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Welcome to Accrington Web! We are a discussion forum dedicated to the towns of Accrington, Oswaldtwistle and the surrounding areas, sometimes referred to as Hyndburn! We are a friendly bunch please feel free to browse or read on for more info. You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, photos, play in the community arcade and use our blog section. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please, join our community today!

Showing results 1 to 17 of 17 Search took 0.00 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Aussie Irene

Forum: Anything Goes 12-12-2016, 05:23

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day THE PERFECT ANSWER "I can't believe you've been visiting prostitutes for sex," screamed his wife. "I'm really disappointed." "You can hardly blame me," he answered, "It's not like i was...

Forum: Anything Goes 25-08-2015, 09:11

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day CIRCUMCISION Paddy says to Mick, "I'm getting circumcised tomorrow" Mick says, " I had that done when i was three days old" Paddy asks, "Did it hurt" Mick says, "Well i couldn't walk for...

Forum: Anything Goes 25-11-2014, 02:26

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day The phone rings, "Hello," "Mrs Sanders please," "Speaking". "Mrs Sanders, this is Dr Jones at the St Agnes Laboratory. When your husbands doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from...

Forum: Anything Goes 12-09-2014, 03:12

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day AUSTRALIAN VIRGIN. A very nice, innocent woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man, if he has never had sex with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of...

Forum: Anything Goes 06-09-2014, 08:47

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day IRISH EXPLANATION. The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law Paddy, in a steaming rage, and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously....

Forum: Anything Goes 01-05-2014, 08:55

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day MISSING WIFE A husband went to the police station to file a "Missing person report" for his missing wife: HUSBAND:- Iv'e lost my wife, she went shopping and hasn't come back yet. INSPECTOR:-...

Forum: Anything Goes 13-04-2014, 11:59

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day DONATIONS A driver was stuck in a traffic jam outside the Houses of Parliament in London. A man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, " What's going on." ...

Forum: Anything Goes 07-04-2014, 11:28

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day A Thoughtful Scottish Husband Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, "Margaret, put your hat and coat on...

Forum: Anything Goes 04-04-2014, 01:44

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day Crutches Anyone?? One morning a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water, splashes some on both legs, then throws away both his crutches An alter boy witnessed...

Forum: Anything Goes 28-03-2014, 12:38

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day TIGER WOODS IN IRELAND On a golf tour of Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, who knows absolutely...

Forum: Anything Goes 28-02-2014, 00:46

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day TELEPHONE SURVEY Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:- "Please would you give your honest opinion about solutions to the food...

Forum: Anything Goes 12-02-2014, 02:32

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day Nearing The End A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm...

Forum: Anything Goes 25-01-2014, 05:49

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day FREE MEAT It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby boy in her arms, entered his butchers shop and confronted him with the news, that the baby was his, and...

Forum: Anything Goes 14-01-2014, 23:58

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day The Bowls Club Members. One morning three women are playing bowls on the fourth green, when suddenly, a guy runs passed wearing nothing but a bag over his head. As he passes the first woman, she...

Forum: Anything Goes 19-11-2013, 01:32

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: " Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to flight 293 nonstop from London to...

Forum: Anything Goes 15-10-2013, 11:41

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day THE ESTATE. Morris Swartz is dying and is on his deathbed. He is with his nurse, his wife, daughter, and 2 sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them. "Bernie, i want you to take the...

Forum: Anything Goes 05-10-2013, 00:49

Replies: 2,285 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By Aussie Irene Re: Joke Of The Day A ROMANTIC STORY> 'll never forget how happy i was when i saw my missus walking towards me.... My heart was beating fast, and the ecitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but...

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