I prefer optrex.Photoshop has a fix for red eye.
Squirrels
- Thread starter Eric
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- hints and tips
Whatever it is you are drinking.....I'd give it up.....it is no good for your health.
Perhaps you do but after you've drunk a whole bottle do you not find that it can effect your, erm, your... oh whats the word, erm con, definately con something concrete? nah, contemplation, again nah, ah yes I remember now, constipation?
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Don`t worry Margaret, compared to a badger with its brains and guts spread across it`s fur, my health is pretty good.
I hope your coat is imitation fur or it won't just be the road kill that hums.
It's polyester....try to get that out of a parrot!
I have been giving this problem a great deal of thought on your behalf Eric and have come up with an idea that might just work.
If Canada is like here the contraceptive pill is free, so get down to the clinic and get a few boxes, (if they are reluctant to supply, play the equal opportunities card) then grind them to a light powder and sprinkle the dust over the peanuts before putting them out, this over time should reduce the population.
Don't worry about the male squirrels eating these peanuts because if rumours are true they will develop female characteristics which will have the result of reducing the population even quicker.
Westendlass this may also work for your friends moles if she is prepared to find a large quantity of worms and coat them, (though what the long term effect will have on the worms, who knows? I don't suppose the pill has been tested on hermaphrodite's.
A great idea! But I do think, in order to better protect my plants, I should add ground up viagra to the mix ... if I do this, then they will be too busy screwing to worry about the plants. And, it's squirrel friendly ... the little critters will have a ball
There is a flaw in your plan Eric.....there will soon be so many of the critters that you will have to take another job to pay for the Viagra........and your doctor will think you are having a whale of a time!
I have been giving this problem a great deal of thought on your behalf Eric and have come up with an idea that might just work.
If Canada is like here the contraceptive pill is free, so get down to the clinic and get a few boxes, (if they are reluctant to supply, play the equal opportunities card) then grind them to a light powder and sprinkle the dust over the peanuts before putting them out, this over time should reduce the population.
Don't worry about the male squirrels eating these peanuts because if rumours are true they will develop female characteristics which will have the result of reducing the population even quicker.
Westendlass this may also work for your friends moles if she is prepared to find a large quantity of worms and coat them, (though what the long term effect will have on the worms, who knows? I don't suppose the pill has been tested on hermaphrodite's.
A great idea! But I do think, in order to better protect my plants, I should add ground up viagra to the mix ... if I do this, then they will be too busy screwing to worry about the plants. And, it's squirrel friendly ... the little critters will have a ball
It might just be Eric friendly as well, far better you inhale Viagra dust and get flared nostrils, than pill dust and end up with a sex life similar to a worms.
Added to that, they'd be spending more time on the ground (the males at least) as climbing trees may be a tad awkward.
Added to that, they'd be spending more time on the ground (the males at least) as climbing trees may be a tad awkward.
Back in the day, I could have handled it
But, as the late great George Carlin observed when told, on a plane, to "put his seat back forward": "I'm sorry; I don't bend that way any more. If I did, I would be in porno movies"Oh, and to stay on topic, I think I'll go with a mix of cayenne, chili, and white pepper ... ta for all the advice.
I feed a couple of squirrels who are real friendly: Iggy and Stumpy. Iggy will pull on my pant leg if I don't come up with the peanuts quickly enough. In spring, summer, and fall, there are also a couple of real friendly coons, Raquel and Arbuckle. I don't expect to see Arbuckle again; he was getting up in years, and probably didn't survive the winter.
Stumpy is my fav. I almost shot him last fall. He showed up limping one day, with bad cuts on his body. His tail was mangled, ready to fall off, and looked infected. He was having trouble climbing trees. I thought it would be best to put the little guy out of his misery. Had him lined up, and was about to pull the trigger, when the god whom so many misunderstand, tugged at what's left of my soul ... and I changed my mind. He's still around (Stumpy that is, not God). Happy as a clam. Not much tail left, but he's doing fine without it.
Glad Stumpy survived Eric, you'll get your reward in Heaven
.Is Arbuckle a fatty?Glad Stumpy survived Eric, you'll get your reward in Heaven
Stumpy is very lucky without his tail Eric will never put him in the pot, all of a squirrel can be used and the tail makes a very good substitute for dental floss.
He's a rotund, elderly gentleman.
If you have the slightest interest in god and animals, you might check out Blake's "Auguries of Innocence."
I've read it today Eric and it's a very moving poem. I even named one of my son's after the redbreast (my favourite bird). Tonight I shall be imbibing of a tipple or two so tomorrow I'll reread and digest properly. Thanks for that.
And no he's not called Hot Tits by the way!