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Aggravating things about men!
Why do...
Men put the empty milk bottle back in the fridge? Take the last thing of a plate in fridge and leave the plate there? Sniff their socks when they take them off? Scratch their wotsits first thing in the morning before even opening their eyes? Never replace an empty toilet roll with a new one? Throw things pathetically at bins and look astounded when they miss? Use every pan and utensil in the house when they "cook"? Answers on a postcard please..... |
Re: Aggravating things about men!
I don't think the world posesses enough web space to list all the aggravating things about men....;)
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
Totally agreee there Lettie.
When they have scratched their wotsist they smell their hand? why? Why do they laugh when they fart? |
Re: Aggravating things about men!
Why do they fluff the duvet??????
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
Why do they brag about going to the toilet?
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
Why do they leave dirty clothes on the floor, then complain that they've no clean clothes????
Why do they never ask directions, but are happy to drive round in circles for ages pretending they know where they're going and hoping you won't notice that they don't? Why do they never read instruction manuals?? |
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Why do they never look properly, then find what they were looking for under their nose
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
Why do they never know how to work a washing machine?
Why do they always insist they don't know how to work the video machine, but somehow they know when they want to tape football? Why do they have to weigh their pockets down with change, then not know how to sew up the holes they make? |
Re: Aggravating things about men!
If they have actually managed to hoover up, why do they never put the hoover away, but leave it in the middle of the living room until you come home, then say 'look! I've hoovered' (big deal!)
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
why do they always have to be right?
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
Why, on a night out, do they urinate in back alleys or on the steps of the register office (seen that twice in a month, it's like Niagara Falls down them steps on a friday night) when there is a toilet in the nearest pub about 10 feet away???
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
never go to the doctors and admit when they are ill?
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Re: Aggravating things about men!
. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless. 2. "That's women's work." MEANS: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless. 3. "Will you Marry me?" MEANS: Both of my housemates have moved out, I can't find the washing machine, and there's no beer left. 4. "It's a man thing." MEANS: There's no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical. 5. "Can I help with dinner?" MEANS: Why isn't it already on the table? 6. "It would take too long to explain." MEANS: I have no idea how it works. 7. "I'm getting more exercise lately." MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead. 8. "We're going to be late." MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac. 9. "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." MEANS: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner. 10. "That's interesting dear." MEANS: Are you still talking? 11. "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again. 12. "You expect too much from me." MEANS: You expect me to stay awake? 13. "It's really a good movie." MEANS: It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and tits. 14. "You know how bad my memory is." MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of A-Team, the address of the first girl I kissed, and the number plate of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday. 15. "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." MEANS: The girl selling them in the shop was a real babe, and was wearing a bikini thong. 16. "Oh, don't worry, I just cut myself, it's no big deal." MEANS: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before admitting I'm hurt. 17. "Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing." MEANS: What did you catch me at? 18. "She's one of those rabid feminists." MEANS: She refused to make my tea. 19. "I heard you." MEANS: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and hope I can fake it well enough, so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me. 20. "You know I could never love anyone else." MEANS: I am used to the way YOU yell at me, and realize it could be worse. 21. "You really look terrific in that outfit." MEANS: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving. 22. "I brought you a present." MEANS: It was free lighter night with every 5 beers. 23. "I missed you." MEANS: I can't find my socks, the kids are hungry, and we're out of toilet paper. 24. "I'm not lost, I know exactly where we are." MEANS: No one will ever see us alive again. 25. "This relationship is getting too serious." MEANS: I like you almost as much as I like my car. 26. "I don't need to read the instructions." MEANS: I am perfectly capable of cocking it up without printed directions. |
Re: Aggravating things about men!
If you kiss him, you are easy
If you don't, you are frigid If you praise him, he thinks you are fake If you don't, he thinks you are ungrateful If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive If you don't, you are controling If you visit him often, he thinks you're desperate If you don't, he thinks you're not interested If you are well dressed, he says you are vain If you don't, you are a dog If you are jealous, he say's you're possessive If you're not, then he fools around If you attempt a romance, he say's you are cheap If you don't, he thinks you are cold If you are a minute late, he says you are fussy If he is late, he says you're impatient If you visit another man, you are fooling around If he is visited by another woman, "oh we're just friends" If you kiss him once in a while, he says you're too shy If you kiss him often, he says you're too forward If he fails to help you in crossing the street, he brings up the feminist movement If he does, he expects to be rewarded If you stare at another woman, he says you're jealous If he is stared by other men, boy, you're in big trouble.. If you talk, it's always too much If you listen, it's never enough In short: So complex, yet so predictable So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings) So confusing, yet so funny but most of all, So irritating, yet so irresistible ...MEN! |
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