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Old 11-11-2011, 12:59   #1486
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Smile Re: Joke Of The Day

19 paddies go to the cinema,the ticket lady asks"Why so many of you?"

Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."
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Old 12-11-2011, 17:43   #1487
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Smile Re: Joke Of The Day

Murphy says to Paddy "What ya talkin to an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voicemail ya thick sod!"
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Old 15-11-2011, 16:05   #1488
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Re: Joke Of The Day

"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I'm on the way to the doctor--i don't like the look of my wife
"Oh! Then I'll come with you-- I hate the sight of mine too."

"Do you come here often?"
"I'm your wife stupid!"

"Measles"
"That's a rash thing to say"

"I didn't come here to be insulted"
"Why--where do you normally go?"

"Do you ever talk to your wife when making love?"
"Only if she telephones"

"My mother made me a homosexual"
"If I sent her the wool,would she make me one too?"

"Do you smoke after making love?"
"I don't know,I've never looked."

"Understand you buried you wife last week?"
"Had to.....dead,you know."

"Mummy,there's a man with a bill at the door."
"Don't be silly,dear.It must be a duck with a hat on."

"Well,how do you find yourself these cold,winter mornings?"
"Oh,I just throw back the blankets and there I am."
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Old 16-11-2011, 15:40   #1489
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Re: Joke Of The Day

Quote:
Originally Posted by claytonx View Post
"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I'm on the way to the doctor--i don't like the look of my wife
"Oh! Then I'll come with you-- I hate the sight of mine too."

"Do you come here often?"
"I'm your wife stupid!"

"Measles"
"That's a rash thing to say"

"I didn't come here to be insulted"
"Why--where do you normally go?"

"Do you ever talk to your wife when making love?"
"Only if she telephones"

"My mother made me a homosexual"
"If I sent her the wool,would she make me one too?"

"Do you smoke after making love?"
"I don't know,I've never looked."

"Understand you buried you wife last week?"
"Had to.....dead,you know."

"Mummy,there's a man with a bill at the door."
"Don't be silly,dear.It must be a duck with a hat on."

"Well,how do you find yourself these cold,winter mornings?"
"Oh,I just throw back the blankets and there I am."
I think it would be nice If a comment was posted ie Rubbish, Made me laugh,been posted before,Loved it
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Old 16-11-2011, 15:46   #1490
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Re: Joke Of The Day

Quote:
Originally Posted by claytonx View Post
I think it would be nice If a comment was posted ie Rubbish, Made me laugh,been posted before,Loved it
You're right, i usually just read and have a chuckle -keep 'em coming Claytonx
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Old 16-11-2011, 17:03   #1491
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Re: Joke Of The Day

After a visit to a house of ill repute a man notices green lumps on his willy,
so he goes to the doctors.

"That's serious" says the doctor. "You've heard that some boxers get cauliflower ears?"

"Yes" says the man seriously.

"Well" says the doctor,
"You've got brothel sprouts."
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Old 16-11-2011, 17:50   #1492
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Re: Joke Of The Day

Quote:
Originally Posted by Retlaw View Post
After a visit to a house of ill repute a man notices green lumps on his willy,
so he goes to the doctors.

"That's serious" says the doctor. "You've heard that some boxers get cauliflower ears?"

"Yes" says the man seriously.

"Well" says the doctor,
"You've got brothel sprouts."
Retlaw I have (had) that for future more the merrier
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Old 17-11-2011, 10:41   #1493
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Smile Joke of the day

"What do virgins eat for breakfast?"

"I don't know"

"Huh! Just as I thought."


"Will the band play anything I request?"
"Certainly,sir"
"Then tell them to play dominoes"
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Old 17-11-2011, 16:38   #1494
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Re: Joke of the day

Are the jokes not funny enough or not sexy enough
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Old 17-11-2011, 16:58   #1495
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Re: Joke of the day

Quote:
Originally Posted by claytonx View Post
Are the jokes not funny enough or not sexy enough
Just in the wrong place
http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/f...-day-2647.html
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Old 17-11-2011, 17:36   #1496
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Re: Joke of the day

Quote:
Originally Posted by MargaretR View Post
Sorry Margaret don't know what you mean (they are in anything goes)
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Old 17-11-2011, 18:04   #1497
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Re: Joke of the day

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Originally Posted by claytonx View Post
Sorry Margaret don't know what you mean (they are in anything goes)
You should have added it to the thread already there.
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Old 17-11-2011, 18:16   #1498
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Re: Joke of the day

Quote:
Originally Posted by MargaretR View Post
You should have added it to the thread already there.
Right now I understand just learning
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Old 18-11-2011, 04:41   #1499
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Re: Joke Of The Day

I have merged the threads
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Old 18-11-2011, 10:31   #1500
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Re: Joke Of The Day

"But Henry,it isn't our baby."
"Shut up--it's a better pram."

Woman, peering into a pram: "Isn't your baby small?"
Mother:"Well,I have only been married three months".

A young man was loudly lamenting to everyone in the bar
that is doctor had ordered him to give up haif is sex life.
"Which half are you going to give up?"asked a bored listener.
"Talking about it--- or thinking about it?"
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