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Showing results 1 to 25 of 232
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Search: Posts Made By: claytonx
Forum: Anything Goes 17-02-2013, 16:09
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A few more from Frank Carson (its the way I tell um ) to make you smile

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers...
Forum: Anything Goes 15-02-2013, 13:41
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

Will try again using the key board.

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him he reckoned he could stop at any time.

Statistically six out of seven...
Forum: Anything Goes 15-02-2013, 13:11
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A few from the late Frank Carson.
The grim reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

Mate of mine recently admitted to be
Forum: Anything Goes 06-12-2012, 13:02
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A man and his wife moved back home to Cork,from London
The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was £2000 a year.

Whe they arrived in Cork they went to an insurance agency to see how...
Forum: Anything Goes 04-12-2012, 12:28
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A man came to visit his grandparents,and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt,with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa,what are you doing?...
Forum: Anything Goes 16-11-2012, 16:07
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.He watched as his father moved from horse to horse,running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump,and chest.
After a few minutes,Larry...
Forum: Anything Goes 10-11-2012, 12:01
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

"Never trust a dog to watch your food."

"When your Dad is mad and asks you,'Do I look stupid?'dom't answer."

"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."

"Stay away from prunes."

"Never...
Forum: Anything Goes 09-11-2012, 11:30
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A manwas riding on a bus,minding his own business,when the woman sat next to him started to breastfeed her baby.

The baby wouldn't take it,so she said,

"Come on,eat it all up or...I'll have to...
Forum: Anything Goes 20-07-2012, 11:36
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

Yesterday,Five hundred men walked out of the steel mill while it was still in operation. A union spokesman said they had to strike while the iron was hot.
Forum: Anything Goes 19-07-2012, 11:59
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

It was Postman Pat's day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail in all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.
When he arrived at the first house he was greeted by the whole family...
Forum: Anything Goes 18-07-2012, 11:53
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

On a train from London to Manchester,an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.

'You English are to stuffy.You set yourselves apart too much.You think your...
Forum: Anything Goes 16-07-2012, 11:36
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today,is those mobile phones that everyone has clipped on to their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
I also made a...
Forum: Anything Goes 15-07-2012, 12:07
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table,took his wife's hand in his and said' Martha soon we will be married 50 years,and there's something I have...
Forum: Anything Goes 14-07-2012, 12:17
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

Three dead bodies turn up at a Dublin mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces.The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

'First body:Pierre Dubois,Frenchman,60,died of...
Forum: Anything Goes 12-07-2012, 11:34
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

Two little boys are in a hospital,lying on beds next to each other,outside the operating room.The first kid leans over and asks,'What are you in here for?'

The second kid says,'I'm in here to get...
Forum: Anything Goes 11-07-2012, 10:37
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying...
Forum: Anything Goes 09-07-2012, 12:22
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
'Nurse,'he mumbles from behind the...
Forum: Anything Goes 07-07-2012, 12:17
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A blond gets a job as a sports teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone,while all the other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
She...
Forum: Anything Goes 06-07-2012, 11:28
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

The little boy had just returned home after an outing with his father.'Well,dear,how did you like the zoo?'asked the boys mother.
'Oh,it was great!'replied the boy.'And Dad liked it too especially...
Forum: Anything Goes 05-07-2012, 11:55
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

A man is dragging a large box along the pavement when he suddenly stops outside one house and knocks at the door.
The door is opened by a woman,and the man asks: 'Are you Widow Jones?'
'My name is...
Forum: Anything Goes 03-07-2012, 12:13
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

My wife,besides being rather fat,is incredibly bossy-always telling people what they should do.One day she was on a bus and had just settled down and got comfortable in he seat when she saw that the...
Forum: Anything Goes 02-07-2012, 11:44
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

It was one of the strangest looking dogs they had ever seen at the pub,and the regulars found it a great topic of conversation.
Eventually,one of them sidled over to the dogs owner and said:'That's...
Forum: Anything Goes 01-07-2012, 11:30
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

Jacob was dying and the family gathered around his bedside.
'Mama,'he whispered.
'I'm here,Jacob,'she replied.
'Rachel,'he sighed.
'I'm here,Papa.'
'Isaac!'
'I'm here,Papa.'
'Levi?'he coughed'...
Forum: Anything Goes 30-06-2012, 11:50
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

The television company decided to make a program about successful business executives,so they called five of them into the studio to talk about there lives and how they managed to be so successful....
Forum: Anything Goes 29-06-2012, 11:38
Replies: 2,285
Sticky: Joke Of The Day
Views: 163,837
Posted By claytonx
Re: Joke Of The Day

Three Irishmen were walking along a road when a young man in a battered sports car ran over them. He got out of his car and buried them in a field.Then he went to a police station to report what he...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 232

 

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