Squirrels - Page 3

Margaret Pilkington · 28-03-2014, 21:41

There is a flaw in your plan Eric.....there will soon be so many of the critters that you will have to take another job to pay for the Viagra........and your doctor will think you are having a whale of a time!

Less · 28-03-2014, 21:41

[QUOTE=Eric;1100179]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Less

I have been giving this problem a great deal of thought on your behalf Eric and have come up with an idea that might just work.

If Canada is like here the contraceptive pill is free, so get down to the clinic and get a few boxes, (if they are reluctant to supply, play the equal opportunities card) then grind them to a light powder and sprinkle the dust over the peanuts before putting them out, this over time should reduce the population.

Don't worry about the male squirrels eating these peanuts because if rumours are true they will develop female characteristics which will have the result of reducing the population even quicker.

Westendlass this may also work for your friends moles if she is prepared to find a large quantity of worms and coat them, (though what the long term effect will have on the worms, who knows? I don't suppose the pill has been tested on hermaphrodite's.

A great idea! But I do think, in order to better protect my plants, I should add ground up viagra to the mix ... if I do this, then they will be too busy screwing to worry about the plants. And, it's squirrel friendly ... the little critters will have a ball

It might just be Eric friendly as well, far better you inhale Viagra dust and get flared nostrils, than pill dust and end up with a sex life similar to a worms.

DaveinGermany · 28-03-2014, 21:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

There is a flaw in your plan Eric.....there will soon be so many of the critters that you will have to take another job to pay for the Viagra........and your doctor will think you are having a whale of a time!

Added to that, they'd be spending more time on the ground (the males at least) as climbing trees may be a tad awkward.

Eric · 28-03-2014, 22:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveinGermany

Added to that, they'd be spending more time on the ground (the males at least) as climbing trees may be a tad awkward.

Back in the day, I could have handled it

But, as the late great George Carlin observed when told, on a plane, to "put his seat back forward": "I'm sorry; I don't bend that way any more. If I did, I would be in porno movies"

Oh, and to stay on topic, I think I'll go with a mix of cayenne, chili, and white pepper ... ta for all the advice.

Eric · 28-03-2014, 22:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by westendlass

I can remember sitting in a park in York in the nineties eating a sandwich and hand feeding an unusually brave squirrel. It was obviously used to people, never seen one that friendly since though. I think they're great and love watching them.We occasionally get them in the garden but you can always spot them over at Foxhill nature reserve.

I feed a couple of squirrels who are real friendly: Iggy and Stumpy. Iggy will pull on my pant leg if I don't come up with the peanuts quickly enough. In spring, summer, and fall, there are also a couple of real friendly coons, Raquel and Arbuckle. I don't expect to see Arbuckle again; he was getting up in years, and probably didn't survive the winter.

Stumpy is my fav. I almost shot him last fall. He showed up limping one day, with bad cuts on his body. His tail was mangled, ready to fall off, and looked infected. He was having trouble climbing trees. I thought it would be best to put the little guy out of his misery. Had him lined up, and was about to pull the trigger, when the god whom so many misunderstand, tugged at what's left of my soul ... and I changed my mind. He's still around (Stumpy that is, not God). Happy as a clam. Not much tail left, but he's doing fine without it.

westendlass · 29-03-2014, 08:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

I feed a couple of squirrels who are real friendly: Iggy and Stumpy. Iggy will pull on my pant leg if I don't come up with the peanuts quickly enough. In spring, summer, and fall, there are also a couple of real friendly coons, Raquel and Arbuckle. I don't expect to see Arbuckle again; he was getting up in years, and probably didn't survive the winter.

Stumpy is my fav. I almost shot him last fall. He showed up limping one day, with bad cuts on his body. His tail was mangled, ready to fall off, and looked infected. He was having trouble climbing trees. I thought it would be best to put the little guy out of his misery. Had him lined up, and was about to pull the trigger, when the god whom so many misunderstand, tugged at what's left of my soul ... and I changed my mind. He's still around (Stumpy that is, not God). Happy as a clam. Not much tail left, but he's doing fine without it.

Glad Stumpy survived Eric, you'll get your reward in Heaven

.Is Arbuckle a fatty?

Less · 29-03-2014, 08:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by westendlass

Glad Stumpy survived Eric, you'll get your reward in Heaven

.Is Arbuckle a fatty?

Stumpy is very lucky without his tail Eric will never put him in the pot, all of a squirrel can be used and the tail makes a very good substitute for dental floss.

Eric · 29-03-2014, 12:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by westendlass

Is Arbuckle a fatty?

He's a rotund, elderly gentleman.

If you have the slightest interest in god and animals, you might check out Blake's "Auguries of Innocence."

westendlass · 29-03-2014, 19:18

I've read it today Eric and it's a very moving poem. I even named one of my son's after the redbreast (my favourite bird). Tonight I shall be imbibing of a tipple or two so tomorrow I'll reread and digest properly. Thanks for that.

westendlass · 29-03-2014, 19:25

And no he's not called Hot Tits by the way!

Eric · 30-03-2014, 07:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by westendlass

And no he's not called Hot Tits by the way!

And you are?

By the way, if you liked the Blake, here's one by Jon Silkin. It mentions a squirrel, but nothing about how to keep them off plants

:

caring

He was a nice guy too. Corresponded with him about an article I was researching on Wilfred Owen ... never published it.

accyman · 30-03-2014, 08:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

There is a flaw in your plan Eric.....there will soon be so many of the critters that you will have to take another job to pay for the Viagra........and your doctor will think you are having a whale of a time!

although there is no indication as to what effect the pill will have on worms i have a bloomin good idea what effect viagra will have on a worm

westendlass · 01-04-2014, 12:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

And you are?

By the way, if you liked the Blake, here's one by Jon Silkin. It mentions a squirrel, but nothing about how to keep them off plants

:

caring

He was a nice guy too. Corresponded with him about an article I was researching on Wilfred Owen ... never published it.

What a lovely thought provoking poem. I think a love of animals reveals a lot about someone's personality. I know one or two folk who cant be doing with animals at all, which has always puzzled me.