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There was a young lady named Rose

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There was a young lady named Rose
Who had a big zit on her nose

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There was a young lady named Rose
Who liked in the Nude to pose

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Oh b*****, why am I always last in

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OOOOOOOOO Doug, you are awful, but I like you.......

There was a young lady named Rose
Who liked in the Nude to pose
But because it was cold

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Doesn't matter Doug, we have two going, we'll finish them both.

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There was a young lady named Rose
Who liked in the Nude to pose
But because it was cold
It made her nipples quite bold

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she had a runny nose

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too fast for me fellas

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There was a young lady named Rose
Who liked in the Nude to pose
But because it was cold
It made her nipples quite bold
and then she was kissed by a toad

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thats bad doug!!!!

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OK here's the other one, whose going next?

There was a young lady named Rose
Who had a big zit on her nose

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Is it........Hahaha

She could have been a princess......

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There was a young lady named Rose
Who had a big zit on her nose
She sat on the stool

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There was a young lady named Rose
Who had a big zit on her nose
She sat on the stool
And felt like a fool

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I have one but I can't bring myself to do it.

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There was a young lady named Rose
Who had a big zit on her nose
She sat on the stool
And felt like a fool
When she realised it was congealed crows..

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I had a mental picture of a lady of care and sweetness. Now I can't even drink my beer. That has really put me off Lettie.

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Do you honestly know anyone who works for the NHS Doug, who doesn't have a sick sense of humour??


Here's the first line of another..

There was an old fella named John.....

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Yeah ok, your right but you still put me off my beer…

I did eight years (Gerries). We where very sick and spent most of our time P*****.

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There was an old fella named John.....
Who woke up cuddling a bomb?

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There was an old fella named John.....
Who woke up cuddling a bomb,
When the darned thing went off,

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There was an old fella named John.....
Who woke up cuddling a bomb,
When the darned thing went off,
He blew up through the loft,

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There was an old fella named John.....
Who woke up cuddling a bomb,
When the darned thing went off,
He blew up through the loft,
And now he is totally gone!

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In days gone, when Doug was a lad,

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In days gone, when Doug was a lad,
He was known as a bit of a cad,

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In days gone, when Doug was a lad,
He was known as a bit of a cad,
One day, while roaming around Church Kirk

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In days gone, when Doug was a lad,
He was known as a bit of a cad,
One day, while roaming around Church Kirk
He was accused of being a 'jerk'

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In days gone, when Doug was a lad,
He was known as a bit of a cad,
One day, while roaming around Church Kirk
He was accused of being a 'jerk'
"No way", he replied, "I'm hard and I'm bad"

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There was a young man called Len

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There was a young man called Len
He called into the pub now and then

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There was a young man called Len,
Wo could break wind again and again,

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There was a young man called Len
He called into the pub now and then
One day he got drunk

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There was a young man called Len,
Wo could break wind again and again,
The gas would ignite

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There was a young man called Len
He called into the pub now and then
One day he got drunk
Spewed up 'til it stunk

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There was a young man called Len,
Who could break wind again and again,
The gas would ignite
He'd take off like a kite,

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[here was a young man called Len
He called into the pub now and then
One day he got drunk
Spewed up 'til it stunk
Turned round and yelled, "I'll have another ten".

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[There was a young man called Len,
Who could break wind again and again,
The gas would ignite
He'd take off like a kite,
And that would be it. Amen.

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There was a young man called Len,
Who could break wind again and again,
The gas would ignite
He'd take off like a kite,
and then run to the loo for a Sh*te.

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Good one T!

A tealeaf swirled round in a cup,

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Come on. Someone else start one.

Len, it supposed to rhyme

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Good one T!

A tealeaf swirled round in a cup,
It was 38DD, and he was running amuck

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It does in my head.

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A gentleman walking his dog,
Got stung on the neck by a wasp,
When asked if it hurt,
He said "No not at all,
It can do it again if it likes"

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A tealeaf swirled round in a cup,
It was 38DD, and he was running amuck
Though he felt that he shouldn't

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A tealeaf swirled round in a cup,
It was 38DD, and he was running amuck
Though he felt that he shouldn't
There was no way he would'nt

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John W,the version of that limerick we were taught in maths was:

There was a young man from Dundee
Who was stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked if it hurt
He said no not all
It can do it again if it wants

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Oh, I'm going to have to be very careful with this one, I've already been in trouble today!!!!!!!!!!

A tealeaf swirled round in a cup,
It was 38DD, and he was running amuck
Though he felt that he shouldn't
There was no way he would'nt
Who could blame him - the best of Brit luck

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]A tealeaf swirled round in a cup,
It was 38DD, and he was running amuck
Though he felt that he shouldn't
There was no way he would'nt
After all, she was the one in luck!


Sorry, could'nt resist that.....

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You need to be careful, getting into trouble, John...you might end up like me.

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Tealeaf was always in trouble,

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OK..new one..

There was a young man called Sparkologist

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What's wrong with the one I started?

There was a young man called Sparkologist
Who had reason to see a psychologist

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Tealeaf was always in trouble,
Nor was he ever very subtle

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Tealeaf was always in trouble,
Nor was he ever very subtle
He was bold, he was brassy,

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Tealeaf was always in trouble,
Nor was he ever very subtle
He was bold, he was brassy,
he was criminally sassy

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Tealeaf was always in trouble,
Nor was he ever very subtle
He was bold, he was brassy,
he was criminally sassy
'Til some ****** bursted his bubble

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What's wrong with the one I started?

SorryI missed it....computer problems..

There was a young man called Sparkologist
Who had reason to see a psychologist
The Accy web was driving him crazy,

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There was a young man called Sparkologist,
Who had reason to see a psychologist,
The Accy web was driving him crazy,
And making him feel lazy

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There was a young man called Sparkologist,
Who had reason to see a psychologist,
The Accy web was driving him crazy,
And making him feel lazy
So he ended up consulting a gynacologist

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Has anyone seen that damn clock,

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Has anyone seen that damn clock
It's the one that goes Tick,Tock

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Has anyone seen that damn clock,
It's the one that goes Tick,Tock,
Well it used to, not now,

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Has anyone seen that damn clock,
It's the one that goes Tick,Tock,
Well it used to, not now,
No-one has got the know how

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Has anyone seen that damn clock,
It's the one that goes Tick,Tock,
Well it used to, not now,
No-one has got the know how
To make it play Rock round the clock

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Has anyone seen that damn clock,
It's the one that goes Tick,Tock,
Well it used to, not now,
No-one has got the know how
but we will get it back some how

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Ceejache was strumming some chords

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Ceejache was strumming some chords
Playing his guitar to the hordes

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Ceejache was strumming some chords
Playing his guitar to the hordes
When the lights all went out

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Ceejache was strumming some chords
Playing his guitar to the hordes
When the lights all went out
They all did shout

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Ceejache was strumming some chords
Playing his guitar to the hordes
When the lights all went out
They all did shout
Bloody hell lets go I'm bored

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OK Doug, you to start the next one.

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now that micks nearly 50
he still appears quite nifty

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now that micks nearly 50
he still appears quite nifty
hes just moved house

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i hope its not got a mouse

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now that micks nearly 50
he still appears quite nifty
hes just moved house
i hope its not got a mouse
Cos those bloody things are quite shifty.

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now that micks nearly 50
he still appears quite nifty
hes just moved house
i hope its not got a mouse
Cos those bloody things are quite shifty
With their long tails looking quite creepy :idunno:

.

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With their long tails looking quite creepy
I no longer feel sleepy

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With their long tails looking quite creepy
I no longer feel sleepy
'Cause I'm frightened they may

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With their long tails looking quite creepy
I no longer feel sleepy
'Cause I'm frightened they may
Jump up and whip me

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With their long tails looking quite creepy
I no longer feel sleepy
'Cause I'm frightened they may
Jump up and whip me
Oh whip me baby, whip me!

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Don't get to excited, Doug...I know the weekends due to begin

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Oh I'm excited. But whipping won't help me.......

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There was a young man called Doug
Who got excited when he went on the tug

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Oh dear, Cover your eyes sweet child...........................

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There was a young man called Doug
Who got excited when he went on the tug
But, the only thing he could pull

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easy janet she might just read this one.....lol

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There was a young man called Doug
Who got excited when he went on the tug
But, the only thing he could pull
was a transvestite from Hull

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There was a young man called Doug
Who got excited when he went on the tug
But, the only thing he could pull
was a clippy on the bus to Dill Hall

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I think I like mine better tea, Hahaha

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There was a young man called Doug
Who got excited when he went on the tug
But, the only thing he could pull
was a transvestite from Hull
My! how that made doug smug.

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[There was a young man called Doug
Who got excited when he went on the tug
But, the only thing he could pull
was a transvestite from Hull
At 30 quid a time, what a mug

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You Ba*****s, what's wrong with the nice one with the clippy from up Dill Hall

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Dill Hall don't rhyme. Right, your turn...

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It's better than a bloody fat transvestite from Hull.

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Accyweb meet, dougs on heat

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Bu**er, that not fair Janet. You said nobody would know about us...............

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Now the cats out of the bag, now everybody will know. tut, tut doug.

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You lot are giving me a bad name.....I'm innocent I tell you Innocent....... :rolleyes:

I demand satisfaction.........:signntme:

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:surprise: :oops: Sorry, now back to the thread. Your turn doug.