Limericks - add a line
 

OK - another thread on which to waste our time......

Let's make up our own Limericks a line at a time. I'm sure you all know but I'll tell you anyway. A Limerick is a five line rhyme. The first two lines rhyme, the third and fourth lines rhyme and the last line rhymes with the first, eg.

There was a young girl of Southbend,
Who had only 'tuppence' to spend,
So what could be nicer,
Than a Pendleton's twicer?
Ice cream, with a lolly each end.

Right I'll start:-

There once was a lady called Janet,

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There once was a lady called Janet,
Who lived on a far away planet,

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There once was a lady called Janet,
Who lived on a far away planet,
When she landed on Earth,

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There once was a lady called Janet,
Who lived on a far away planet,
When she landed on Earth,
She wondered was it worth,

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There once was a lady called Janet,
Who lived on a far away planet,
When she landed on Earth,
She wondered was it worth,
All the eating that made her a gannet!

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Go on Kippax, you start the next one.

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There was on old lady from Accy

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There was on old lady from Accy,
Who partook of the old Wacky Backy,

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There was on old lady from Accy,
Who partook of the old Wacky Backy,
But it made her feel Ill,

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There was on old lady from Accy,
Who partook of the old Wacky Backy,
But it made her feel Ill,
So she then took a pill,

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There was on old lady from Accy,
Who partook of the old Wacky Backy,
But it made her feel Ill,
So she then took a pill,
But that only made her feel cacky!




Sorry :)

Someone else?

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Tealeaf, a fella from Church,

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Who walks with a bit of a Lurch,

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Tealeaf, a fella from Church,
Who walks with a bit of a Lurch,
It's the ale in The Stag,

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Tealeaf, a fella from Church,
Who walks with a bit of a Lurch,
It's the ale in The Stag,
That made it all shag

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Tealeaf, a fella from Church,
Who walks with a bit of a Lurch,
It's the ale in The Stag,
That made it all shag,
Ah, the man's name we doth besmirch

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When Doug was once visiting Bash,

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He went into the pub without cash

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he made a quick dash.......

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When Doug was once visiting Bash,
He went into the pub without cash
he made a quick dash.......
to locate his stash,

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now they call him jack flash

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Pussycat you are suspose to write it all down.

Oh thanks, You could have come up with something a bit more Flirty

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im not writing all that!!!!!

there was an old woman from clayton....

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Just copy and paste P/cat.


There was an old woman from Clayton,
Who went on a trip down to Leyton,

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There was an old woman from Clayton,
Who went on a trip down to Leyton,
But forgot to put her skirt on

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There was an old woman from Clayton,
Who went on a trip down to Leyton,
But forgot to put her skirt on
Becaue she couldnt put the light on

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There was an old woman from Clayton,
Who went on a trip down to Leyton,
But forgot to put her skirt on,
So really got a spurt on,

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that doesnt sound right does it? sorry

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Somehow I don't think pussycat will be the next poet laureate.

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No, "That doesn't sound right does it, sorry" doen't really rhyme!

I'll finish it:

There was an old woman from Clayton,
Who went on a trip down to Leyton,
But forgot to put her skirt on,
So really got a spurt on,
When some fella acted like Satan.

That's crap as well but it's the best I could do at short notice.

Here's the new one:-

A pussycat once in Woodnook,

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There was a young man from St Augustine

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She won't the only one Tea..........lol

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Too late "T" you'll have to try that one later!

You're a rotten sod anyway, what the hell rhymes with St. Augustine?

The first line is:-

A pussycat once in Woodnook,

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There was a young man from St Augustine
Whose poetry was remarkably pristine

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There was a young man from St Augustine
Whose poetry was remarkably pristine
With a good bottle of wine

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There was a young man from St Augustine
Whose poetry was remarkably pristine
With a good bottle of wine
He wrote a fine line

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There was a young man from St Augustine
Whose poetry was remarkably pristine
With a good bottle of wine
He turned into a swine

Oh OK..............

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Bu**er.....I must have missed something here

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too many people agggghhhhhh

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There was a young man from St Augustine
Whose poetry was remarkably pristine
With a good bottle of wine
He turned into a swine
And puked in a chapel called Cistine

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[There was a young man from St Augustine
Whose poetry was remarkably pristine
With a good bottle of wine
He wrote a fine line
Alas,he's ****ed again

Pussy, the last line is supposed to rhyme with the first, not the fourth!

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A pussycat once in Woodnook

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There was an old man from china

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There was an old man from china,
Who prattled on just like a minah,

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A pussycat once in Woodnook
was not known as a great cook

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There was an old man from china,
Who prattled on just like a minah
When told to shut up

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A pussycat once in Woodnook
was not known as a great cook
So her husband to be,

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There was an old man from china,
Who prattled on just like a minah
When told to shut up
He said "Nae mon what's up?"

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There was an old fella named Mick,
Who played games until he felt sick,
The others all said,
He's champ of accyweb,
But I think he knows a cheat trick!



hehe Sorry Mick :)

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A pussycat once in Woodnook
was not known as a great cook
So her husband to be,
Sat her on his knee

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A pussycat once in Woodnook
was not known as a great cook
So her husband to be,
Sat her on his knee
And showed her a cookery book

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There was an old man from china,
Who prattled on just like a minah
When told to shut up
He said "Nae mon what's up?"
and that does'nt ryhme either.

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Hahaha, good one "T"

Go on, you have the honours.

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Theres a poster about called Tealeaf,
He likes to give others some grief,
He relishes a good fight,
and will argue all night,
But I think he does it for relief.

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There was a young midwife from Accy

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There was a young midwife from Accy
Who attended the birth of our Jackie,

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There was a young midwife from Accy
Who attended the birth of our Jackie
Well, it all went to plan

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T - Is your location taken from a song perchance?

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There was a young midwife from Accy
Who attended the birth of our Jackie
Well, it all went to plan
the babe went down the pan

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]There was a young midwife from Accy
Who attended the birth of our Jackie
Well, it all went to plan
the babe went down the pan
Oh dear..this is getting so tacky!


Could be Kippax...useless at remembering songs!]

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and names :(

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It's the P on my keyboard...it keepppps sticking.

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Hark! now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldiers Gentlemen,
Then let us list, and march I say,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus:
Over the Hills and o'er the Main,
To Flanders, Portugal and Spain,
Queen Ann commands, and we'll obey,
Over the Hills and far away.

All Gentlemen that have a Mind,
To serve the Queen that's good and kind;
Come list and enter into Pay,
Then o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

Here's Forty Shillings on the Drum,
For those that Volunteers do come,
With Shirts, and Cloaths, and present Pay,
When o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

Hear that brave Boys, and let us go,
Or else we shall be prest you know;
Then list and enter into Pay,
And o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

The Constables they search about,
To find such brisk young Fellows out;
Then let's be Volunteers I say,
Over the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

Since now the French so low are brought,
And Wealth and Honour's to be got,
Who then behind wou'd sneaking stay?
When o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

No more from sound of Drum retreat,
While Marlborough, and Gallaway beat,*
The French and Spaniards every Day,
When o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

He that is forc'd to go and fight,
Will never get true Honour by't,
While Volunteers shall win the Day,
When o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

What tho' our Friends our Absense mourn,
We all with Honour shall return,
And then we'll sing both Night and Day,
Over the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

The[n] Prentice Tom he may refuse,
To wipe his angry Master's Shoes;
For then he's free to sing and play,
Over the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

Over Rivers, Bogs, and Springs,
We all shall live as great as Kings,
And Plunder get both Night and Day,
When o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

We then shall lead more happy Lives,
By getting rid of Brats and Wives,
That Scold on both Night and Day,
When o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

Come on then Boys and you shall see,
We every one shall Captains be,
To Whore and rant as well as they,
When o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

For if we go 'tis one to Ten,
But we return all Gentlemen,
All Gentlemen as well as they,
When o'er the Hills and far away;
Over the Hills, &c.

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A crap limerick yu might say... but this was in reference to mister TeaPleaf location...soz :)

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There's more than 5 lines in that Limerick

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There was a man from the Interlink Stadium

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There was a man from the Interlink Stadium
Who took an exceedingly large dose of radium

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There was a man from the Interlink Stadium
Who took an exceedingly large dose of radium
In less than an hour

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There was a man from the Interlink Stadium
Who took an exceedingly large dose of radium
In less than an hour
He lit up like Blackpool Tower

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There was a man from the Interlink Stadium
Who took an exceedingly large dose of radium
In less than an hour
His stomach went sour,

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There was a man from the Interlink Stadium
Who took an exceedingly large dose of radium
In less than an hour
His stomach went sour,
And he could'nt tell his arse from his atrium

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There was a man from the Interlink Stadium
Who took an exceedingly large dose of radium
In less than an hour
He lit up like Blackpool Tower
Now he's the star at the Palladium.

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Come on...who's starting next?

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Bloody 'ell "T" you're good at this.

When Accy was first on the map,

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There was a young condom co-ordinator from the Globe Centre,

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Bloody 'ell "T" you're good at this.

When Accy was first on the map,
Before the days of the pony and trap

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When Accy was first on the map,
Before the days of the pony and trap
Folks had to travel

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When Accy was first on the map,
Before the days of the pony and trap
Folks had to travel
without a chart to unravel

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When Accy was first on the map,
Before the days of the pony and trap
Folks had to travel
without a chart to unravel
The way they should go, which was crap.

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When Accy was first on the map,
Before the days of the pony and trap
Folks had to travel
without a chart to unravel
Confused? it's time for a nap

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Atarah once said to Owd Bert,

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There was a young condom co-ordinator from the Globe Centre,
who called on a high class hooker, to rent her

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There was a young condom co-ordinator from the Globe Centre,
who called on a high class hooker, to rent her
But when she arrived,

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Atarah once said to Owd Bert
By heck, you'r an old flirt

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There was a young condom co-ordinator from the Globe Centre,
who called on a high class hooker, to rent her
But when she arrived,
They said it's gone five

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Atarah once said to Owd Bert
By heck, you'r an old flirt
So then Owd Bert replied

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There was a young condom co-ordinator from the Globe Centre,
who called on a high class hooker, to rent her
She looked at him straight, and said a hundred quid to you
"It's the ratepayers money" he said "will that do"
To which she replied, "the Council....my mentor"!

Thats it for now...I'm going for a pint.

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There was a young condom co-ordinator from the Globe Centre,
who called on a high class hooker, to rent her
But when she arrived,
They said it's gone five
So home was back where they sent her.

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Atarah once said to Owd Bert
By heck, you'r an old flirt
So then Owd Bert replied

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Atarah once said to Owd Bert
By heck, you'r an old flirt
So then Owd Bert replied
With a wink of an eye

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Atarah once said to Owd Bert
By heck, you'r an old flirt
So then Owd Bert replied
With a wink of an eye
You can take the owd out of Bert.

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Atarah once said to Owd Bert
By heck, you'r an old flirt
So then Owd Bert replied
With a wink of an eye
You should see what's under my shirt.

Apologies to June and Bert. It's all done in jest!

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Lettie was once on her bike,

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Would this be accywebs pussycat by any chance??

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Lettie was once on her bike,
But then decided to hike

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went up pendle hill

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Lettie was once on her bike,
But then decided to hike,
Went up pendle hill,
Just like Jack and Jill,

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Lettie was once on her bike,
But then decided to hike,
Went up pendle hill,
Just like Jack and Jill,
And landed ar*e first in a dyke..

Hehehehe, what a good thread.. :D

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OK come on Lettie, you get to start the next limerick.