Birth order.
- Thread starter garinda
- Start date
That's lovely. You've certainly got a big, loving family around you now.
When you said you still wish now, that you had siblings, it brought a lump to my throat.
Then I got to wondering if only children are better at making friends, because they have to, not having ready made playmates at home.
You certainly seemed to have had a good gang of close pals around you, to have your adventures with.
Then I remembered this thread.
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Well, I did the quiz, though I couldn't relate to some of the questions...it seemed too american to me....and guess what I came out as a 'firstborn personality'.......and I am actually the eldest child in a family which has seven children.
I always wanted to be an only child. I like my own company.
I only had one child.....but she, like you. Claytonx regretted not having siblings....and has two children of her own.
I always wanted to be an only child. I like my own company.
I only had one child.....but she, like you. Claytonx regretted not having siblings....and has two children of her own.
Well even though I am the eldest apparently I am more like a middle child,
Personality Traits of Middle Children - Birth Order
Personality Traits of Middle Children - Birth Order
- More mysterious. Middle born children are more difficult to define because their identity growing up changed (from last born to middle child). This affects their personality and environment in unpredictable ways. Strange, it didnt change as I were growing up?
- Peacekeepers. Middle born children may be more likely to keep peace in the family, to restore connections and relationships. Yep this is deff me, I hate arguing and try and keep the peace.
- Less decisive. Middle children may take longer to choose a career than firstborn or later-borns. They may deliberately make opposite choices than firstborns; if the first born is a doctor, the middle child may choose to be a firefighter or policeman. I kinda fell into a job, didnt really make a career for myself as I were too busy being naughty when I should have been thinking about my future!
- Less connected. Middle children may not be as attached to the family as first borns or later borns. This one I disagree with very much, any one that knows me can tell you that my family is the most important thing in my life.
The quiz is a bag of crap, i came out the Middle Child. when in fact i'm the eldest, n i answered em honestly.
Maybe you should have been a middle child.
The quiz is a bag of crap, i came out the Middle Child. when in fact i'm the eldest, n i answered em honestly.
Unless someone snatched a sibling, before you came along, and left some pegs and some lucky heather in their pram in exchange, and no one's ever told you.
Does she?
Perhaps we all want what we didn't have.
I do love my brother, but like you, much prefered my own company as a child, no one could match the imaginative world that I'd created, and I still do prefer my own company.
Having met your lovely daughter, she has a very special, empathetic quality, which she might not have developed, if she'd had siblings. Perhaps it was meant to be.
I do think most of it's daft, but I do think some of who I am today, was defined by being a first born, to two new sets of grandparents, and the first child born in our extended family for a generation.
I wasn't spoiled, but a lot of attention was invested in me. Which really, sadly, seems to diminish with the arrival of the next child in our family. Not especially from parents, but from the whole family as a whole.
My brother thinks this is true. There are boxes of photographs of me, and tons of film, and very few of him. Him being the film making grandparents' third grandchild, by the time he was born.
I was also given lots of things, that had belonged to children from previous generations, books, precious toys, childrens' furniture, which he didn't get given to him. Though I suppose why would they save stuff to give him, they didn't know he'd be born two years later than me.
I do think there's something in it...perhaps.
When Nicola was having her second baby I told her that there wasn't much to bring a child into the world for....and you know my feelings on babies......I wasn't keen on them.
She told me that she didn't want her son to be on his own in the eventuality of his parents demise.....she wanted him to have someone with whom he had a close bond.....and it was then she said she wished she had had a brother or a sister.
I had never considered such things when she was growing up.......I felt that she would be very self reliant......I am independent and self reliant....and felt that these were traits she would inherit.
I also know that having brothers and sister does not always work out how you would want it to....although I am one of seven children, there is only me that really does the caring stuff for my mum.....OK two of my siblings are in Oz.......but the others - all boys, seem to have little interest in how Ma is, or whether there is anything they could do for her.
Some families just do not get on at all....and this can be a cause of much unhappiness.
She told me that she didn't want her son to be on his own in the eventuality of his parents demise.....she wanted him to have someone with whom he had a close bond.....and it was then she said she wished she had had a brother or a sister.
I had never considered such things when she was growing up.......I felt that she would be very self reliant......I am independent and self reliant....and felt that these were traits she would inherit.
I also know that having brothers and sister does not always work out how you would want it to....although I am one of seven children, there is only me that really does the caring stuff for my mum.....OK two of my siblings are in Oz.......but the others - all boys, seem to have little interest in how Ma is, or whether there is anything they could do for her.
Some families just do not get on at all....and this can be a cause of much unhappiness.
My grand parents made much of me....I was their first grandchild and they doted on me......but this was the only place where I felt truly important.
Thats probably the reason its a bag of crap.
If yer from a good/loving family, don't dwell on crap like this i reckon.Does she?
Perhaps we all want what we didn't have.
I do love my brother, but like you, much prefered my own company as a child, no one could match the imaginative world that I'd created, and I still do prefer my own company.
Having met your lovely daughter, she has a very special, empathetic quality, which she might not have developed, if she'd had siblings. Perhaps it was meant to be.
I do think most of it's daft, but I do think some of who I am today, was defined by being a first born, to two new sets of grandparents, and the first child born in our extended family for a generation.
I wasn't spoiled, but a lot of attention was invested in me. Which really, sadly, seems to diminish with the arrival of the next child in our family. Not especially from parents, but from the whole family as a whole.
My brother thinks this is true. There are boxes of photographs of me, and tons of film, and very few of him. Him being the film making grandparents' third grandchild, by the time he was born.
I was also given lots of things, that had belonged to children from previous generations, books, precious toys, childrens' furniture, which he didn't get given to him. Though I suppose why would they save stuff to give him, they didn't know he'd be born two years later than me.
I do think there's something in it...perhaps.
If yer from a good/loving family, don't dwell on crap like this i reckon.
We did come from a fantastically loving family. Still do.
Trust me, I don't ever dwell on this.
It was only Claytonx's post, about them wishing they'd had siblings, which reminded me of this subject.
Then again, I would say that, being a first born, wouldn't I, you little baby?
Thats probably the reason its a bag of crap.
Though how we're all raised, and in what environment, and how we learn to develop relationships with other people, and who those people happen to be, might have an affect on the personality traits we go on to develop throughout our lives.
A child brought up from birth alone in a cellar, might develop slightly differently from a child brought up in the company of other children, in a secure and happy home, say.
So environment may shape our development, as science tends to think, and it might not all be crap.
Well i was once shut int coal nook, so that may have contributed.Though how we're all raised, and in what environment, and how we learn to develop relationships with other people, and who those people happen to be, might have an affect on the personality traits we go on to develop throughout our lives.
A child brought up from birth alone in a cellar, might develop slightly differently from a child brought up in the company of other children, in a secure and happy home, say.
So environment may shape our development, as science tends to think, and it might not all be crap.
Well i was once shut int coal nook, so that may have contributed.
I can understand why.
I would have loved to have had a sibling, especially now I see how my kids are so close, as for making friends Rindi, I think your right I used to love making new friends especially female
I'm an only child but it seemed to think I was the middle child.
I was an only child due to economics, my parents really couldn't afford another one at the time because they were so young when they had me and then when they could afford one they decided not to have one as the family of three seemed to be just right as it was.
One thing that being an only child has given me is independence. I know that no matter what happens I can cope with things on my own and I can certainly stand up for myself. I'm extremely comfortable in my own company and never need anyone around to entertain me.
What's most interesting about the family dynamics is how me and my longest close friend from school (the one I shared all my growing up with) have done the opposite and she has only had one child because she saw how my life was and I have had two because I thought she had it better.
I can certainly see how Zack is like his Dad and Maddie is like her uncle and the similarity of the dynamics between their relationships.
There's a lot in it but equally it's of no real importance because I couldn't suddenly muster up a younger or older sibling, even if I'd wanted to. So in those immortal words
I AM WHAT I AM
I was an only child due to economics, my parents really couldn't afford another one at the time because they were so young when they had me and then when they could afford one they decided not to have one as the family of three seemed to be just right as it was.
One thing that being an only child has given me is independence. I know that no matter what happens I can cope with things on my own and I can certainly stand up for myself. I'm extremely comfortable in my own company and never need anyone around to entertain me.
What's most interesting about the family dynamics is how me and my longest close friend from school (the one I shared all my growing up with) have done the opposite and she has only had one child because she saw how my life was and I have had two because I thought she had it better.
I can certainly see how Zack is like his Dad and Maddie is like her uncle and the similarity of the dynamics between their relationships.
There's a lot in it but equally it's of no real importance because I couldn't suddenly muster up a younger or older sibling, even if I'd wanted to. So in those immortal words
I AM WHAT I AM
Idem!
I did the quiz and came out as First-born which I am -the description it gave is pretty accurate as far as I can see.
I don't make friends easily - (especially now as an adult and particularly with other women) - but of my 4 "Best-friends" who all remain from childhood, 3 are "only children" -i wonder if there is a reason for this?
Wish i hadn't read the description of a First child in the link on the first post - scary to see all my "issues" in black and white...