Are You a Mean Parent?

Busman747 · 20-08-2006, 21:07

When people question the attitude of both children and parents in todays world, it is sometimes good to be reminded what parenthood is all about and the "ideal" way of bringing up children which came naturally to families just a few decades ago.
If you are a young parent and identify with the story below, you are on course to becoming the "perfect parent"

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mum told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you go pay for the sweets you had taken and tell the shopkeeper, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes.

Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will ask them:

Was your Mum mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate sweets for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other people's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mum was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean mums!

As a Dad of six daughters, I am proud to say that four grew up to appreciate honesty and integrity - and the other two, (still young teenagers) are well on their way to appreciating their Mean mum and step-dad

Busman747 · 20-08-2006, 21:17

This sort of runs hand in hand with my post so I thought I would insert it

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve, we have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so! "

God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you? " said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it! " Adam said. "Did not! " "Did too! "

"DID NOT! " Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5.The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

mrskitty · 20-08-2006, 21:25

What a brilliant thread.....made me laugh so much!and although Jacks is still only young....yes i am a mean parent,and im sure when he learns to talk he will tell everyone just how mean i am

Busman747 · 20-08-2006, 21:39

Keep being mean miss kitty, Your children WILL appreciate it one day

junetta · 21-08-2006, 00:03

A few months ago my daughter told me that I was a horrid mum but her best friend............she's 32 now.

I'm not sure if it was a compliment or not!!

SPUGGIE J · 21-08-2006, 10:09

I find firm but fair works best. That way I dont have to raise my voice or anything else I think is bad for my daughter though some disagree with this approach. Also if I say no to something I give a reason not the commen reply of "because I said so thats why" as an explination does help.

accymel · 21-08-2006, 10:24

Yeh im very much the same in that respect Spuggie, i do explain why i make my descion & also wont be nagged or bribed to change my mind either - shows good example to them that you make a descion you have to stick with it, i dont accept the 'cos' or 'because i said so line' instantly if i have explained & they asked then they will be told thats my final answer hehehehehe

I dont spoil them not that i have means to do it & i think that stands them in better stead than growing up a bigger baby like Nicki of BB - talk of being modycoddled!!! I teach m kids life skills & survival in all aspects as best i can!

Though my kids will tell you im very mean but fair

Margaret Pilkington · 21-08-2006, 15:21

Yes....I was a MEAN mum.........I would tell my daughter not to do something...or else! and if she did what she wasn't supposed to do she found out that I MEANT it. In our house we played Good Cop - Bad Cop....and I don't have to tell you who was the BAD cop!

She used to yell and scream that she hated me.....so why is it she is bringing up her two children using my methods? (in fact.....I stole my methods from MY mum....who was the meanest mum in creation)!