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JohnW was waiting for Frances,
Awaiting her torid advances,

But she'd plighted her troth

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JohnW was waiting for Frances,
Awaiting her torid advances,
But she'd plighted her troth,
To Bazf and John both,

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JohnW was waiting for Frances,
Awaiting her torid advances,
But she'd plighted her troth,
To Bazf and John both,
who in turn sordid her chances

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There Once was a Man called Reg

Who Went with a Girl in a Hedge

Along came his wife

With a big Carving Knife

And cut off his meat and two veg

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On a train leaving Accy for Preston,

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On a train leaving Accy for Preston,
The driver set off with no vest on,

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On a train leaving Accy for Preston,
The driver set off with no vest on,
The passengers were blessed
By the sight of his chest

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On a train leaving Accy for Preston,
The driver set off with no vest on,
The passengers were blessed
By the sight of his chest
Which his double chin reached down to rest on.

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On a coach trip to see t' Ribble Valley,

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On a coach trip to see t' Ribble Valley,
with a flask of tea and butties for my belly,

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On a coach trip to see t' Ribble Valley,
T'driver went up wrong alley

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On a coach trip to see t' Ribble Valley,
T'driver went up wrong alley,
So where they ended up,

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On a coach trip to see t' Ribble Valley,
T'driver went up wrong alley,
So where they ended up,
was in t' Stag with lots to sup

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On a coach trip to see t' Ribble Valley,
T'driver went up wrong alley,
So where they ended up,
was in t' Stag with lots to sup,
And there the whole day they did dally.

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]On a coach trip to see t' Ribble Valley,
with a flask of tea and butties for my belly,
I vomited on the way