Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

We have now made 150 threads between us on the differences between men and women and everything has been said "tongue in cheek." It has been fun and I thank you all.

I now leave this thread with a small film clip that shows that love for the opposite sex can conquer all so just maybe, we have the same goals in mind, but just have a different way of applying them...take care ladies x


http://www.frontsteps.com/creations/...p?t=1109380676

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

SORRY!!:D Got sent this..and could not resist passing it on!






In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do
something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's
the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:


SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return
with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)



HER BIRTHDAY



You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colours of your favourite team (-10)



A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)



YOUR PHYSIQUE


You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)




ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)




COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realises this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)



I think I have scored errr, minus sumfing........:p

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

Busman I have told you before please do not put things like this on at this time of night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, the more I try not to laugh(stop waking hubby up) the more I snot everywhere and run back and foward to toilet.......................... GOOD ONE ANYWAY LMAO.:D

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

As a Newcastle trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather,
And you are losing some of your load!"

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck
stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out Of
her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the
window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my
name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of
breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck
door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name is
Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next
light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and
runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it,
he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, its winter in Newcastle, and I'm driving
a f*****g Gritter!!!!!

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

this is why i never shop with the mrs lol

http://www.weaselcircus.com/funnypics/shopping.jpg

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."



Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.



He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."



He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax.
Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, " ..let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box".

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

Can anyone spot the blondes in this photo????? (apart from the hair!)

http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/a...tid=3223&stc=1

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/pr...&NameFirstFrom=

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY???

Re: An easy way to commit suicide...lol
 

Dogs Better Than Wives