Accyweb Awards 2005 - THE CEREMONY
 

The ceremony is about to begin – this is how it will work –

Between 8.30pm – 9.00pm we have the red carpet section, as you log on to the thread for the first time please describe (or even better if you’ve got a picture) what you’re wearing – Garinda is on hand to point out everyone’s fashion faux pas.

At 9.00pm the ceremony will start, I’ll be the hostess but there will be a number of guest presenters and surprise artistes performing. Awards will be announced and very soon afterwards your Avatar will change to a winners cup and you’ll be 50 ackers richer (don’t worry your regular Avatar will return by tomorrow morning).

If you are a winner you'll be expected to make an acceptance speech. So will we have a blubbing Gwyneth, a drunken Crowe or the entire cast of a thread appearing on stage to collect an award or will we have the obligatory unnecessary political speech?

We want to capture all the excitement of a real ceremony, we want speeches from the winners, smiles through gritted teeth for the losers and plenty of backstage gossip.

So, get your speeches ready it’s about to begin.

Cue: lights
Cue: title music
ACTION
Voice over – Laaadieees and Gennnntlemeeeen, welcome to the first Annual Accyweb Awards Ceremony live from your homes. Before we start the ceremony let’s see who’s arriving on the red carpet,

First to arrive is our hostess for the awards Gayle who is wearing her first outfit of the evening, a chocolate brown empire line dress with long, silk, chocolate brown gloves, designed by Valentino, with shoes by Manolo Blahnik. In her hair is a simple brown feather making an ensemble which is Pride and Prejudice mixed with Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.

It’s over to you Garinda……..

Re: Accyweb Awards - THE CEREMONY
 

Gayle the choccie was a fun touch, but it's melting under the lights.

A quick trip to the powder room would be wise. It looks like the bird has holiday tummy.:(

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Everyone looks to the back of the room.....

In staggers Roy, just arrived into the country not 30 minutes ago and looking rather good in his cool Bermuda Shorts and string vest(M+S of course). Is that an award already in his hand? Is this a fix? Oh no - it's just a fancy bottle of vodka, and its half empty, who knows what could happen tonight.......

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Garinda, have you seen Romps - she's currently heading towards the red carpet in a Vivien Westwood. She's on the other thread at the moment.

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Can't you tell what I am?

:D I'm an umpa lumpa ....... thanks for text message notifying me tonight had been changed to a fancy dress occasion at the last minute slinky :)











It's not fancy dress is it? :mad: SLINKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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omg found you sorry!

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http://www.viviennewestwood.co.uk/up...py9_size_0.jpg


I decided on a Vivien Westwood darling

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But you are wearing it so well. You are the new Bjork, I think I mean Bjork.;)

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Sorry I'm late but I just didn't have anything to wear!

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You wear it so well darling, I wouldn't dream of critisising you! In case I was chastised, and I have to leave the red carpet in a huff.:(

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I have already described my outfit in another thread.....but here goes again.
I am wearing a Tina Varigos two peice in bitter chocolate watermarked silk, the out fit has a shawl collar which is lightly sprinkled with bugle beads to catch the light..... the skirt is slightly fitted, long and is split to the knee. I am wearing pale coffee coloured satin evening gloves and dangly jet earrings.....my shoes are pale coffee and encrusted with beads.

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SpeechLESS, obviously the buns of steel classes have paid off since we last saw your butt in the gallery!!!

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I'm sure we both look good enough to eat Margaret.

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/roy whispering quietly to less...

when does the food fight start?

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Yes Gayle Dahling.....you look devine....!

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That is my stunt double, the insurance is too costly for me to appear in person.

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Ooooh Less Dahling, I can see you are pleased to see me...!

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As do you Margaret dahling, kissy kissy.

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You both do, sadly we can actually lick Gayle's chocolate hair accessory, which is now sliding perilously southwards.



Sack your PA, where is he with the wetwipes????

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Gayle....Mwah.....Mwah

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oh Tinks just spied you from the wings you look divine sweetie. mwah mwah

as Romps turns away she bitches.....................bloody outfit how dare she upstage me.


CALL MY BLOODY AGENT RINDY! I WANT ANSWERS & I WANT THEM NOW!

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I've just had a look in the goody bag they have given to all us celeb's, I've got a ticket for three free weeks in Huncoat!

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Ladies and Gentlemen it’s here, the moment you’ve been waiting for, the awards are about to begin, please take your seats. Here she is, your hostess for the evening, Gayle.

Good evening everybody, it’s nice to see so many of you have dressed for the occasion. Welcome to the Awards, I’m sure it’s going to be an exciting evening. We have a few special guests in the audience, I see Tom Cruise is in the front row, sorry but I think you’re going to be disappointed tonight Tom. Oh, and over there we have the entire cast of Lost, please don’t all come up if you win again, the stage isn’t big enough for all of you. And it would appear we have a contingency in from Hyndburn Borough Council, could you all sit down at the back please and stop being rowdy, this is not council chambers you know.

We have a great evening ahead of us and Roy has kindly donated a lot of ackers for prizes. Winners will also find their names turning a different colour on the Who’s Online section and your Avatar will change (but that’s only a temporary thing and the avatars will return to normal tomorrow).

So without further ado, let’s get on to the first award of the evening.

Re: Accyweb Awards - THE CEREMONY
 

Sorry I’m late blummin taxi's!

Have I missed much?

Carry on, sorry


http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/a...tid=4705&stc=1

Re: Accyweb Awards - THE CEREMONY
 

Who is that in the nude coloured lycra body stocking?


I can't see, and don't think I should look.


****** that, hello, hello, hello.

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I've got a voucher for Poundland.....but it's only for 50p

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You carry off the monochromatic look so well, as we've all seen before at Willow's wedding incidentally.

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Wait for the sales in January, everthing is 50% off, the worlds your oyster.

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To announce the winner of the Funniest Thread, let's bring on the funniest man in the north west - no not you, Less. It's Peter Kay..........

Evening everyone, fancy some garlic bread? I've been brought on to announce the winner of the Funniest thread, strange that I've never heard a bobbin of cotton tell a joke.

Anyway, the nominees are

I'm miserable - started by Tinkerbelle
The Accyweb adventures of Robin Hood - started by Less
Dr Helga is in the house - started by Gayle
The Calm Room - started by Less

And the winner is................

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Oh, Garinda...you are a one.....but I like you!

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Accystanmac cannot be with u all tonite as she cant be bothered:) the umpa lumpa will collect any surprise wishful thinking award on her behalf.....

...ah thank you!

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..............Tinkerbelle for I'm miserable

Come up to the stage and collect your award. Speech!

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Applauds the nominees heartily, especially because I'm sat near Tinky, and I know I'm in shot.:)

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Was that a Kemal entrance going on there Slinky ??? :eek: :)

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Well done Tinks.....sound of applause.

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I'd like a word with you fancy dress???? :mad:

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** applause ** - well done tinkerbelle

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She's am hump a lotta or something!

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Sorry tinks..........................although your umpa lumpa outfit looks good, you get away with cos you are only 2ft........................:D

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It’s funny you should say that because I’ve brought along some friends.

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U know she doesn't like being upstaged Tinks LOL

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Well done Tinkerbelle, well done.

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OMG OMG OMG I can't believe it we won guys :D !!!


Everyone up here quick .......... then I can hide :o

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I don't suit concrete.:(

No Len you do really pull it off, though it might be a bit hot on the naturist beach in Maspalomas, though you could keep the glasses.;)

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waheyyyy tinks:) well done hun xx

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well done Tinks mwah mwah XX

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Well done Tinks. I'm filling up, something you've made me do many times before, usually with laughter at five in the morning.

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Tinks.....your name has changed colour in who's online......you are a lovely shade of yellow.....or maybe it is GOLD.

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The Gold suits you - but I'd get to the bank pretty sharpish knowing who else is around.

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Darling your names gone gold!!!!

Or is it wee wee yellow????:)

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Well done Tinks....

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Less starts muttering into the bottom of a pint glass, quickly puts it down when he realises the cameras are on him and applauds (the expression on his face however indicates that he plans to trip tinks up as she walks past!).

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Sorry I'm in tears .............



:( she made me wear an umpa lumpa suit!!

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Tinks has gone a mellow yellow :) ooooo tho rindys just reminded me that it could be toilet accident hummmmm:eek:

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Congratulations tinks…

http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/a...tid=4706&stc=1

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OMG I hope she has clean knickers on tonight and not those 1000 wash grey ones!

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Is she still powdering her nose with Kate Moss?


I have to be at Elton's and Davids post awards party sharpish after this.

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Don't take any notice Tinks......I think it suits you.....they are just jealous!

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:D :bootyshak ;) ..................

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i wondered why she was rolling up a tenner!

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Now that we've managed to drag Tinks off the stage, it's time for our second category of the evening. And to announce the winner of the Best Serious Thread it's over to the most serious man in showbusiness - Trevor McDonald.

It's a great pleasure for me to be here this evening, as I'm sure it is for you too! I've travelled the world, seen many things but I've never quite seen anything like Accyweb.

The nominees for the best Serious thread are

The Panopticon debate - Gayle
Wouldn't it be good - Margaret Pilkington
Arndale Clock, Scrap it or save it - Yerself
Committee - Mez

And the winner is................

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Well done Margaret :)

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Awwwww! you sure.........? Oh thankyou, Thankyou. And thanks to all who supported me in this thread.

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well done Margaret Pilkington



http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/a...tid=4705&stc=1

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Welldone margaret!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! great thread..........:D

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Wel Done Margaret http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_75.gif


You look amazing darling !!

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On my feet.:)

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Well done, Margaret,

I'm still smiling to camera but seething quietyl because that's two categories that I've been beaten in. Oh, well I've still got a chance in the Drama Queen category.

Fantastic, Margaret, you look divine.

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Congratulations Margaret

http://www.apaintersgarden.com/image...%20Bouquet.jpg

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well
done

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Thanks tinks mwah mwah x x.......and len mwah mwah x x......and slinky mwah mwah x x

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Oh, the flowers a re beautiful Romps....XX and thanks ginger

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At the bar, getting a refill. Sorry, did I miss something?
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_7_3.gif

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well done margaret :) ** applause ** ** applause ** ** applause ** ** applause **

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Well I was on my feet, you got a one man standing ovation.


Well done from number one fan.:)

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Speech, Margaret, speech

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Thanks Roy x x and Gayle, don't seethe love you have time on your side.....Mwah Mwah x x

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Well done Margaret http://www.cuddlecards.com/ccpics/be...uddlecards.gif

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On to our next award, and we have a very special guest to announce the nominees and winners for this one.

To announce the winner of Most Random Thread Wander could you all please put your hands together and welcome on stage.....

Romps

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Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, this speech will be a short one.
I would just like to thank all those people who supported this thread....I did have a vain hope that it would do some good. And while things didn't get off the ground, it wasn't for the want of trying. I would like to thank Gayle for her efforts in this direction.....Thankyou Gayle, by the way Dahling......Have I told you.....you look divine.....?
Thankyou everybody.

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Gives Romp's a big clap.

‘Random Thread Wanderer’
 

Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman. It’s an honour to be here taking part in such auspicious event as this. So without further ado here are the nominations for best

• Tealeaf for, ‘Hiroshima on TV’
• Garinda for, ‘Enchanted Woodland Event’
• Park 381 for, ‘Councillors Vote Themselves A 26% Pay rise’
• Staggering Man for, ‘What A Load Of Rubbish’

And the winner is………………………………………….

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Thankyou Pauline and to my number 1 fan....Mwah...mwah....XX

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Smiles winesomely to camera.

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Oh I am sooooooooooo pleased to annouunce that the winner is ...........

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well done rindy

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Whooo oooh - applauds loudly.

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Well done rindy roo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!http://www.harveystahoeweddings.com/Art/Flowers.jpg

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** applause ** :D well done to our one and only asian babe :D

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http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_17_1.gif well done garinda!!!

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well done garinda!!!



http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/a...tid=4705&stc=1

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Oh, no, here comes our Gwyneth.

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well done garinda!!

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Well done darling.... the Garinda Mobile is waiting for you when your ready..........

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Well done my number 1 fan......knew you'd win something. Loud applause.....whistles..... SPEECH

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Oh my goodness, I really am humbled.


I couldn't have done this without Gayle [runs accross to embrace her,] for starting the thread, and for Tealeaf for being the inspiration for me wandering off into gender politics.


Thank you soooooooooooooo much.:)


[Blows a kiss to rented by the hour escort sat next to me in the second row, because my date had to stay at home with his wife.]