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Old 28-03-2008, 17:56   #46
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by jaysay View Post
Dr Helga,
I am in urgent need of your help, are you any good at easing peoples phobias, if you are you're probably the person I've been seeking for a few weeks now, well since the 29th Jan, when I started posting again on Accy Web. I have this morbid fear of the initials GJ, please help and rid me of this blight.

Yours in anticipation
jaysay
My friend Gayle eees most gratevul you do not have zeee fear of ze letters GK. Perhaps, zeees ees can be cured by aversion therapy, you must zeeek out ze GJs. You must confront zeee GJs.
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Old 28-03-2008, 17:57   #47
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
I vill address zee rest of your probleeems very soon.
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Old 28-03-2008, 17:57   #48
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Vote Labour
Never thought Dave it could be the the reason he's having bad dreams
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:04   #49
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
Since my swelling was cured by Dr Helga, my only real problem now is keeping my mouth shut.



I've enclosed a picture, if it helps you shed any light on my inability to keep my gob shut.
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:07   #50
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
dear Dr Helga, i have been away from this site for a few days, please can you tell me whats going on in the chat room?
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:26   #51
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
Dear Helga, I play a lot of solitaire on my PC and win often
I have found that this has caused me to play solitaire in my sleep, but never win.
Can you advise me how to improve my sleeping game score?
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:29   #52
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
Dear Helga, I play a lot of solitaire on my PC and win often
I have found that this has caused me to play solitaire in my sleep, but never win.
Can you advise me how to improve my sleeping game score?


lol i did it in 38 seconds the other day, was quite proud of myself actually
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:38   #53
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by shillelagh View Post
Im sure he has workmates you dont like very much ......

I am ze leettle concerned by your 'ostilitee, Shillelagh, perhaps you vis needing to lie down on zee couch for a short vile.
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:43   #54
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by Cyfr View Post
Dr. Helga,

I need your help, whenever I drift off I have blurry visions of numbers and percentages dashing in front of me. When I manage to focus they appear to be council tax figures, I can't stop dreaming about them, what can I do??
Oh, zis ees a seevious probleem, you vill need to eraze zee numbers. I suggest you count zee sheeep instead. Or zee alternative is to put a picture of any counseeelor be zee side of your bed, you vill then 'ave zee sweet dreams.
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:44   #55
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by garinda View Post
Since my swelling was cured by Dr Helga, my only real problem now is keeping my mouth shut.



I've enclosed a picture, if it helps you shed any light on my inability to keep my gob shut.

Oh Garinda, you are my zee most favoreet of my patients and now zat i have zeen your most recent problem I zink I like you all zee more.
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:46   #56
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by flashytart View Post
dear Dr Helga, i have been away from this site for a few days, please can you tell me whats going on in the chat room?
I am a psychotherapist not a mind reader.
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:47   #57
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by Gayle View Post
I am a psychotherapist not a mind reader.


could you recommend a mind reader then?
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:48   #58
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
Dear Helga, I play a lot of solitaire on my PC and win often
I have found that this has caused me to play solitaire in my sleep, but never win.
Can you advise me how to improve my sleeping game score?
Another of zee sleeeping probalems. I zink zee probalem is who you go to zee bed vith. If you go to bed with zee right person you vill alvays get a good score.
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Old 28-03-2008, 18:48   #59
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by flashytart View Post
lol i did it in 38 seconds the other day, was quite proud of myself actually
Speeed is not alvays a goood zing ven you are scoring.
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Old 28-03-2008, 19:31   #60
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Re: Dr Helga is in the house.
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Originally Posted by Gayle View Post
I am ze leettle concerned by your 'ostilitee, Shillelagh, perhaps you vis needing to lie down on zee couch for a short vile.

I was driven to it Dr Helga ........ has my friend slinky may agree.

I think i just frustrated - grangemouth is a long way away and long distance relationships ....
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