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Accyweb meet, Dougs on heat
He's a handsome chap with

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Accyweb meet, Dougs on heat
He's a handsome chap with
a need for a crap

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Are you saying I'm full of it Janet?

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I would not be so bold as to say that.

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Be careful they might think we’re flirt in

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Hello, Hello, Hello. Watch out it's P.C Plod. :stop:

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What for Janet?

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For going off thread.

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Thank god for that...I thought I'd something Wrong..........hahaha

Go on then, get on with it and Abuse me some more.........

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help t
his site has got out of hand .......... right .. new word


blackpool tower

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pleasure beach....ooops sorry yea i have he he he

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Hehehehe, Mez, are you drunk??? :drunk: I think you've posted on here instead of word thread..

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OK, continuing the theme, here's the start of a new one:

When Mez had one over the eight,

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She arrived home in one hell of a state

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When Mez had one over the eight,
She arrived home in one hell of a state,
She could hardly stand up,

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When Mez had one over the eight,
She arrived home in one hell of a state,
She could hardly stand up,
Then did a big trump,

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When Mez had one over the eight,
She arrived home in one hell of a state,
She could hardly stand up,
Then did a big trump,
And blew off her new garden gate!

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Yerself had a day out in Rhyl,

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Yerself had a day out in Rhyl,
he thought it would be a big thrill,

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Yerself had a day out in Rhyl,
he thought it would be a big thrill,
He went for a paddle

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Yerself had a day out in Rhyl,
he thought it would be a big thrill,
He went for a paddle
And found a saddle

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Yerself had a day out in Rhyl,
he thought it would be a big thrill,
He went for a paddle
And found a saddle
resulting in a sore arse, and a big bill.

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There was a young man called Kipax

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There was a young man called Kipax
Who chopped down a tree with a pick axe

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There was a young man called Kipax
Who chopped down a tree with a pick axe
then he picked up the birds nests

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There was a young man called Kipax,
Who chopped down a tree with a pick axe,
then he picked up the birds' nests
Placed them over his wife's breasts,

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There was a young man called Kipax,
Who chopped down a tree with a pick axe,
then he picked up the birds' nests
Placed them over his wife's breasts,
Then drew round them with tipex.

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Good one Janet, do you want to start us off with another?

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The Arndale Clock Was For The Chop

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The Arndale Clock Was For The Chop,
We all said "No!" but they wouldn't stop,

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The Arndale Clock Was For The Chop,
We all said "No!" but they wouldn't stop,
So all we could do was shop, shop, shop

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The Arndale Clock Was For The Chop,
We all said "No!" but they wouldn't stop,
"we'll have a cafe instead" said one bright spark,

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The Arndale Clock Was For The Chop,
We all said "No!" but they wouldn't stop,
"we'll have a cafe instead" said one bright spark,
"Yea, we'll charge daft prices, it'll be quite a lark,

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The Arndale Clock Was For The Chop,
We all said "No!" but they wouldn't stop,
"we'll have a cafe instead" said one bright spark,
"Yea, we'll charge daft prices, it'll be quite a lark
and no-one in accy will have a nark//

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There once was a lady named Mez,

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There once was a lady named Mez,
Who, on her head, wore a fez

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It didn't fit right, it was a little too tight

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There once was a lady named Mez,
Who, on her head, wore a fez
It didn't fit right
it was a little too tight
Oooh, "I need a new one" she sez....

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Laureate of Church Kirk………..I think not lettie. I’ll buy you a pint on Saturday if you stop….lol

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We can't all be talented Doug.... Hehehehe, I'll take you up on that pint though. Here's another..



Wingy was driving his car..

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Me neither lettie, it’s a bit like the kettle and the pot isn’t it……..A pint it is.

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and he started to follow a star

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brightly guiding him straight to a bar

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but he was too short
to see what he thought
were the pumps so near yet so far!

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hehehehehehehehe i like this thread its fun :-)
Bring it on!!!!

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Sorry i'm being told i'm doing it wrong so here goes:-


Wingy was driving his car
and he started to follow a star
brightly guiding him straight to a bar
but he was too short
to see what he thought
were the pumps so near yet so far

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mick, mac, pussycat,
leave your pets alone, :biggrin8:
.

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There was a young fella called Len,

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There was a young fella called Len,
Hid himself away in his den,

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There was a young fella called Len,
Hid himself away in his den,
When he came out for dinner,

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There was a young fella called Len,
Hid himself away in his den,
When he came out for dinner,
He looked an awful lot slimmer

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There was a young fella called Len,
Hid himself away in his den,
When he came out for dinner,
He looked an awful lot slimmer,
'Cause all he had chewed was his pen.

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Acrylic-Bob one fine day,

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Acrylic-Bob one fine day,
Was sat outside in the month of may

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Acrylic-Bob one fine day,
Sat outside in the month of May,
He was reading his Playboy,

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Acrylic-Bob one fine day,
Sat outside in the month of May,
He was reading his Playboy,
and playing with his six-inch toy

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Acrylic-Bob one fine day,
Sat outside in the month of May,
He was reading his Playboy,
and playing with his six-inch toy
Proves he isn't gay!

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Tealeaf was stirring his tea,

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Tealeaf was stirring his tea,
When he came across a bee,

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Tealeaf was stirring his tea,
When buzzing along came this little Bee

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Tealeaf was stirring his tea,
When he came across a bee,
He said "Hi honey, what ya doin'"

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Ah, too late T!

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Tealeaf was stirring his tea,
When he came across a bee,
He said "Hi honey, what ya doin'"
Do you fancy coming clubbin"

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Tealeaf was stirring his tea,
When he came across a bee,
He said "Hi honey, what ya doin'"
Do you fancy coming clubbin
At which the bee peed in his tea.

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There was a young man from accy,

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There was a young man from accy,
Who's dress sense was terribly tacky,

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Oh this should be good.............lol

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There was a young man from accy,
Who's dress sense was terribly tacky,
And was smoking his wacky backy

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There was a young man from accy,
Who's dress sense was terribly tacky,
And was smoking his wacky backy
So his boss give him the sacky

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There was a young man from accy,
Who's dress sense was terribly tacky,
And was smoking his wacky backy
So his boss give him the sacky
No sweat, he was only a lacky

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There once was a guy from Springhill,

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There once was a guy from Springhill,
he really thought hed take a pill,

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There once was a guy from Springhill,
he really thought hed take a pill,
But the thing that he 'swallered',

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There once was a guy from Springhill,
he really thought hed take a pill,
But the thing that he 'swallered',
made him hot under the coller,

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There once was a guy from Springhill,
He really thought hed take a pill,
But the thing that he 'swallered',
Made him hot under the collar,
So he took off his shirt just to 'chill'.

___________________________

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there once was a guy from florida,

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there once was a guy from florida,
who happened to walk down a corrida

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there once was a guy from florida,
who happened to walk down a corrida
when he got to the end

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there once was a guy from florida,
who happened to walk down a corrida
when he got to the end
and found a friend

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there once was a guy from florida,
who happened to walk down a corrida
when he got to the end
and found a friend
Captain Hunt from the starship Andromeda

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Ha - good one yerself, difficult finish there. Are you going to start us off with another one?

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nice one :thumbsup:

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Tealeaf had turkey for dinner

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Tealeaf had turkey for dinner,
He was dieting to make himself thinner,

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Tealeaf had turkey for dinner,
He was dieting to make himself thinner,
But the turkey he cooked

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Tealeaf had turkey for dinner,
He was dieting to make himself thinner,
But the turkey he cooked,
Got him totally hooked,

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Tealeaf had turkey for dinner,
He was dieting to make himself thinner,
But the turkey he cooked,
Got him totally hooked,
And Knew he was on to a Winner

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There was a young lady called Janet

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Roy Came Home From Russia

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There was a young lady called Janet
Who Everyone Knew Was A Gannet

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Roy Came Home From Russia
via what was once known as Prussia

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There was a young lady called Janet
Who Everyone Knew Was A Gannet
she knew this strange bloke

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There was a young lady called Janet
Who Everyone Knew Was A Gannet
she knew this strange bloke
who was into old folk

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Roy Came Home From Russia
via what was once known as Prussia
the rush he was in was quite a sin

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Roy Came Home From Russia
via what was once known as Prussia
the rush he was in was quite a sin
has he left the pets in the hotel Starlin

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a young lady called Janet
Who Everyone Knew Was A Gannet
she knew this strange bloke
who was into old folk
A Cannibal! God, we should ban it.

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A lesbian once in Kartoum,
Took a nancy-boy back to her room,
She said, "Let's get this straight,
before it's too late.
Who does what, and with which, and to whom?"

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Roy Came Home From Russia
via what was once known as Prussia
the rush he was in was quite a sin
has he left the pets in the hotel Starlin
Ah, you've told! Now he's gonna cuss ya.

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A non-virtuous lady of Church,

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A non-virtuous lady of Church,
Whom everyone loved to besmirch,