Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Security firms paid £23m to guard police stations | Mail Online
This is when the old statement "you couldn't make it up" comes into play,
doesn't say much for law and order if they can't even look after their own establishment:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Hang on what law n order? They are too busy chasing motorists to do owt serious.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Thats right what spuggie says i a gree they are to bizzy with the motorist

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Barking Mad !!

Best Regards - Taggy

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

That's because your average Plod hasn't had the proper 'Elf 'n' Safedy, training, and far be it for them to disregard the rules eh ! :rolleyes:

That'd be taking liberties so it would, which would then bring them into bother with the civil liberties people because that'd be impinging on someone's Human rights by making them stand outside in the wet & cold.

Poor Constable Singhs' Turban would get wet & due to his religious beliefs he can't take it off so they'd have to bring him in so the poor fella wouldn't get soaked, thereby breaching a risk assessment ruling that a wet turbans weight may add undue pressure onto the wearers neck, thereby opening the force up for a compensation claim.

But Constable Singhs' replacement Constable Mustafa goes & stands outside so Joe Public would know their local force was operating in observance with diversity & equality rulings by having an Asian officer in the public eye. And would then jump to the conclusion that the Police were being racist by making a coloured gentleman stand outside in the cold & wet !

They then proceed inside to have a word with the desk Sergeant who's a hefty bearded bloke with breast implants & wearing a Skirt (part of the trans-gender equality ruling) to complain about the perceived racial prejudice of making a coloured officer stand outside only to be asked if they'd phoned beforehand to get a crime number, prior to coming to the station directly !

Ludicrous ? far fetched ? or really to close to the knuckle ? Welcome to modern day Britain in all it's Multi-Culti, myriad diversity & splendour, rules & regulations absurdity :)

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Doesn't anyone else have an opinion on this ? Come on people its your money they're using ! :o

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

the whole concept of it , is too pathetic to have n opinion dave, ludicrous.:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

It's typical GB 2010 cashy, we've all gone to hell on a hand cart

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Things like this, plus loads of other stupiditys are the main reason i don't give a stuff any more.:(

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Think we're both rowing the same boat now cashy:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

I take it you mean this sort of stupidity !

Express.co.uk - Home of the Daily and Sunday Express | UK News :: JP is scolded for calling cathedral vandals 'scum'

or even this ?

Express.co.uk - Home of the Daily and Sunday Express | UK News :: Villagers set up camp to foil gypsy invaders

Maybe the Police could use this to help out the pensioners to fight off the Gypo hoard who are trying to build an illegal site.

Express.co.uk - Home of the Daily and Sunday Express | UK News :: Police go on patrol in campervan

As the title says "Oh hum, it's a funny old World" only problem being I ain't laughing !! disbelieving & incomprehending would be closer to the mark !

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Yep things like that dave,plus many more like criminals having more rights than victims, criminals being let out of nick to make room fer others, the list is endless, far too much to be righted in my lifetime, so why should i waste mine bothering?:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Can you imagine, a Policeman a little strapped for cash books a personal day so that he can go moonlighting at a security firm & his first job is to guard his own station, I wonder if his sergeant would have a few words?

Thinking about it, the sergeant would have a few words and they would be something like this,
"Have you got the 'phone number of that company? I could do with some extra cash myself."

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Maybe we could have a special thread in anything goes, to publish stories like the above, it wouldn't be long before it was one of the best subscribed to threads on Accy Web:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

How very sadly true ! :(

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

It's taken about forty years to get things this bad . When is some one going to start turning the boat around and get back to something like normal like it was in the fifties.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

This started the minute the dogooding brigade thought it was a good idea to stop corporal punishment in schools. We had nothing like this in the fifties and sixties as you say acertun, but the minute that kids were given the right to run amok in class with nothing and teacher could do about it, was the beginning of the end and I'm afraid it will never be turned back

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

I think it is people having that attitude that will prevent things turning around.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Well can you ever see us going back to disciplining kids in schools, or letting the police do their jobs, or even letting parents give theirs kids a clip round the ear without ending up in court, maybe if the Guardian went bust we could stand a chance:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

A lot of the kids seem to have no respect or fear of the law . I know that some will say its cruel and unusual punishment but things seemed a lot better when we had the cat and the death penalty. There was also conscription. That brought a lot of people back into line.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Or stopped them going out of line in the first place

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Now,Now, remember the old saying= Brats will be Brats.:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

:D... maybe I'm out of line here, but this has jumped from teachers being able to punish schoolboys to the death penalty.... seems a bit over the top for kids who "get out of hand" :).. conscription may have brought people back into line but didn't do much for with the Kray twins...:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

It did very well for the millions of other conscripts though.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

With the new "Equality act" coming into force today, is it really going to be a help or more of a hindrance ?

Equality Act: firms must not ask job applicants about health - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Oh Hum as the title of this thread says:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Looks like you'll be back to work soon then Jay?
:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Is that an offer to push the wheelchair Less:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Looks like there could be light at the end of the tunnel of stupidty. Let's hope more of these feral youths, scumbags, call them what you may, appear before Judge Gareth Hawkesworth.

Resident who fired catapult at gang of troublemakers wins court battle - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Bloody Hell a Judge with common sense:mosher:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

No chance, a typical Tory like you would keep the brakes on just to make this piece of factory fodder work harder.
:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

For you Less I'd even drag my feet too:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

In the snooker hall under the King's Hall everything would suddenly go quiet as the door slammed open - standing at the top of the steps would be Det Sgt Sargeson.
He would point out the ones he thought or knew who were under age and they had to leave - past him.
One hell of a clout behind the ear, no complaints about that, same if you got caught underage in a pub - instant justice and no crying to Mum and Dad.
Where did it all go wrong?

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

How about this for a start..Crime likely to rise as ConDem government slash police budgets by £125million - mirror.co.uk... now this is just one warning from Police chief.. and there are many more...it's all very well to slag of the last Governments attemps to fight crime .. fighting crime costs money..but this present Government have the idea that less spent on our Police means less crime.. very strange.. but here we go!

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Look on the bright side - fewer police means less chance of being tazered during the revolution.;)

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Some might get a kick out of tazerings. Mind you it wont be the revolutionaries. :eek:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

You could taser Mancie and he still wouldn't talk any sense:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

I know it's Halloween & all that, but come on :-

Police given advice on witches and pagans - Telegraph

But the best thing about it was this comment posted by one of the readers :-

http://mediacdn.disqus.com/uploads/u...jpg?1276530529 Old Goat
Today 10:04 AM


Recommended by
36 people



To the police.

I know for certain, that the following are witches. Please arrange for their arrest, summary ducking, and in the worst cases, a barbecue:

Cherie Blair, Harriet Harman, Caroline Lucas, Jacqie Smith, and others of that ilk.

They are accused that on divers dates, they did do witchy things, and are generally hags and tarts.

Made my Day, haven't had such a chuckle in ages :s_aim1: Eeh ! fair near widdled meself !

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Sounds like thee and me have a similar sense of humour Dave:mosher::D:D:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Brilliant Dave, read the article, thought it was a 1st of April joke but didn't read the letters page or blog.
Wonder how much this cost and if the Senior Police Officer that Mancie quoted could justify this - or even comment on it?

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Me too, but it was in today's paper so has happened recently, absolute belter isn't it ?

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

The demolition government cuts in fighting crime, or even bringing those convicted of crime to boot makes things look pretty grim...this is no April fools joke..it is typical tory policey.. lie,get power, then destroy..18,000 fewer police.

SPENDING REVIEW 2010: More criminals spared prison and 18k fewer police | Mail Online

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

The "Mail" Mancie, the nerve of these people, just as well the "Mail" can be relied on to report such injustices eh? Like this for example ;)

Labour's early prisoner release scheme is scrapped | Mail Online

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Take no notice of Mancie Dave, he always mocks me for quoting the Mail, but doesn't hesitate to use it himself if he agrees with one of their "made up story's"

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

It's been reported in most papers Dave.. I chose to post the mail because if I'd posted the guardian, I would have had that tory bloke on here saying it was all left wing rubbish! ;) :D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

But it's the propaganda oracle of the enemy classes ! If you carry on reading that folk will start to think .... DAH..DAH..DA ! :eek: You're a closet TORY !:s_aim1:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

You know that Tory bloke too well Mancie:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Well Dave me can be a closet Dave but never a Tory:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Eh ? Pass ! Next question please. :confused:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Just one of Jaysay's "out here" posts

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

An old thread I know, but after reading this particular little gem today. Do I really need to say anything here ?

London 2012 Olympics: torch relay police officers 'to get counselling' - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

That just about takes the biscuit - am going home myself tomorrow after 3 weeks away. Will suggest counselling for the family as they get used to my being back, my presence might upset any new equilibrium!:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

No think the headline says it all DIG;)

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

thought some1 like yourself would welcome more men in costumes or is that grinda? :thefinger

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Crawl back under your stone

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

As the title says it's a funny old world ;)

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Regularly it's with new amazement that I find out my idea of the pressing problems that face the Country are challenged. Happily I now know it's not the crises with the Euro or Euro zone, gawd no, not even the lack of jobs & unemployment, a mere inconvenience, the economy & recession, housing, even immigration is just a piffling diversion, how foolish I've been, no the real problem is kids, well babies to be more precise, so that's it then, Dave & chums have come up with the answer ? UK's problems will soon be solved ? :rolleyes:

No 10 guide to changing nappies and baby talk - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

A monumental waste of money. This smacks of 'Blair' type window dressing.
It will not be accessed by the people who truly NEED skills in parenting...(well not unless the vouchers can be sold on to buy something that these feckless parents see as more interesting)....and where is the money coming from...what services are being dispensed with, in order to pay for this smoke and mirrors ploy.

PS........I do hope Mancie is reading this. It might dispel the myth that I support this government.

There is so much in the country that needs urgent attention, but the government just tinker around the edges with stuff that has little relevance to the real problems.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Well in our day its was the kind of skills you learned from your parents, not some government gimmick, I do wonder sometimes just what goes on in the minds of politicians. Even animals know how to bring up their young its called instinct, and humans are supposed to be far more superior, the mind really does boggle

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Does Mr Cameron have parenting skills or are "ones" children looked after by "ones" nanny?

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Well there you go, a good old fashioned weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth, fire & brimstone, pits of hell, pulpit thumping, bible bashing rant from the Rt Rev. Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle ............. so now you know why we're up a certain creek, minus paddle. ;)
Floods are judgment on society, say bishops - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Is this guy a descendant of Noah:confused::D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

When I went for my walk along the canal the other day I heard lots of sawing and banging.......I wondered if it was Noah....then chap shouted...'Tha'll need a lot moor wood than that tha knows'....so maybe it WAS Noah!

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Were there any cones about Margaret:eek::eek::eek:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

No John...not that I noticed.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

It just gets better don't it ? :rolleyes:

Ministers to pay private companies to wake up and drive teenagers to work - Telegraph

So much for learning to be self sufficient, standing on your own 2 feet & making something of yourself.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Now I know why I don't watch the news anymore, stops me pulling what little hair I still have out of my head, whats wrong with the flaming bus

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

But they'd have to sleepwalk to the bus if no one came to wake them up first!

Did anyone see the programme last week on BBC1 with Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford, about pensioners going back to work in Preston? They contrasted them with some youngsters who were taken on for the same work. The attitudes of the teenagers made me wonder where we are headed if that is the future - I think three of the six took the second day off their new job with a so-called "tummy bug" or personal problems they wouldn't discuss and none of them phoned in to tell their employer. OK so the pensioners may have lost their fitness to do some of the work and weren't enjoying it any more but I bet they would have struggled in or at least let someone know.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Well I had to get up and catch the bus to work susie when I first left school, mind you the Nanny State hadn't landed on our shores then:mad:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

In this headline the word 'drive' is used in the context meaning to impel or urge NOT in the context of getting in a car. Vehicles are not mentioned. And the headline is relevant to one scheme in a multitude of schemes to help kids get into employment. It's basically paying someone to be a 'knocker-up'. (Used to be a valid job once, why not again?)

Personally I dont see the general idea as a bad thing, the only issue I have with it is putting these kids back into education. These kids are already labelled as 'academical failures' because they have not gone on to further education. Why on earth set them up to fail again.

I'm so tired of people of a certain age attacking the kids of today. When most of us were that age you could quit a job at dinner time, knock on a few doors and find another by tea time. Companies like BT, British Gas, Norweb etc..were taking apprentices by the hundred. Bulloughs and GEC had 2000+ workers each. There were umpteen sewing factories, Rists, Textile Mouldings. The list is endless

Things are not like that now, the kids who get out and look for work are constantly knocked back, they get disheartened and give up.

I think that Cleggs idea is worth running with, it's much better thought out than YTS and the open to abuse apprenticeship scheme

And don't even get me started on those biased, surgically edited, one sided, headline grabbing, stereotype reinforcing BBC fly on the wall documentaries.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Well i think its ludicrous, When knocker ups were about, i doubt very much if many (if Any) people had or could afford alarm clocks, It aint a case of knocking the kids, Its a simple case of em learning to stand on own 2 feet, n becoming independent, not rocket science to me.:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Maybe so, but I reckon the word was deliberately used in the headline to make folks think that cars were involved, not the other meaning.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Nail on head cashy

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

The target group of kids here are 16-17 year olds with no academic qualifications whatsoever.

Chances are they have been abandoned by the education system from an early age when they showed no aptitude for academia, thrown into the bottom stream, allowed to leave school at the earliest opportunity.

These were the kids that used to end up working with their hands, some of whom made fortunes doing it, problem is we aint got those kinda jobs available anymore. Manufacturing is all but non-existant and small businesses like mechanics, builders, electricians etc.. won't give them a chance because of the extra health and safety risk assessments and hoops they have to jump through when kids work.

Something needs to be done to save these kids from becoming the next generation of Jeremy Kyle viewers/participants.

I'm no liberal do gooder, but I can see where Clegg is coming from here. £2,200 a head spent now is far better than paying a lifetime of benefits.

Oh and this is the source of the non-story about 'driving kids to school'

Radical Scheme To Rescue NEETS Kicks Off Today

'PPDG will also provide a one stop shop for integrated youth services with varying levels of support to help young people. This will include, for example, family conferencing, wake-up calls to help young people develop a routine, bite-sized English and maths courses and weekend/evening activities.'

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Gremlin I hear what your saying, but we've heard it all before, the problem we have now started back in the sixties and seventies and with some families its an ingrained way of life, mummy and daddy don't work why should I, the trouble is they get through because its easier to cash a giro once a fortnight (mind you they don't do that now its paid straight into their bank accounts) and when they're better off sat at home rather than working what are they going to do

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Why not ? Let's open another can shall we ?

Problem families 'have too many children’ - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Well the thing is you see time and again stories where there are 10 11 12 children in a family and the mother always seems to say I JUST LOVE KIDS, um I suppose its fine when your not paying for um:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Let's not get religious here but...

If most Catholics didn't take the pill, we could be over run and blessing the pope!

:hidewall:

Thank goodness that common sense overtakes most religious and maternal dictates.
:)

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Well My Mother was a catholic and she decided that they could only afford one bread snatcher, mind you I was a big baby, if more people cut their cloth according to their width instead of expecting the state to rear their over crowded homes maybe things would be better

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Was??? Aren't you still, John?? :p:dummy2::dummy:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

lololol:D:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

To be honest the way things are going I'll soon be in that boat, but there again you'll know all about that:rolleyes:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

But not with Skeggies "Jolly fisherman" if the loonies have their way. ;)


Jolly Fisherman loses his welcome in 'health and safety' redesign - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

The mind really does boggle Dave, where is this crap all going to end. They actually go to university to become and elf and safety officer, seems more like they've graduated from a lunatic asylum

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

A story to raise a smile (from Aussie land), based on a Brit prototype. :)

Wheel Clamp Man with his hard hat and angle grinder on the streets of Perth - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Give the man a carrot:D

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

All this hoo-ha about how burglars should be handled by home owners in to-days touchy feely times .......... what utter piffle, here's your answer from days gone by. ;)

Defending your home was an issue in 1909 - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

A little snippet for your perusal, Welsh Wales eh, always knew there was something iffy about 'em ! :D

Witchcraft 'thriving in the Welsh countryside' - Telegraph

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Whatever do you expect?

The mines have been closed, pit choirs disbanded, the only thing left for them is rugby and rural practices.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Those wouldn't be the "rural practices" that involve sheep, would they?;)

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

I couldn't say, but if you don't want one as ugly and smelly as a full back I suggest you get there early.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

I like this one:

MPs call for, in private at least, a 32% pay rise | Politics | The Guardian

:rofl38::rofl38::rofl38:

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

No deffo 32% according to the BBC
BBC News - MPs call for '32% salary increase'

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Obviously our local mp isn't involved in this particular money grabbing, self serving, pocket lining disgrace.












He'd have asked for 95%.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

From the Beeb: BBC News - MPs call for '32% salary increase'

On average, Tories said their salary should be £96,740, while Lib Dems thought the right amount was £78,361 and Labour £77,322. Other parties put the figure at £75,091.

I wonder what the public think their MPs are worth, or do 95% just not care?

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

I have said before that they are not paid enough.

There is something wrong when several Councils chief execs are paid more than the PM

This story is almost 3 years old and talks about senior council officer pay in this area http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk...ng__pay_rises/

You know the old saying, pay peanuts get monkeys

Well if you don't pay MP's enough to attract the right people we need to sort the country out you can't complain when we can only select monkeys on election day.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Coudn't agree more Neil, well said.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Just did a check. Seems like Canadian MPs earn quite a bit ... 99,486.18 UK pounds. This amount is frozen, for now, by Act of Parliament. That's damn good pay. However, our local MP, Ted Hsu, seems as if he is good value for the money. I didn't vote for him, and I won't be voting for him in the next election. But I have talked to him a couple of times, and he was very helpful, even tho' he knows I'm a supporter of the NDP.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

The trouble is when we pay top whack & STILL get monkeys !!! It's the execs in the Councils / NHS / BBC etc. who get paid too much not the MPs who get paid too little. (And remember many MPs would still find the time to have 2nd jobs however much you paid them for being an MP.) My 2p.

Re: Oh Hum its a funny old world
 

Stupid arguments!
Councils are overpaying their chief execs...so we should overpay MP's to bring them into line
We pay bankers a fortune to deal with the finances of this country, in fact we reward them for screwing up....where's your pay peanuts get monkeys on that one then?
Give me an argument for paying Gordon Brown £96k when he hasn't even set foot in the commons for 8 months..or an argument for MP's who are absent from most of the votes to receive £96k..or one for MP's who vote against the wishes of their constituents because they think they knnow better
No matter how much these backstabbing, two faced MP's are paid, it will never be enough to stop them from screwing every single £1 they can from the taxpayers, whether its on fiddling expenses, fact finding trips to barabados or gilt edged pensions