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Up in Bash they make bloody good pies,

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Up in Bash they make bloody good pies,
but eventually everybody dies,

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Up in Bash they make bloody good pies,
but eventually everybody dies,
Some go to heaven

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Up in Bash they make bloody good pies,
but eventually everyone dies,
Some go to heaven,
(About one in seven,)

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Up in Bash they make bloody good pies,
but eventually everyone dies,
Some go to heaven,
(About one in seven,)
and the rest they go in the pie

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On ebay today i did go

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On eBay today I did go,
Looking for something to throw,

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On eBay today I did go,
Looking for something to throw,
but what i wanted was'nt there

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On eBay today I did go,
Looking for something to throw,
but what i wanted was'nt there
so I had to settle for a pear,

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On eBay today I did go,
Looking for something to throw,
but what i wanted was'nt there
so I had to settle for a pear,
What the hell this is about I don't know!

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I remember slate and chalk,

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I remember slate and chalk,
That's because I'm quite an old bloke

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I remember slate and chalk,
That's because I'm quite an old bloke,
I remember them too,

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I remember slate and chalk,
That's because I'm quite an old bloke,
I remember them too,
was I with you two,

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I remember slate and chalk,
That's because I'm quite an old bloke,
I remember them too,
was I with you two,
Ay, wi' lots o' other owd folk.

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There was a young man called Ceejache
Whose brain was all in a mash

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There was a young man called Ceejache,
Whose brain was all in a mash,
They drilled into his skull,

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There was a young man called Ceejache,
Whose brain was all in a mash,
They drilled into his skull,
A nd found it full

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There was a young man called Ceejache,
Whose brain was all in a mash,
They drilled into his skull,
A nd found it full
of nothing but rubbish and hash

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Oh my, "T" what has "C" done to deserve that then eh?

All turntablers upset big "T",

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All turntablers upset big "T"
They're S**t, not worth a P

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All turntablers upset big "T"
They're S**t, not worth a "P"
He'll break all their fingers,

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All turntablers upset big "T"
They're S**t, not worth a "P"
He'll break all their fingers,
then make sure he lingers

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All turntablers upset big "T"
They're S**t, not worth a "P"
He'll break all their fingers,
then make sure he lingers
like an Iraqi with a stinger

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Tealeaf]All turntablers upset big "T"
They're S**t, not worth a "P"
He'll break all their fingers,
then make sure he lingers
while they go feet first, in concrete, in the sea.


See Doug....that last line ryhmes with the first...

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Right, I've been making a B******s of it then? Never mind I'll do better next Time..lol

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Mr Chirac wants some cash,

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Mr Chirac wants some cash,
So Bazf is breaking out, all in a rash

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Mr Chirac wants some cash,
So Bazf is breaking out, all in a rash,
about Mr tea's BP, Chirac and his stash,

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]Mr Chirac wants some cash,
So Bazf is breaking out, all in a rash,
about Mr tea's BP, Chirac and his stash,
Which means that this will not rhyme

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Mr Chirac wants some cash,
So Bazf is breaking out, all in a rash,
about Mr tea's BP, Chirac and his stash,
Which means that this will not rhyme,
but it won't stop Tea have a bash,

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]Mr Chirac wants some cash,
So Bazf is breaking out, all in a rash,
about Mr tea's BP, Chirac and his stash,
Which means that this will not rhyme,
But Doug will do better, next time.

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ok,ok, I'll buy you a pint if you stop...............

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Ok,ok, I'll buy you a pint if you stop.
Said Doug to T, while drinking his pop

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Ok,ok, I'll buy you a pint if you stop.
Said Doug to T, while drinking his pop
He tried to bribe,

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I will get even Miss Ellie!! lol.

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Ok,ok, I'll buy you a pint if you stop.
Said Doug to T, while drinking his pop
He tried to bribe,
but sent the wrong vibe

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Ok,ok, I'll buy you a pint if you stop.
Said Doug to T, while drinking his pop
He tried to bribe,
but sent the wrong vibe
So "T" slopped Doug's pop on his mop-top!

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Miss Ellie was going to Dallas,

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Miss Ellie was going to Dallas,
To chase all the fellas,

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Miss Ellie was going to Dallas,
To chase all the fellas,
When she got off the train,

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Miss Ellie was going to Dallas,
To chase all the fellas,
When she got off the train
it began to rain

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Miss Ellie was going to Dallas,
To chase all the fellas,
When she got off the train
it began to rain
So she ended up using a phallus...


(I know that's bad, but I couldn't think of anything else)

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My oh my that Lettie is rude,

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My oh my that Lettie is rude,
Her comments are positively lewd,

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My oh my that Lettie is rude,
Her comments are positively lewd,
They're all about nooky

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My oh my that Lettie is rude,
Her comments are positively lewd,
They're all about nooky
And I'll bet she's no rooky

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My oh my that Lettie is rude,
Her comments are positively lewd,
They're all about nooky
And I'll bet she's no rooky
You can bet she's known many a dude.
___________________________

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Tealeaf's in sunshine today,

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Tealeaf's in sunshine today,
so it should be beer & play

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Tealeaf's in sunshine today,
so it should be beer & play,
But he's having to work,

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Tealeaf's in sunshine today,
so it should be beer & play,
But he's having to work,
- something he would never shirk

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Tealeaf's in sunshine today,
so it should be beer & play,
But he's having to work,
- something he would never shirk,
or he'd be in the soup line to stay

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Tealeaf's in sunshine today,
so it should be beer & play,
But he's having to work,
something he would never shirk,
So he won't get a roll in the hay.

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Do they have woman where you are John?

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Why do you ask Mr. D.?

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There was a strange question from Doug

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There was a strange question from Doug,
Perhaps he's in need of a hug,

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There was a strange question from Doug,
Perhaps he's in need of a hug,
Or something very much more

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There was a strange question from Doug,
Perhaps he's in need of a hug,
Or something very much more
Like in the need to score

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There was a strange question from Doug,
Perhaps he's in need of a hug,
Or something very much more
Like in the need to score
In front of the fire on the rug.

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Pussycat's gone changed her name,

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pussycats gone changed her name

bet shes as randy all the same

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There was a strange question from Doug,
Perhaps he's in need of a hug,
Or something very much more
Like in the need to score
In front of the fire on the rug.


Did I really ask for that?

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hahahahahaa ye probably a few thought that

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shurm u cheeky ******!!!!

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Pussycat's gone changed her name,
Bet shes as randy all the same,
We'll have to ask Wingy,

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Pussycat's gone changed her name,
Bet shes as randy all the same,
We'll have to ask Wingy,
What she did with his thingy

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Pussycat's gone changed her name,
Bet shes as randy all the same,
We'll have to ask Wingy,
What she did with his thingy
May be she dipped it in his shandy

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Pussycat's gone changed her name,
Bet shes as randy all the same,
We'll have to ask Wingy,
What she did with his thingy,
And if she ignited his flame!

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Janet was out on a date,

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Janet was out on a date,
As usual she turned up late,

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Janet was out on a date,
As usual she turned up late,
When she finally made it,

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JohnW]Janet was out on a date,
As usual she turned up late,
When she finally made it,
he was a one -legged old git

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Janet was out on a date,
As usual she turned up late,
When she finally made it,
he was a one -legged old git,
So Jan said, "On yer bike mate"

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Be a bit difficult riding a bike with one leg methinks. Good one though Yerself, are you going to start us off with another?

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Sparkologist was bound for China

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Sparkologist was bound for China,
They couldn't get anyone fina',

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Sparkologist was bound for China,
They couldn't get anyone fina',
But when he arrived

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Sparkologist was bound for China,
They couldn't get anyone fina',
But when he arrived
the chinese contrived

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Sparkologist was bound for China,
They couldn't get anyone fina',
But when he arrived
the chinese contrived
So sparkie got ****ed with the driver:)

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Sparkologist was bound for China,
They couldn't get anyone fina',
But when he arrived
the chinese contrived
To pack him off to Asia Minor.

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There was a hell of a storm in Accy

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There was a hell of a storm in Accy,
the day they seized the baccy

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There was a hell of a storm in Accy,
the day they seized the baccy
No tax had been paid

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There was a hell of a storm in Accy,
the day they seized the baccy,
No tax had been paid,
for the gobbling tea's maid,

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There was a hell of a storm in Accy,
the day they seized the baccy,
No tax had been paid,
for the gobbling tea's maid,
Oh dear.....this is getting pretty tacky

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Its a Friday night and I'm off for a pint

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Think yourself lucky tea, it could have worse. I'm having a bad day..............

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The "calm room" is open to all,

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The "calm room" is open to all,
But be careful you dont fall,

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The "calm room" is open to all,
But be careful you dont fall,
As you walk through the door,

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The "calm room" is open to all,
But be careful you dont fall,
As you walk through the door,
Coz u will be flat on the floor

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The "calm room" is open to all,
But be careful you dont fall,
As you walk through the door,
Coz u will be flat on the floor
And calm, you won't be at all.

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To the market our Ellie did go,

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To the market our Ellie did go,
To buy a Teletubby, name of Po,

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To the market our Ellie did go,
To buy a Teletubby, name of Po
When she got to the stall,

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To the market our Ellie did go,
To buy a Teletubby, name of Po
When she got to the stall,
She couldn't find one at all,

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To the market our Ellie did go
to buy a Teletubby, name of Po
When she got to the stall
She couldn't find one at all,
So she bought a Fimble called Roly Mo

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Good stuff guys, Grego, you get the honour of starting our next one.