Being a Brit

flashy · 06-01-2008, 13:20

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on
the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese
TV.

And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET
coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and
lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to
in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
rink.

NOT TO MENTION..

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control
Scalextric cars

makes you think doesnt it

Mr Aleks · 06-01-2008, 13:21

I drive a car with british wipers on!

WillowTheWhisp · 06-01-2008, 13:27

How the heck can you break your arm pulling a Christmas cracker?

cmonstanley · 06-01-2008, 14:03

we all know who we can blame for destroying the british manufacturing industry...we wonder why there is a lot of dissillusioned working class males...they dont want to work in shops.they want to work in manufacturing industries for a fair wage and fair holidays but thatcher put an end to all that..

thomas.lee · 06-01-2008, 14:04

Isnt Ford a British car manufacturer? I drive a Ford anyway.

flashy · 06-01-2008, 14:06

Henry Ford was American

Henry Ford - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

thomas.lee · 06-01-2008, 14:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by flashytart

Henry Ford was American

Henry Ford - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I stand corrected.

cmonstanley · 06-01-2008, 15:03

there is no largescale car production left in britain.its only a matter of time the full british economy crashes big style.

blazey · 08-01-2008, 15:39

My friends disabled but can still ice skate.

jambutty · 08-01-2008, 16:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by flashytart

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Why shouldn’t there be disabled parking in front of an ice skating rink?

A disabled person is still capable of watching an ice hockey match or just watching a relative skating around.

A blind person who can often see vague shapes is capable of skating. You don’t need 20/20 vision to be safe on an ice rink. Even if they are absolutely and totally blind they can still skate around with the aid of a sighted person.

A person with a prosthetic leg or even two can learn to skate. Even a person with mental disabilities can learn to skate.

What a pity that you didn’t give credit to the original author of your opening post.

jambutty · 08-01-2008, 16:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by blazey

My friends disabled but can still ice skate.

Why is your avatar smoking in a public place?

blazey · 09-01-2008, 10:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by jambutty

Why is your avatar smoking in a public place?

The background is blurred, are you so blind that its gone clear for you and you can see what building she's in?

keetah992000 · 09-01-2008, 16:23

oo that was a bit uncalled for

flashy · 10-01-2008, 16:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by jambutty

Why shouldn’t there be disabled parking in front of an ice skating rink?

A disabled person is still capable of watching an ice hockey match or just watching a relative skating around.

A blind person who can often see vague shapes is capable of skating. You don’t need 20/20 vision to be safe on an ice rink. Even if they are absolutely and totally blind they can still skate around with the aid of a sighted person.

A person with a prosthetic leg or even two can learn to skate. Even a person with mental disabilities can learn to skate.

What a pity that you didn’t give credit to the original author of your opening post.

oh JB please give it a rest, i got this in an email and i thought it was funny ok

blazey · 10-01-2008, 19:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by keetah992000

oo that was a bit uncalled for

He was trying to be sarcastic because I commented on his avatar in a previous thread.