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Welcome to Accrington Web! We are a discussion forum dedicated to the towns of Accrington, Oswaldtwistle and the surrounding areas, sometimes referred to as Hyndburn! We are a friendly bunch please feel free to browse or read on for more info. You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, photos, play in the community arcade and use our blog section. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please, join our community today! |
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30-03-2005, 15:30
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Always EVIL within us
  
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Accrington
Posts: 1,568
Blog Entries: 4
Liked: 40 times
Rep Power: 1667
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Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
Its been a while since he has last been mentioned on the Accy web but elsewhere, he is very much a "hot" topic.
The nation seems divided as to whether he is a dirty old perv....or just a sad boy dressed up in a mans body.......... Aaah, NOT!! Here are a few items that I have collected from other forums  Q: Why are M.J's pants so small? A: Because they are not his. Q: What did the man on the beach say to M.J? A: Get out of my sun. Q: What would you do if M.J. was drowning? A: Throw him a buoy. (they DO improve honest  )Q: What is the difference between M.J. and Jasper? A: One is pale and scares kids...and the other is a friendly ghost. Q: What is the difference between a supermarket bag and M.J? A: One is white, made of plastic and should be kept away from small children and the other is used to carry groceries! Q: How do you know when its bedtime at the Neverland ranch? A: When the big hand touches the small hand  Q: Why can you always win a race against M.J? (This one IS sick!) A: Because he likes to come in a little behind... Q: What did M.J. say to Gary Glitter? A: I'll swap you two 5's for a 10. Q: Whats the difference between M.J. and greyhound racing? A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out! And my favourite little story...... Janet and Miichael Jackson were at home one night... Janet: "Shall we get a pizza and video?" Michael: "Yeah ok, can we get Aladdin?" Janet: " NO! just a pizza and video"  gggggggggggggggggggggg- - - - - - - - - - - - - While awaiting this trial, Michael has written a book, Its to be called................ "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing." hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- - - - - - - - - - - - - - There is a new video out showing how the trial has progressed up to this time It is called "NEVER COPPED A FEEL" http://www.frontsteps.com/creations/1001/139/index.php?t=1110587003
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Pray that there is intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's Bu""er all down here on Earth - (Eric Idle) |
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30-03-2005, 15:39
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#3 |
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I am Banned
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,688
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Re: Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
Roflmao!!!! ive heard some of them but still funny just hope i dont get into the same trouble as the last time MJ was mentioned cos i laughed LOL
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30-03-2005, 15:55
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#5 | |
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I am Banned
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,688
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Re: Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
Quote:
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30-03-2005, 16:02
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#6 |
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Full Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Blackpool,Lancashire
Posts: 493
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Re: Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
LMAO...................Heard most of them but still funny!!
Lets see if they get censored........lol |
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30-03-2005, 21:07
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#7 |
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Always EVIL within us
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Accrington
Posts: 1,568
Blog Entries: 4
Liked: 40 times
Rep Power: 1667
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Re: Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
Oo 'er, Is anyone aware of any M.Jackson fans on the Acy web??
 Michael Jackson (slight...30-03-2005 17:05need i explain why.Its always a shame when people can't show some sort of sense of humour...or at least stand up for what they believe in by signing their name. Can I just say to this person that probably well over 50% of the worlds population consider him guilty as hell for a crime that is on a par with murder and even if he is found not guilty, it will be through expensive lawyers and not because he is innocent,so are you going to deduct karma from everyone? Karma points mean nothing but a bit of verbal on the thread means a lot as it shows differing opinions which is what a message board is all about, not some lurking invisible member that kicks people on the shins if their thoughts do not match yours. Have a nice day..or two (until the trial reaches a conclusion)
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Pray that there is intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's Bu""er all down here on Earth - (Eric Idle) |
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30-03-2005, 21:18
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#8 |
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Always EVIL within us
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Accrington
Posts: 1,568
Blog Entries: 4
Liked: 40 times
Rep Power: 1667
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Re: Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
I think I stated my thoughts of Jackson when I started this thread by using material that shows him in his true guise. I would normally leave it like that but decided to give the karma nicker something to think about before going to bed this evening to dream of his/her hero.......
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4111
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Pray that there is intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's Bu""er all down here on Earth - (Eric Idle) |
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30-03-2005, 21:34
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#9 |
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God Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: on the edge of insanity
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Re: Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
Oh dear the sad sack nameless karma nicker on duty again (and yes you can take karma from me for that comment I don't mind honestly
) as I've said before humour is a personal thing, I'm not convinced of his guilt, I'm waiting for the outcome of his trial but while I'm waiting I will spend it laughing at great jokes that are posted about him. Great stuff busman I love it!
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Last edited by Tinkerbelle; 31-03-2005 at 01:13. |
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30-03-2005, 21:43
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#10 |
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Always EVIL within us
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Accrington
Posts: 1,568
Blog Entries: 4
Liked: 40 times
Rep Power: 1667
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Re: Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
.....And I appreciate your views Tinks even when they don't agree with mine......but now I am on a mission, my apologies to you
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Pray that there is intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's Bu""er all down here on Earth - (Eric Idle) |
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31-03-2005, 00:24
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#11 |
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Senior Member+
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,252
Liked: 1 times
Rep Power: 55
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Re: Michael Jackson (slightly adult content)
Heres some more!!!!!!!!!!!
Whats different about a party at Michael Jacksons? They pass round the Under Eights.......  Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record? A: "Feel the World." Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song? A: "Don't let your son go down on me." Michael Jackson first wanted to look like Diana Ross, then a white person, now he wants to be A ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIEST. Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Little Boy Blew. Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson. Q: What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy? A: "The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!" Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song? A: "And then he touched me" I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "****ing kids!", and it played Michael Jackson. Q: What do Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common? A: Both get turned on by kids!!! Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? A: They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks. Q: What do Michael Jackson and Dr. Spock have in common? A: They both know how to rear a child. Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? A: One was the first man to walk on the moon, and the other f***s little boys. Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite holiday? A: Christmas because he gives the well behaved kids a special gift... Q: Where's Michael going on holiday? A: He's off to Tampa with the kids. Q: What do Michael Jackson and Marks and Sparks have in common? A: They both have small boys pants at half off! Q: What does Michael Jackson think of when he sees a boy in a McDonald's suit? A: A happy meal. McDonald's is bringing out a new "Michael Jackson Burger"... It has 35 year old meat inside 5 year old buns. Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small? A: Because they aren't his! Q: What's Micheal Jackson's Chinese name? A: Melikeemyoung. Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson was taken to the Emergency Room? A: He was choking on a small bone! Q: How many times does 12 go into 35? A: Ask Michael Jackson. Q: What's 6 + 46 + 5? A: A threesome with Michael Jackson.
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