what I think. I am on leave from work Monday and Tuesday, but apart from that, I have a very understanding boss, and I can take leave or just leave work when I want if it is to do with Mum. They know how seriously ill Mum is.

I don't have a problem with this nursing home at all. I have no doubt in my mind that they will do as I ask. And if they don't, well I'll just phone Mums GP up myself and request a visit.

I know that Mum is seriously ill, I know that she is dying, but it doesn't make it any easier for me.

BERNADETTE 31-08-2008 22:15

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

forceten.I know that Mum is seriously ill, I know that she is dying, but it doesn't make it any easier for me.
Forceten it must be so hard, you just want the best for your Mum and we all feel for you. Take carexxxxx

forceten 31-08-2008 22:19

Re: My Mum
 
Thanks Bernie..............it is hard. Mum has always been in control of her life before. She's been in charge..........and now she has had it all taken away from her. The fact that she knows that and can't do anything about it breaks my heart.

But I can't understand how she knows that this has all been taken away from her, and is crying all the time, yet there are no tears. I'm not explaining myself properly here, but I know what I mean.

I just wish that Mum didn't know anymore. But I suppose that I don't know how much she does know?

Does that make sense?

WillowTheWhisp 31-08-2008 22:22

Re: My Mum
 
It's such a difficult thing to see someone you love suffering. I know what you mean about knowing something is wrong but someone who doesn't know your Mum as well as you do not being able to see that. I had a similar experience with my mother. She kept having funny dos but didn't realise it herself and when I got the doctor to visit he couldn't see anything wrong and for a long time I felt like I was bashing my head against a brick wall and everyone else thinking I was crazy. It was so frustrating, especially as she kept telling the doctor there was nothing wrong because she didn't even know that there was.

It's so good that your Mum is in a caring nursing home now where they will respond to your concerns and actually care for your Mum and do what's best for her.

BERNADETTE 31-08-2008 22:23

Re: My Mum
 
Yes I think it does, you know her so well and know in your heart of hearts why she is so upset even if she can't telling you. I am worried that you are going to make yourself ill with all the stress. Please take carexxxxx

Royboy39 31-08-2008 22:24

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by forceten (Post 625544)
And if they don't, well I'll just phone Mums GP up myself and request a visit.

I know that Mum is seriously ill, I know that she is dying, but it doesn't make it any easier for me.

Do it..phone the GP and tell him of your problem.....never mind if they don't.
You do it.
I know, I lost my Mum 10 years ago...and it hurt.

cashman 31-08-2008 22:24

Re: My Mum
 
you keep putting down on here Forceten, if it helps ya, i know things must be a nightmare fer ya, yer doing yer best n thats all ya can do,no more than that, good luck in yer fight n keep yer chin up.

WillowTheWhisp 31-08-2008 22:25

Re: My Mum
 
It's probably frustrating for her not to be able to tell you too. Just assure her that you know and that you are doing all you can to get justice for her. I'm sure you must have done that anyway.

derekgas 31-08-2008 22:27

Re: My Mum
 
I guess all the massive changes have had a huge impact on your mum forceten, much as they have on yourself and your family, the doctor is a good idea, i would prepare yourself for the possibility that he may not be able to emlighten you, Is a crying shame your mum cant explain this for you, once again, wish you all well, and hope you do indeed get the answers you need and deserve.

cherokee 31-08-2008 23:14

Re: My Mum
 
Forceten I have read this thread with tears in my eyes, It must be very frustrating for you all right now, There are many people on here who have been in a very similar situation, a couple that I know of personally , and the advice you will get off here is mostly from personal experience.
Take it all on board and try and stay strong, You will get through this and by what you say you are more than happy with the care your mum is recieving. But dont worry in silence . If your concerned call your GP and keep posting and taking the advice from here.

My thoughts are with your mum and your sister and of course you.
Stay strong and take care. xxxx

grannyclaret 31-08-2008 23:57

Re: My Mum
 
forceten i dont know you personally ,but my heart goes out to you..Please try to keep your chin up,,,God bless your mum,,,,

garinda 01-09-2008 00:00

Re: My Mum
 
Trust your instincts, and fight for the care and help your mum deserves.

Good luck x

forceten 02-09-2008 07:46

Re: My Mum
 
update.

I went up to see Mum yesterday. She was just the same as she had been the day before. I mentioned my conernes to the nurse, who told me to ring Mums GP and talk to him. I rang the GP and I went to see him yesterday at 5.30pm

He was lovely with me. He explained in detail to me what was wrong, and why she wasn't on a certain medication which I couldn't undertand why she wasn't.

Mum has been on water tablets for years now. But Mum has chronic kidney failure now, (addes to the long list of other things), and the GP (and the hospital) have taken her off these in the last couple of weeks. I couldn't understand why, but the GP explained to me that by doing this they were giving the kidneys a chance to repair themselves a little. But then he went on to say, that looking at her blood results from the hospital, that he hadn't realised they were as bad as they were. He did say, that if water was to go on Mums lungs then she would be restarted on the water tablets straight away.

I also got some pain killers prescribed for Mum, and some creams that she needed as well.

The GP explained to me, that the kidney problem alone was a poor prognoisis, but that with all the other things that were wrong with Mum, that it was dire now. He said the only thing we can do now is to make sure that she is pain free and comfortable.

Came home and broke my heart. I have known this for a while now, but you just don't want to believe it do you? But I am grateful to the GP for being honest with me.

The GP did say as well, that from what I had told him that she had detroriated rapidly since he saw her last Tuesday, and that she had probably had another stroke, or was having lots of little ones. However, as Mum is already on the medication for this, the medication would not change.

So now we just have to keep her comfortable and painfree. GP is going to see her this week as well.

It may sound odd, but I did feel better after speaking to the GP, and he told me that if there was anything that I wanted for Mum, I only had to ask him, and he would do it for me if he could.

BERNADETTE 02-09-2008 08:18

Re: My Mum
 
Forceten what can anybody say? As many times before this has made me cry. There is one thing you can be sure of and that is nobody could have done more to ensure your Mum has the best care going. You are a daughter any Mum would be proud of and it must be really nice for you to know that her every need is being catered for. Take carexxxx

WillowTheWhisp 02-09-2008 08:27

Re: My Mum
 
Just be assured now that those who are caring for your Mum really are caring and will do all they can to ensure she is free from pain. I have just recently been through something very similar with a close friend of mine but in her case it was very quick. When there is nothing more that can be done to improve her health just knowing that she isn't suffering is a blessing. It's such a difficult time and there is nothing anyone can say or do really that can help but many of us do understand what you are going through. It sounds like you've got a very caring GP there too.

US Angel 02-09-2008 09:59

Re: My Mum
 
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

beechy 02-09-2008 11:43

Re: My Mum
 
words are never enough at times like these
but rest assured accyweb shares your thoughts and concerns
we all share each others good times as well as the not so good
and i speak from a recent past experience
if you have a god he will be with you also..

derekgas 02-09-2008 12:38

Re: My Mum
 
Is difficult to know what to say to you forceten, except you sound as though you have arranged the best possible care for your mum, bless you!

pussycat 03-09-2008 15:17

Re: My Mum
 
i,ll put you and your mum in my prays , my heart go,s out to you ,

forceten 28-10-2008 21:54

Re: My Mum
 
Sad update.

My beloved Mum died in my arms on 22nd October.

Her funeral was today, and I managed my speech without breaking up, which I was determined to do, as I didn't want the priest finishing it for me. It was something that I wanted to do for my Mum, and I asked Mum for strength to do it, and Mum got me through it.

I even did Mums make up for her, as I knew how she wore it.

Mum did come home, I brought her home last night, and my sister and I spent the night with her.

Her two grandsons carried Mum, something that I am very proud of them for, it was the first time for both of them, and Mum would have been so proud of them.

The church was packed, and we even had a singer who sang the Ave Maria for us.

I love you so much Mum

Lilly 28-10-2008 21:56

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by forceten (Post 645416)
Sad update.

My beloved Mum died in my arms on 22nd October.

Her funeral was today, and I managed my speech without breaking up, which I was determined to do, as I didn't want the priest finishing it for me. It was something that I wanted to do for my Mum, and I asked Mum for strength to do it, and Mum got me through it.

I even did Mums make up for her, as I knew how she wore it.

Mum did come home, I brought her home last night, and my sister and I spent the night with her.

Her two grandsons carried Mum, something that I am very proud of them for, it was the first time for both of them, and Mum would have been so proud of them.

The church was packed, and we even had a singer who sang the Ave Maria for us.

I love you so much Mum

I saw your update on facebook, forceten.

I'm sorry for your loss.

forceten 28-10-2008 21:59

Re: My Mum
 
Thank you. It is just beginning to hit me now. The fact that I will never see Mum again, nor feel her arms around me.

Just want my Mum back

West Ender 28-10-2008 22:05

Re: My Mum
 
Love and sympathy to you, Forceten. I lost my dear mum 7 years ago, when she was 91, and I lost my husband 12 years ago.

We get through those awful times, because we have to. Time is a great healer, even though we may not believe it at the time, and the pain will fade one day.

BERNADETTE 28-10-2008 22:30

Re: My Mum
 
I also read your update on face book and would like to offer my sincere sympathies.

You watched your mum suffer and now she is at peace, Love and strength to you and yours at this sad time

derekgas 29-10-2008 07:07

Re: My Mum
 
I am sorry to hear of your sad loss forceten, and we all know that you did everything possible to make your mum's last months as comfortable as possible.

pipinfort 29-10-2008 08:17

Re: My Mum
 
So sorry to hear of your loss........:(

lettie 29-10-2008 08:23

Re: My Mum
 
Sorry to hear of your loss. My condolensces go out to you and your family. Your mum was obviously a very special person who has a very loving family around her.

mrskitty 29-10-2008 08:24

Re: My Mum
 
Im sorry to hear about this forceten :(

flashy 29-10-2008 08:27

Re: My Mum
 
i know how the loss of a mum feels

my heart goes out to you Gail xxxxx

you'll never be over it, but it does get easier xxxxx

garinda 29-10-2008 08:28

Re: My Mum
 
I'm really very sorry to hear about your mum.

She sounded as she was very well loved, and gave a lot of love, and that's all we can ever hope for.

Lolly 29-10-2008 08:43

Re: My Mum
 
I'm very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. xxx

Margaret Pilkington 29-10-2008 08:54

Re: My Mum
 
Sincere condolences on your sad loss.
losing someone you love is always a trial......but you can be assured that you did your very best to make your Mum comfortable in those last days of her life........she was surrounded by love, but she was tired and life held no pleasure for her. It was her time...and those of you who are left have to accept that. Remember that while anyone is alive who remembers her, talks about her with love, then her essence is still with you.
You can't see your Mum, you can't hold your mum in the physical sense.....but you can hold her in your heart....see her in your dreams and remember her when she was whole and vibrant.
Be patient, it will get easier....but it takes time.
My thoughts are with you.
M x

jaysay 29-10-2008 08:59

Re: My Mum
 
I'm so sorry to hear of your lose forceten, I don't think anyone could have done more than you have done to make your mums last few months as comfortable as possible. My deepest sympathies to you and your family

Bonnyboy 29-10-2008 12:17

Re: My Mum
 
Sorry to hear of your sad loss forceten.

pussycat 29-10-2008 20:36

Re: My Mum
 
its very hard when you loss someone that close to you , my thoughts are with you and your family at this very sad time ,

magpie 29-10-2008 20:37

Re: My Mum
 
very sorry .... in my thoughts Magpie:

harwood red 29-10-2008 21:20

Re: My Mum
 
sorry to hear about your loss...may she rest in peace and pain free to watch over you I am sure with a smile

take care of yourself and those close to you and remember all the special times you have shared together

xxxxxxx

Royboy39 29-10-2008 21:36

Re: My Mum
 
I lost my mother some 9 years ago..gladly, suddenly and without pain.
I don't mean gladly she wen't. but without pain is the main point.
I was to collect her on discharge the following morning but she did'nt make it.
My sincere condolances to you and your familly.

lindsay ormerod 29-10-2008 22:12

Re: My Mum
 
Condolences to you and your family, you are in our thoughts. x

forceten 05-11-2008 17:53

Re: My Mum
 
Thank you for all your kind words. It means alot.

I still can't come to terms with the fact that Mum has gone. Just can't believe it, and still expect her to ring me or for me to be able to go and see her. Can't explain it properly.

But I am getting signs from her that she is around me. I was having a tough time today, won't go into details, but I was very upset. I was driving, and a biker went past me, blaring out a song that you wouldn't expect a biker to be blaring out...........it was "Annies Song" my Mums favourite, and I knew then that Mum was with me, and things got better after that.

panther 05-11-2008 18:00

Re: My Mum
 
Just read about your loss forceten, Condolences to you and your family.
I know what it feels like to lose a loved one, but cant imagine what it is like to lose a mum.
When my brother died he had Angels (robbie williams) at his funeral, every time that come on it always reminds me of him and i like to think that its a sign that he is watching :) and it still does after 7 years.
Time is a great healer, and it will get better..

katex 05-11-2008 18:29

Re: My Mum
 
I hope sharing this with us Forceten has helped in some way.

Not too good at this, however, personalising .. my mum was 89 when she passed away, and had a 'peaceful death'. She always said "Don't fret when I go .. have had a good life, lovely husband, good children (which is you), what more could I have asked for". Sure your mum would wish to say this to you ... just sorry she had to go through so much at the end ... x

cashman 05-11-2008 18:47

Re: My Mum
 
sorry to hear about yer loss Forceten, deepest sympathy.

grannyclaret 06-11-2008 00:12

Re: My Mum
 
keep your chin up forceten,,,,god bless

forceten 13-11-2008 22:01

Re: My Mum
 
I'm going to see the old nursing home that Mum was in with my sister tomorrow. They still have some of mums possessions, and they have lied to the police amongst others. So my sister and I are going up to get the rest of Mums possessions tomorrow.

I'm not happy right now. But I wont' give up my fight for Mum. She has died now, and still they abuse her!!!

If they don't give the possessions back tomorrow, I will go to the papers, and I will also post an account on here as well, so that nobody else has to go through what we have had to go through.

mez 14-11-2008 08:40

Re: My Mum
 
oh i really feel for you forceten ...stick to your guns.

jaysay 14-11-2008 10:04

Re: My Mum
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by forceten (Post 650532)
I'm going to see the old nursing home that Mum was in with my sister tomorrow. They still have some of mums possessions, and they have lied to the police amongst others. So my sister and I are going up to get the rest of Mums possessions tomorrow.

I'm not happy right now. But I wont' give up my fight for Mum. She has died now, and still they abuse her!!!

If they don't give the possessions back tomorrow, I will go to the papers, and I will also post an account on here as well, so that nobody else has to go through what we have had to go through.

I'd go to the press anyway forceten, and I don't just mean the Telegraph either. I've followed your plight on other web sites apart from this, and If these homes are not shown up for what they are other people will suffer the same as your Mum did, just hope you get satisfaction when you go tomorrow

forceten 14-11-2008 21:40

Re: My Mum
 
We went to the home today, and low and behold the personal possessions were not there.

We have been told that it is a civil matter, which in a nutshell means that we have to pay upfront £500 before a solicitor will even talk to us. Bearing in mind the owner of the nursning home in question used to be a barristor..........need I say more.

Social services have also told me that they have never ever had such a clear case that they did with my Mum, but they have chosen not to do anything about it. Infact, my Mums social worker has told me that he is disgusted with his department over it.

I've decided now that I am going to go, with my sister to see Jack Straw. The only thing that is holding me back from the papers is the fact that my Mum was a very proud women, who raised thousands upon thousands for charity (£21k) over 20 years ago, and I have to decide in my mind if going to the papers is what she would have wanted.

Mum wasn't herself due to the stroke, but neither did she deserve to be treat the way that she was treat.

Hard decisions to be made, but first I will go and see Jack.

Thanks for all your support

Royboy39 14-11-2008 22:09

Re: My Mum
 
This is a digusting situation and I feel for you.
It would be very interesting to know who is pushing the buttons in this very tragic case.
Try Citizens Advice Bureau and see if they can help...They have more clout that people credit them with.

shillelagh 14-11-2008 22:46

Re: My Mum
 
Go for it forceten.... and also get in touch with greg pope. Ive told you before if you need someone to blast at ..... im always around!!!!


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