Sad Christmas

Acrylic-bob · 22-11-2005, 18:30

I have to admit that I am heartily sick of Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol. I am so sick of it that I am tempted to re-write it so that Tiny Tim dies of starvation just before Scrooge bursts in with the Christmas Dinner.

Which got me thinking, Everyone must have their favourite slice of yuletide black humour, or sentimental seasonal mawkishness with just a touch of mordant wit.

Here's one, it comes from America, oddly enough, and it made me laugh. Perhaps after reading it you will think "Gosh, I could do better than that!" and will be tempted to share?

Lets see....

Sad Christmas Story

Several weekends ago, I was rushing around trying to do some shopping. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the weather right then. It was dark, unseasonably cold, and wet in the parking lot.
As I was loading my car up, I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So, mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to th mall entrance.
As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill. Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred-dollar bill in his hand.
Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong. He told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and four sisters. His father had died when he was nine years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full-time jobs, She made very little to support her large family.
Nevertheless, she had managed to skimp and save two hundred dollars to buy her children some presents (since she didn't manage to get them anything on their birthdays). His mother had dropped off the young boy on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus home.
He had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.
"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked. The boy said, "I did." "And nobody came to help you?" I queried.
The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head. "How loud did you scream?" I inquired.
The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"
I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help. So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.

chav1 · 22-11-2005, 18:33

then gary glitter approached him , put his arm around him and whispered gently in his ear that everything was going to be ok and did he want to earn $200

edit:

you did ask us to share AB

Margaret Pilkington · 22-11-2005, 18:52

well, A-B......I have to say that I didn't laugh very much. It reminded me too much of what it was like to be a large poor family at Christmas.....my mother had two jobs too.

Tinkerbelle · 22-11-2005, 19:21

I'm sorry! I know it's sick but I did actually chuckle at that

SPUGGIE J · 22-11-2005, 19:23

For everyone having a good christmas I wonder how many are having a bad one?
Sometimes I think we take christmas for granted and that all is well in world.

Tinkerbelle · 22-11-2005, 19:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J

For everyone having a good christmas I wonder how many are having a bad one?
Sometimes I think we take christmas for granted and that all is well in world.

Everything is well ............ as long as you remember to defrost the turkey properly

SPUGGIE J · 22-11-2005, 19:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

Everything is well ............ as long as you remember to defrost the turkey properly

Good point nowt worse than a chilly bird at christmas.

chav1 · 22-11-2005, 20:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J

Good point nowt worse than a chilly bird at christmas.

unless your an eskimo

vorlon24 · 22-11-2005, 20:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J

Good point nowt worse than a chilly bird at christmas.

I was going to say "Yes, just ask Tinks"

But I thought better of it!

chav1 · 22-11-2005, 20:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by vorlon24

I was going to say "Yes, just ask Tinks"

But I thought better of it!

unfortunatly commen sense didnt kick in b4 you posted that you thought of it lol

me quoting you dosnt help either

Tinkerbelle · 22-11-2005, 20:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J

Good point nowt worse than a chilly bird at christmas.

I agree

Quote:

Originally Posted by vorlon24

I was going to say "Yes, just ask Tinks"

Of course he can ask me ....... a hot bird

SPUGGIE J · 22-11-2005, 21:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

I agree

Of course he can ask me ....... a hot bird

T is that hot she's smokin or is that the turkey burning in the oven?
Thought mi mother in law was up here, must have sneaked into Accy.

vorlon24 · 22-11-2005, 21:04

At least I didn't have to duck that time!

garinda · 22-11-2005, 23:00

The ghostly vision we call Garinda, stands at the end of A-bernezer's Care Bear's four poster bed, the one with the matching pelmet.

'Whoooooooo. Whhhhhhhoooooooo. Whhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooo.'

A-bernezer awakens to see the vision of wispy loveliness. Garinda decides to ignore the little tent that has appeared under the Care Bears duvet.

'A-bernezer Scrouge, you've been a miserable old ****** all year.'

'You will give poor tiny Tim more than a goose this Christmas. You'll give him stuffing as well, with all the trimmings.'

A-bernezer sees that Garinda is right, and from now on he'll be as giddy as a giddy kipper that's had to much of his favorite gin.

God bless us, each and every one, even old A-bernezer.

chav1 · 22-11-2005, 23:14

Care Bear duvet and playing tents should never be spoken in th same thread and if tiny tim is so tiny its no wonder hes not the one doing the stuffing

and giddy kippers dont drink gin thats a tarts drink